Tainted Perception
by shadow375
Summary: It had been 7 months since Skye had disappeared, 7 months where they had twisted her reality, 7 months her team had searched before they found her. "We want you to break her. Sever all of the ties that she has…We want the word 'hope' to be out of her vocabulary. If we let her go, she'll stay because she knows there's nowhere to run." Warning: torture/sexual abuse/suicide attempt.
1. Chapter 1 The Rescue

AN: I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D or any of the characters as they belong to Marvel. This is my first story written, so try to go easy on it, although constructive criticism is welcome. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: Rescue

"Our resources tell us that this one is an 0-8-4. An object of unknown origin." He clarified, pressing a button on the hand held remote that changed the screen to show a young brunette. "She goes by Skye. S.H.I.E.L.D is keeping her close and has her as a part of Agent Coulson's team," the slide changed to a picture of the latter. "Rumor has it that she is…" the man paused, searching for the right word. "special and we want her to be on our side."

"What do you want from me?" Mac asked, wishing the other man would have kept the picture of the pretty little brunette on the screen.

"We want full control. If we say jump, she better jump." The guy who refused to give a name sat down across the table from Mac, finished with his presentation. He intertwined his fingers, "We want you to break her. Sever all of the ties that she has with SHIELD…"

"You want to isolate her?" Mac asked.

The guy tilted his head, "She is an orphan, moved in and out of foster care for all of her life, but the bonds that she's created with her new team, especially Coulson, are strong. We want the word 'hope' to be out of her vocabulary. If we let her go, she'll stay because she knows there's nowhere to run. In the end, we want to be the people that she turns to. Can you do that?"

"I have just the thing for that. But tell me, any restrictions?" Mac asked, excitement beginning to form at the possibilities.

"At no point can you endanger her life. We want her alive and physically functional. Otherwise, no restrictions," The man continued.

He couldn't contain his smile at the last statement.

"You'll have 9 months and will update us on the progress. You will also have our men at your disposal. We have set up a facility specifically for this. You stay low and out of sight, we keep SHIELD busy and away from you while you work." The man explained in a stoic tone.

"And how do we exactly get her to this facility?" Kidnapping wasn't his strong suite.

"We have a mole in SHIELD. Her sentimental side will be her downfall. As we speak, her team is landing at the base for plane maintenance and downtime. She will visit her van that is being kept at storage, as she always does, and that's where my men will step in."

Mac was being paid for being a sociopath and his latest project was being hand delivered. Not to mention, he would finally be able to test out his latest serum. "Where do I sign?"

*******AoS*******

It had been over 7 months. 7 damn months since they had last seen her. "We're running out of time and this is the last cell. She has got to be here," Coulson desperately stated.

Fitz voice came over the earpiece, "Hacking the door now."

With his flashlight in his gloved hand, Ward walked into the pitched black cell. His footsteps echoed against the concrete floor as May and Coulson covered the corridor. He scanned the horizon with his light, the beat of his heart pounding in his ears as he prayed to a deity, that he wasn't sure existed, that she was there. His anxiety began to consume him until he saw the huddled body in the corner.

"I got her." He ran over and crouched down. Not wanting to startle her, he reached out slowly and placed his hand on her shaking shoulder. She tensed, as she tried to shrink into herself more. He resisted flinching at her reaction. "Skye, it's Grant," Ward said in a gentle voice. She only lifted her head slightly, staring at his shoes before deciding this wasn't real.

"You're freezing!" He stated as he pulled a blanket out of his pack and wrapped it around her.

"We got to go. FitzSimmons say we have company headed our way", Coulson stated through the doorway.

Not being able to see the extent of her injuries, Ward gently wrapped his arms around the trembling girl. He felt her tense up at the contact, but otherwise she didn't react. It scared him how light she was. This is not at all how he had imagined the rescue would be. "We'll get you out of here, I promise."

Carrying Skye, he met the other two agents in the corridor where they began following the instructions of the genius duo to exit the facility until they heard, "Oh crap!" in a Scottish accent over the intercom. "You've got a large group of guards headed your way. At least 10 of them. Retrace the last two turns and hang tight," Fitz stated in a panicked voice.

They could hear the laughter coming from the group, getting louder as they got closer. The rescue team all held their breaths in anticipation. They had no backup and Skye was in no shape to run. As they waited for the guards to pass, Ward looked down when he felt Skye lean into him while fisting his shirt. He tightened his grip, trying to convey what comfort he could. Once the noises from the guards died out, Fitz gave his team the all clear.

"Let's move," Coulson stated, doing his best to stay focused, gun at the ready. Only once they got her to safety, would he allow himself to see the bruises that were right in front of him.

With FitzSimmons guiding them each step of the way, they made it to the garage where they were able to steal one of the vans. Ward climbed in the back as May headed to the drivers seat. With Skye still clutching to his shirt, he placed her beside him and wrapped her still shaking form with the blanket Coulson handed him.

Climbing into the passenger seat, Coulson reached to his comm, "We're clear. Set it off." They easily could feel the explosion on the other side of the building complex followed by the shouts of the men trying to contain the chaos. "Diversion was successful, you are all clear to take the back route", came Fitz's voice over the comm. May put the van into drive and headed into the winter blizzard.

"We're going home," Ward whispered to Skye. Even after rescuing her, he felt helpless as she continued to shiver in his arms, her body as stiff as a board.

AN: Please review and let me know your thoughts :)


	2. Chapter 2 Intangible Homecoming

AN: I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D or any of the characters as they belong to Marvel.

Thank you for everyone who took the time to review! They really help to motivate the writing process :) I would also like to thank my best friend who has put up with my endless ideas/rants and helped this story progress along when I felt like tossing whole chunks out. This story couldn't have made it this far without you!

On a side note, I am graduating and have a lot going on the next few days so will try to update as soon as I can.

**Chapter 2 Intangible Homecoming**

Once they arrived at the Bus, Coulson opened the back door and with a gentle voice, he merely stated, "Hey Skye." She flinched as she pulled her knees closer. Confused and a little hurt, Coulson immediately backed off, giving them room to exit the van. The main thing was they had gotten her back. He didn't know what had caused her to start fearing him, but he would fix it. They had time for that, he reassured himself.

When Simmons rushed towards the team, Ward shook his head deterring her advancement after he heard Skye's quiet whimper. The smile slipped off of Jemma's face, but she stopped in her tracks. Coulson went to her and gave her shoulder a squeeze, knowing that this whole situation had been tough on everyone in his team. "Fitz is monitoring the building, just to make sure that you weren't followed. Can never be too careful," Jemma continued as she forced a fake smile to Coulson and headed to the doors of the med bay.

May gave a quick nod to Coulson before heading to the cockpit. She would be of no help here and needed to see if it was possible to get the Bus up and moving before the worst part of the blizzard hit. The farther away that she got her team from this place, the better she would feel.

Ward followed Simmons and placed Skye on the med bench. She tightened her grip on him, trying to push herself off of the table. Her breathing became panicked. She knew what the white benches entailed for her. "Please," She whispered desperately, "I'll be good. I'm sorry."

He immediately pulled her off the table. "It's ok, its ok. You didn't do anything wrong. No one is going to hurt you." He backed away from the table, and sat on the ground with her still in his arms. She immediately curled up. He tightened his grip around her, continuing his reassurances. Unsure of what to do, Ward looked up to Coulson who took a step towards them, but stopped himself from continuing. The fatherly instincts that he had begun to develop for the 'hactivist', as she had so proudly referred to herself, wanted to approach her and fix everything but with her earlier reaction to him, he was trying to avoid causing her more distress.

After the van incident, Ward understood Coulson's hesitancy and refocused his attention on Skye.

Watching the whole scene play out, Jemma placed her hand over her mouth, trying to keep her composure together for her best friend. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath in, _Pull it together Jemma. You can have your little breakdown later_, she thought to herself as she approached the two on the ground.

"Skye, its Jemma. I have to get a look at your injuries and need to get a scan. I promise no one is going to hurt you," She said in her calmest voice. "So we're just going to put you on the table, but Ward is going to stay right by you." Simmons nodded at Ward.

He stood up and walked to the table placing her down gently, before wrapping his arms around her. "You're ok. Doing great." Ward didn't want to let go, but he knew they needed a scan in order to help her. From the little he had seen, there was a lot of bruising. The faster they got this part over with, the faster they could help Skye and at least decrease the physical pain.

He slowly leaned her back. "We just need you to lay down for the computer to get a quick scan." He could tell that she was fighting her instinct to push off from the table, with her jaw clenched tight, one hand now clutching to his forearm. He had to resist just picking her back up and walking away. Anything to get that fear off her face.

Once she was laid down, he gently plied her hand from his forearm, replacing it in his own hand. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you," Ward reassured his rookie quietly. Jemma and Ward looked at her bruise covered calves that were revealed with the shifting of the blankets. They both shared a look, before returning to their designated tasks.

Jemma immediately began the scan, not wanting Skye to be in distress any longer than she needed to be.

Skye remained as stiff as a board. Her eyes focused on Wards hand clutched tightly in her right hand. _Just be good. Be good. Don't make them mad. _Skye repeated to herself as she worked on maintaining her breathing._ It's not real, _her thoughts countered. _They've done this before. It's not really them Skye. You'll mess up. Even if you don't, he'll find a reason to get mad and then you'll see that it's not really them. You can't afford to believe it's them. _

_But I'm so tired._ The voice in her head sounded so weak._ I just can't do this anymore. What do I have to lose? _There was no reply back. In a moment of insanity and desperation, she had once considered naming her other voice that kept telling her to fight and be a good agent, but then she thought of all of those movies where people developed multiple personalities that went on killing sprees and had decided against it.

As soon as the scan was done, Ward had slipped an arm behind her back and helped her to sit up. Coulson walked over to the screen when he heard Jemma let out a gasp. He couldn't help but notice Skye shift towards Ward while tracking his every move.

_Yeah hide from one monster by holding on to another, _the 'agent' voice started again... Not that she had named the voice.

She was tired of having to defend herself from her own self. It didn't even make sense, but she had given up a long time ago in trying to understand it. _We both know that Coulson…fake Coulson was a lot worse than fake Ward. Maybe I'll get a little break, _she couldn't help but hope. The counter voice didn't tell her that it was stupid to get her hopes up. She didn't have to.

Skye pulled away from Ward once Coulson had passed by, slightly swaying from what Ward guessed was exhaustion.

Unaware of the internal struggle happening with Skye, Coulson stood next to Jemma, "Simmons?" He couldn't help to be unprofessional right now. They both needed to stay focused.

"Um the right shoulder is dislocated, there are 4 broken ribs, the wrist…." She took a deep breath in and reminded herself that she was the one who had requested to be in the field. _Just a little longer Jemma, _she repeated to herself. "Her wrist shows a healed fracture. There are lacerations on her wrists and ankles, possibly from cuffs" She finished in a horrified whisper. "She's lost a lot of weight sir. What's worrisome is the low blood pressure of 80/50. Her systolic is normally 110. We need to get that shoulder back in place and start her up on some IV fluids and oxygen before her organ function is declined due to the lack of perfusion." Jemma finished as she began gathering the IV start kit along with the fluids and pain meds.

Skye watched Simmons and Coulson, paying very close attention to what Simmons was grabbing. When she saw the tourniquet, she shuddered. Ward watched as she began subtlety scanning for an exit. "No one is going to hurt you, Skye," Ward repeated yet again, reassuringly giving her hand a gentle squeeze. He wished there was something else that he could say that would provide some comfort. He watched as her shoulders sagged in defeat and her attention returned to Simmons.

Coulson stayed behind as Simmons approached the med table on Skye's right side. "Hey Skye, your right shoulder is dislocated and we have to get it back into place. I can give you some muscle relaxants and pain meds for the pain?" Simmons asked, holding out a capped syringe. "Its just a little morphine."

Skye pushed back against Ward as soon as she saw the syringe, trying to get off of the table. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, realizing really quickly that it was the wrong choice as she fought against him even harder. In her current shape, it wasn't much of a fight, which scared him more.

He lifted her up from the table and repeated the process that he had done what seemed only a few minutes ago, except this time he stayed seated on the ground.

Jemma turned to Coulson, "I can't do this," she said in a desperate voice that was begging him to find an alternate. Coulson took a few steps towards her. "Yes you can. You have to. The sooner we get this done, the sooner she can get some rest. We got her back Jemma. Now we just have to help her." She nodded at him, took in a deep breath, and walked over to Skye and Ward. Coulson remained by the computer, feeling helpless, yet trying to support his team as much as he could.

"Please, no more," Ward and Simmons barely heard the hushed whisper.

"Skye, I need to get an IV started. Your blood pressure is low and we need to get some fluids in you. I can give you the pain medicine through your IV as well." Simmons added, staying true to her character of always finding a positive twist. Simmons and Ward shared a look when they didn't get a response. Ward could still feel her shaking against his chest.

"Can I see your left arm?" Simmons asked gently. A minute passed before Skye began shifting the blankets, conscious of her injured right shoulder. She stuck out her trembling left arm slowly. Simmons took in a deep breath to prepare herself while Ward required no prep time to put his mask on. The agents immediately noticed the bruises, all in different stages; some that clearly resembled hand prints. Looking past the bruises, their attention was forced to focus on the multiple needle punctures. No wonder she was so adverse to the med lab, or any contact for that matter.

Simmons reached in the drawer behind her and grabbed a few test tubes. They needed to know what they had given her. "I'm just going to grab a few blood samples and get an IV started." She put her gloves on and sent a quick little prayer that she wouldn't miss the vein with how dehydrated Skye was.

Skye watched closely as Simmons placed the tourniquet before prepping the IV kit. She remained tense against Ward, but had given up on the idea of getting away.

True to her word, the scientist drew a few blood samples before she pulled out a syringe, "its just some normal saline. Salt water essentially, just to make sure that the IV is working good," Simmons babbled on, as she flushed the IV. "Well now we just have to attach this bag of fluids and let it run," she said as she attached the tubing from the bag to the IV.

Skye watched the liquid move through the tubing. She took a deep breath and braced herself for the burn that was for sure to follow, but it never came. She stared at her IV, surprised as she watched the clear liquid go through. _They must have changed the stuff, _Skye thought to herself.

Jemma watched her friends face turn from fear to confusion, before she masked her emotions. "Skye, I want to put some pain meds into your IV before we set your shoulder," Jemma stated apprehensively. She subtly removed the needle from the morphine syringe and reached for the port on the tubing. "Just a little morphine," Jemma continued as she pushed the morphine slowly. "All done! Now we'll just give it a few minutes to kick in and set that shoulder in place," Jemma smiled at the small success as she removed her gloves.

Skye hated herself for having to brace against Ward when Simmons popped her shoulder back in place, but this was the first time that the contact felt somewhat comforting. Even if it was fake Ward and she was sure that he would turn on her pretty soon, she relished the small moment.

"Your oxygen saturation is a little low, possibly due to the dehydration," Simmons explained as she pulled out a nasal cannula. "We need to put you on some oxygen, just till your fluids increase and we'll go from there." Simmons continued, trying her best to keep it all simple and explain things as she went along. Patient centered care is what her instructors had called it. She gently placed the cannula, before securing it behind her friend's ears. "There we are," she finished.

_Don't breath it, you don't know what's in it! _ The agent voice chimed in. Skye ignored the voice and took some breaths through her nose. After a minute or two, her apprehension declined as she watched her oxygen levels slowly increase from 84 to 93 and she didn't feel any effects. _It could have been a drug, _the voice defended, a little annoyed.

Skye did her best to not lean on Ward, surprised at his actions thus far. This wasn't like him at all. Her attention was diverted when the scientist began talking again.

"Now we can get you cleaned up and wrap those ribs and cuts," Jemma said, trying to sound confident. She had no idea how Skye was going to react and not knowing specifically what had been done to her at the facility, she couldn't anticipate it either.

"I brought some of your clothes from your bunk, and we got some towels here," Jemma started. "There's a bench in the shower down here." Ward's eyebrow went up, surprised that they had a shower in the lower level and he hadn't known about it.

"Its more for decontamination and medical use," Jemma explained, trying to keep the room from complete silence.

Skye simply closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, tuning out the conversation. _Suck it up. Don't fight it. Your ribs can't handle another round. _She repeated to herself over and over. _Just another shower_, she couldn't help the shudder that followed that thought_._

Coulson watched Skye's reaction as he stood helpless in the same spot by the computer, waiting to be needed. He watched her slow her breathing down as she clenched her jaw in determination. His Skye was still in there fighting, although it hurt to know that she didn't trust them, let alone recognize them as her team. He felt restless, standing and watching, not being able to get within 5 ft of Skye without an outward reaction from her.

He watched Agent Ward carry Skye to the shower that doubled as a decontamination room. "I'm going to check in with Fitz and May, keep me posted," Coulson stated to Jemma who replied with a small nod. "And Jemma," he waited till she looked straight at him. "You can do this," he reassured her before heading to the stairs.

AN: Please review and let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3 Intangible Homecoming Part 2

AN: Thank you for everyone who took the time to review! They really help to motivate the writing process. This has not been beta'd, apologies for any errors.

On a side note, just graduated from nursing school! Woohoo! Have a lot going on the next few days so will try to update as soon as I can.

**Chapter 3 ****Intangible Homecoming Part 2**

Coulson had left Ward and Simmons to tend to Skye, recognizing that he was of no use to them.

He walked to the briefing room where he found the tech expert typing away with screens of the footage from the facility running in the background. "Just wanted to warn you to not go downstairs," the older agent started, to which Fitz tiredly looked up and nodded. This whole thing had hit close to home for the entire team. Once they had found out her possible location for the third time, everyone had worked endless hours to set up a new breakout plan, trying not to get their hopes too high. "How's it coming along here?"

"Good news is they weren't able to track us Sir. The explosion did a great job of keeping them busy. Now that we're up in the air, I suppose it doesn't really matter," Fitz finished as he sent the coordinates that May had requested before quickly going to the pilot seat.

"What's the bad news?" He couldn't help but asking.

"Bad news, Sir, is with the storm, I'm no longer able to monitor the activities at the facility." Fitz replied. "The footage on the monitors," he nodded towards the screens, "is the footage from the operation. I wanted to make sure that I didn't miss anything," he explained.

"Good work. I'm going to check up on May and see where we're at," The older agent patted the shoulder of the young scientist sitting in front of him before leaving him to his work.

Coulson walked into the cockpit, having to use the walls with the slight turbulence. "What's the status?" he asked May, as he moved to the copilot seat.

"I've managed to stay ahead of the blizzard, but unfortunately it's moving too fast and will catch up with us." May replied, her focus on the winter storm in front of her.

"The farther we are from that place, the better," Coulson replied. "Get as far as you can safely, then we'll land and wait out the storm."

"There is a forest nearby that contains a small clearing. It would be a good place to put the camouflage on," May stated the plan, already knowing he was going there.

Coulson nodded to himself then began to head back to the main area before he heard his name. Looking back, May glanced at him before asking, "how is she?"

"Really scared," he replied, pausing before adding, "especially of me. Physically, her broken bones will heal. Mentally….," He drifted off, Skye's face staring at him in fear taking over his thoughts.

"We'll get her back. We just have to be patient," May encouraged as she pulled Phil back from wherever his mind had gone off to. Even though she couldn't see him, Coulson nodded once again before heading back to check on the rest of the team.

*******AoS*******

Ward began feeling the small trembles the closer he got to the shower room. He was three feet away when her breathing started to head towards erratic. He stopped in his tracks, turned and shook his head at the scientist. There was no way that he was going to put her through that. "Its ok rookie, we're not going in there," he reassured, walking away from the room and towards the med table once again.

"There's a drain and running water in this room," Jemma started, referring to the lab, "in case of a spill that needs cleaning. I'm sure Fitz could change the temperature." Part of Jemma wondered if they should just do a towel bath, but she knew that if she was in that situation she would want all of that grime off of her.

Ward watched the scientist head towards the computer, before he looked down at his rookie who seemed to be intently studying the blanket wrapped around her. Every once in a while her gaze would drift to the shower room, as if she was waiting for someone to come out. "Do you want to get cleaned up?" he asked gently.

Skye's gaze immediately drifted back to her blanket. She bit her lower lip, trying to decide if there was a right answer that he was looking for. She wanted the dirt off, she wanted them off. If she could have her way, she would scrub the top layer of her skin off, anything to make their touches disappear. All he got in response to his question was a long blink. He couldn't help the little bit of hope that he felt at his old rookie still being there, fighting.

Ward remembered one of the movie nights that had started a long discussion about comas and being in a vegetative state. Skye had insisted that they all needed a way of communicating as it would already be frustrating being stuck in your own body but not being able to reach out to the outside world. She insisted that they create a whole language. After they had all given her incredulous looks, they had compromised that the two words that were really needed were 'yes' and 'no'.

Jemma being the peacekeeper had immediately jumped in and suggested that a deliberate long blink, would be 'yes' and two successive blinks meant 'no'. Skye had added that the yes blink had to last at least 1.5 Mississippi's, arguing that people could have different standards that could lead to a miscommunication. Ward had simply shook his head at his rookie and the things that she got passionate about. Not getting the agreement she wanted from her S.O. at the new standards, she had begun to stare at him, even when he looked away. It was in these moments that he realized just how stubborn she could be. The staring didn't stop until he agreed to follow the standards, to which she simply replied with a smile on her face, "I'm glad that that's settled. So whose up for lunch?"

Is that how she felt right now, trapped within her body and not able to communicate with the outside world? The only time that she had talked was to beg them not to do something, and even then she had cringed as if waiting for retaliation. Ward refocused his attention at his rookie, before quietly replying, "that was definitely at least 1.5 Mississippi's."

_Could he be real? _She began to think, hesitant on getting her hopes up and yet knowing that the Ward that enjoyed inflicting pain would have never known that. She began to think about the drugs and their effects, maybe she was hallucinating and her mind was making it up to give her something to hold on to.

Ward watched Skye's face closely, trying to read the reaction to his reply. She had her emotions a lot more guarded compared to the rookie he had first started training who was more than happy to let you know if you had annoyed her or if she was happy. His old trainee had certain emotions that she had hid well, but after working with her for a few months, she became an open book. For now, he barely caught the confusion that crossed her face before she controlled her features into a non-expressive expression again. The task of studying his rookie's expression was interrupted by the scientist.

"Fitz has successfully diverted…He was able to get the water heated," Jemma caught herself, "And I told him to not let anyone come down till we're done." She walked over to the two, Skye sitting on the bench and Ward right next to her, a supportive arm wrapped around her. Poor Skye looked like she just wanted to pass out; Ward was possibly the only thing holding her up. "We could do this later," Jemma offered.

"Lets do it now," Ward replied, after he felt his rookie tense up at Simmons' offer. Jemma made quick eye contact with the agent who gave her a nod of encouragement.

"Ok. I've raised the temperature in the lab so it won't be so cold. Just have to grab a few things," she stated. 2 minutes later and Jemma had a whole table covered in new blankets, towels, Skye's pajamas and clothes, shower items, bandages and ointments.

When Skye saw the hose attached to a shower head, she tensed her body before leaning against Ward and away from the water source. _You're not cuffed. This is different,_ she kept repeating to herself. Her mind started feeling groggy, probably the morphine.

"So you are going to get wet," Jemma looked at Ward, who nodded in reply. "Skye, we'll do your hair first, then get the rest of you washed up and bandaged." Of course there was no reply, so she started the water and tested it.

Skye watched the scientist out of her peripheral vision, surprised that she was testing the water. Normally they would just…she stopped her thoughts and focused on the fact that she wasn't stuck in a small room, her hand was not cuffed, and they hadn't wrapped anything around her neck. Nothing made sense since she had been taken out of her little cellblock.

Skye buried her head into Ward's side once the water hit before realizing that it actually felt nice. Ward of course was soaked really quickly. Grabbing the shampoo and conditioner, Jemma was gentle on her friends head, afraid that she might have bruising, but made sure to do a thorough job as the SO helped to hold the water with his free hand.

With her hair washed, Ward stated that he was going to close his eyes. Skye wasn't sure if she was losing it or the drugs were acting up, but she could have sworn that he said he would give her some privacy. He kept his arm around her, supporting the tired analyst, but otherwise he closed his eyes and waited for the signal that they were done.

Once she had cleaned the previously dislocated arm, Jemma held out the lufa for Skye. The analyst looked a little surprised, but she hesitantly took the soap covered ball. This was the first time since they had taken her that they were actually letting her 'participate' in her own shower. _This can't be real._

Jemma focused on the soap the whole time, trying her best to ignore the bruises that were everywhere and the lacerations on her wrists and ankles. Once they finished, she would have a breakdown and would then be ready to help her friend in anyway she could. Just a little longer. She let Skye do what she could, wanting to give her some semblance of control.

"Ward, we're going to have her stand up," Simmons stated, not wanting her friend to fall. Ward stood up and held his other arm out for support, his eyes still closed. Jemma caught Skye's glance at her SO's face, surprised that his eyes were indeed closed. She held on to the man that was supposedly her SO, hating it but knowing the alternate was the ground.

Within 15 minutes she was dry and dressed and Ward was finally able to open his eyes. Working together they set her on a dry bench before wrapping her ribs and bandaging her wrists, ankles, and other minor cuts. The older agent felt the anger boiling inside of him when he saw how deep the lacerations on her wrists were, but he hid his emotions. She didn't need to be anymore afraid of him than she already was.

Ward wrapped his rookie, who looked like she was barely hanging on to consciousness, with a few blankets before carrying her to her old room, not wanting his wet clothes to get her wet. She was passed out by the time they made it to her bunk. Jemma pulled the covers back before he placed her gently on the bed, and tucked her in, an ice pack on her right shoulder. Jemma set up the IV fluids and oxygen tank next to the bed, out of the way.

Coulson stood in the doorway, watching the scene. "How bad is it?" he asked quietly.

"I gave her a sedative to help her sleep. Physically, she'll recover. Just needs to take it easy on those ribs and her shoulder. Emotionally, well that's a whole other story. I want to head back to the lab and run some diagnostic tests on her blood, see what they gave her," Simmons responded.

Coulson merely nodded, not taking his eyes off of Skye, before stepping out of the way to let the scientist pass. "Agent Ward," Coulson called, getting the younger man's attention. "Go get cleaned up, I'll stay with her till you get back. Somehow I don't think she'll find it very comforting having me here when she wakes up."

Ward tore his eyes away from Skye and gave his boss a sympathetic look. He knew how much Skye had meant to him and couldn't imagine how he felt right now. With one last glance at his rookie, he walked out of the room and headed to his bunk to grab some clothes for a quick shower.

AN: Please review and let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4 Can't Catch a Break

AN: Thank you all for the congrats and reviews! They're much appreciated! I have begun to study for the licensure test and have an interview this Thursday that I'm praying goes wherever God leads it. To say I'm nervous is an understatement…And on to the story!

I do apologize, but the next chapters might be a little shorter with everything else going on, however they should give a glimpse of what happened.

**Chapter 4 Can't Catch a Break**

Jemma felt numb as she headed to the lab. She took in a deep breath and grabbed the vials of Skye's blood, ignoring the mess from the shower. Walking over to the computers, the scientist felt little comfort from the familiarity of her workstation. She focused on what she knew, setting the computer up and letting it run diagnostics on the samples before she began cleaning the lab.

Fitz headed downstairs after he saw Coulson standing watch over Skye, wanting to check up on his best friend.

He walked into the lab only to find his lab partner picking up the wet towels, quiet tears streaming down her face. "Hey Jemma," he said quietly, heading towards her.

"Oh Fitz," is all Jemma managed to get out before the sobs came. He immediately closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry. "She's so…scared and…and she doesn't even recognize us as her team," Jemma told him in between sobs.

"We got her back, Jemma. She's safe now. We just need to help her," He whispered, trying to stay positive even though he hadn't seen what had exactly happened. He ran his hand up and down her back, trying to console his partner as best as he could while she continued to cry on his chest.

Once her crying had calmed down, Jemma pulled back from Fitz who wasn't ready to let her completely go. She wiped her nose with her sleeve, "I'm sorry," she stated.

"No need to apologize Jems, you're my best friend. You wanna talk about it?" he offered.

"Oh, Fitz" she sniffled, letting a few more tears run down. "She is covered in bruises, and her ankles and wrists…the lacerations…she fought them," Jemma tried to explain. "She's really scared of all of us, but Coulson the most. When I pulled a needle out," Jemma covered her eyes with her hand and shook her head, unable to explain the fear that she saw in Skye's eyes. "She had all these puncture wounds on her arms."

Fitz had placed his hands on her shoulders, trying his best to ground her.

"And the bite marks….I think I'm going to be sick," Jemma continued quietly. He definitely had not been prepared to hear that, and yet she had had to see it and deal with it with no preparation. He pulled his favorite scientist back into a hug and just held her. Jemma simply enjoyed being able to let her emotions go.

"We'll get her back Jems," he whispered.

Once the british scientist was able to pull herself together, the duo split apart and began to clean the lab, picking up the shower equipment and drying off the floor and benches. They worked in complete silence, each caught up in their own thoughts, till the computer informed them that the diagnostics were ready.

*******AoS*******

Ward had just finished with his shower before walking over to Skye's bunk to find Coulson leaning on the wall, close to the doorway. The older agent didn't acknowledge his return, his attention focused on the sleeping figure. His rookie was passed out, and for that he was grateful. She needed all of the rest that she could get.

Ward leaned on the doorway, arms crossed, watching the analyst sleep. The two men remained silent, neither moving till they heard the scientists heading towards them.

"The lab results are done," Jemma quietly stated, holding papers in her hands. Coulson tilted his head, indicating for them to move somewhere else where they could discuss the findings. The team leader called May to join them, wanting her to be there as Simmons explained the results.

"What's our status?" Coulson asked as May walked towards them.

"We are approximately 350 km out from the facility and we are stuck here till the blizzard calms down. Camo is on," May answered, not missing a beat. "With the blizzard, I wasn't able to contact SHIELD headquarters, but have set the system to keep trying every 30 minutes."

"That will have to do for now," Coulson nodded before turning his attention to the two scientists.

The silence ensued, before Fitz jumped in, "oh, that's us," he stated, realizing that everyone was looking at him and Jemma.

"There are traces of different types of hallucinogens in her system and sensory enhancing drugs," Simmons explained as she pulled up the labs on the monitors.

"Sensory enhancing drugs?" Ward asked, crossing his arms in preparation for the answer he didn't want to hear.

"They increase the activity of the sensory preceptors and cause a neuro-chemical imbalance that effect the brain resulting in abnormal processing of sensory stimuli…" Simmons took a deep breath, finally able to look at the team who looked a little confused. She tried to not get caught up in the science lingo, even though it helped her to dissociate what she was saying from her friend. The others needed to be on the same page. "The drugs altered her sensory perception," She finished.

Fitz stepped right in, not missing a beat. "A small pat on the cheek could feel like your face got an extremely hard pinpricked slap." His eyes widened, realizing what he had just said. He covered his mouth with a fist, regretting the analogy less than a second after it had left his mouth.

Ward closed his eyes, as images of the bruises ran through his mind. They had sexually assaulted her with these drugs in her system…He stopped his thought process, not being able to handle the rage and hate that were building up inside of him. He needed to stay focused if he was going to help her. They would make them pay, of that there was no doubt.

"There is one drug component that we couldn't figure out," Simmons continued, not wanting to focus on the last statement and what it meant. She highlighted the lab results. "Its not anything that we've seen before. And I don't know its effects."

"So we go to the facility and get a sample before we blow the rest of the buildings," Ward stated in a determined voice. The team began to move away from the table till they heard Simmons' apprehensive words.

"There's one more thing. She's possibly going to go through withdrawal and with the high concentrations in her system…" Simmons paused trying to find the right words. "there's a chance that it's going to get rough."

"How rough are we talking here?" Coulson asked, before turning back to face the scientist and crossing his arms.

"I might need to give her a few small doses of the hallucinogens so that she doesn't crash. Withdrawing it really fast could result in too much stress that her body can't handle," Simmons regrettably stated. "She could possibly have seizures or respiratory distress. I can't say exactly how she's going to react to the withdrawal, especially with the unknown component."

Placing his hands on the table, "So we're giving her the same crap that they gave her?" Ward asked the scientist, more than annoyed at the situation. They just couldn't catch a break.

Coulson couldn't help but notice the small step that Fitz took towards his lab partner. "I would like to reiterate that I don't know how her body will react. We can see how she does and give it on a sliding scale. She'll be in a lot of pain and discomfort if we don't, Ward." Simmons explained, dreading the time they would find out the reaction.

Coulson nodded. "We set another trip to the facility and see if we can find out what that last component is. May and I will go."

"Sir," Ward jumped in after hearing that he wasn't going.

"She needs her SO here, Agent Ward. If you haven't noticed, she's scared of all of us, with you being the least terrifying." Coulson explained, beginning to lose his patience as his frustrations kicked in. Ward wisely remained silent.

"Do we know how long this blizzard is expected to last?" Coulson turned his attention from the younger agents to the screens.

"A day or two, tops," Fitz jumped in as he brought the weather patterns that he had studied earlier that day.

"Ok. Lets look at the schematics and get that sample from the facility." Coulson stated to his second in command. "Simmons, keep us updated on any changes and see if you and Fitz can find anything else out about that last component. Ward stay with Skye, just in case."

"Yes sir. She should be out for at least a few hours with what I gave her," the scientist replied.

Coulson merely nodded in reply before everyone went to their delegated tasks.

AN: Please review and tell me your thoughts! Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5 Lost

AN: Sorry for the short chapter, but felt that the info is needed. The intensity will go back up in the next few chapters. Thank you again for reviewing and sharing your thoughts! I love hearing your guys' opinions and knowing that this story is on the right track!

PS: I hate coming up with chapter titles…Do people read them or find them significant?

**Chapter 5 Lost**

"Sir," the older soldier addressed Mac.

"What the hell caused that explosion?!" Mac angrily asked as he paced towards the calm idiot who claimed to be the chief of security.

"As far as we can tell, it was C4. But all of the security footages are clear. We're having the techs look into it and as we speak, my men are running an inventory," the soldier replied, undeterred by the angry tone.

Mac froze. This was no accident. Someone did this on purpose. He walked past the soldier that had been assigned security detail, heading to the place that held the purpose of this whole facility. His pace increased as he got closer. "Hello pet," he stated, as he opened the door to the windowless room and turned the lights on. The smile vanished from his face.

Mac turned to the soldier that had followed him, "Where the hell is she?!"

"We didn't even know she was gone. There was nothing on the security footage," the soldier replied, getting a little nervous.

"FIND HER!" Mac shouted before rushing back to his office.

Grabbing his laptop, Mac paced as he waited for the video call to go through. "She's gone!"

"What?!" the man on the other end replied. "How could you lose her!" he stated more than asked.

"You're pinning this on me! _You _specifically told me that I would have 9 months and guaranteed that SHIELD would not be a problem. They blew up an entire building," Mac replied, pissed off that his experiment wouldn't come to a completion.

"SHIELD has been called off. Our inside man convinced them to call off the search after the first month."

"Tell that to the empty cell!" Mac angrily shouted. He'd lost his property.

"How far along was she?" the man replied, having regained his calm posture.

"Her attachments to the team are broken, but it can still be undone. We had her set in a routine in order to reinforce her body's automatic reactions to each member. We even managed to get a few rescue simulations in, nothing that lasted more than 5 days." Mac was getting irritated at the lack of a response, so he continued, trying to make the other man understand. "The last 2 months were going to be spent adding variances so that she would be trained to react the same, no matter what the circumstances," the man remained silent after the explanation.

"Don't you get it?" Mac asked, annoyed. "She will begin to question what she saw here if the team has too long of a time period with her and they deviate her from the routine. And I can guarantee you that what we did to her here, there is no way that her team will come close to doing."

The man simply nodded. "We still have contacts in SHIELD. For now clear out the facility as SHIELD will now be able to find it. With the blizzard, it should slow them down. We'll handle getting you back your project." He hung up, not waiting for a reply.

*******AoS*******

Ward was lost in his train of thought. He looked down at his watch and realized that 9 hours had already passed, and Skye hadn't so much as moved. Whatever drugs Simmons had given her were working. The team members had stopped by in between their tasks, each needing to reaffirm for themselves that they really had her back. Simmons stopped by every few hours, replacing the fluids and ice pack.

He felt like he had jinxed it when he saw her begin to thrash around in the heaves of a nightmare, before quickly sitting up. She looked around, realizing really quickly that she was on a bed. As far as Ward could tell, that realization only terrified her as she began scooting backwards towards the edge. Ward only had a few seconds to react as he caught her before she fell off. Her entire body was shaking. As soon as he had made contact, she completely froze in her movements, closing her eyes tightly and prepping herself for what was to come.

Ward gently placed her on the ground, easily seeing that the bed was not a place she wanted to be. As soon as he had let go, his rookie quickly crawled away to the corner next to her little dresser before pulling her knees to her chest.

"You're safe Skye," he reassured gently, his hands held up in the air, trying to convey that he was not a threat. He undid the tubing from the oxygen tank, untangling it before plugging it back in. "Simmons says your oxygen levels are starting to go up. Pretty soon you can be off of this thing," he explained in a calm voice, thankful that the IV hadn't been pulled out. The analyst didn't move her gaze from the floor.

He helplessly watched her shaking form, before calling Simmons up. Skye flinched when the scientist ran the thermometer over her head. "39 C. She's got a fever. The with-drawl effects are kicking in. It could be worse…" Simmons mumbled to herself. "Skye, you're going through with-drawls from whatever drug they were giving you. To counter those, I have to give you a small dosage."

Skye closed her eyes and bit her lip, knowing that there wasn't anything that she could do about it. They always got their way, no matter how hard she fought. And currently, her ribs and aching body were begging her to not fight. She simply stuck her arm out, making the IV accessible.

Ward and Simmons shared a surprised look, before Simmons pulled out two syringes. "I also brought some pain killers as I imagine your ribs are starting to act up again. They have a little Tylenol in them to help with the fever," Jemma explained.

She pushed the drugs through slowly as Skye rested her forehead on her knees, looking like the picture of defeat itself. Once she had finished, Ward grabbed the blanket from the bed and gently draped it over his still shivering rookie. Skye's head shot up in surprise when she felt the blanket. She remained tense till he took a few steps back and pushed his chair out of the way, sitting on the ground.

Skye stared at his feet as she rested her head against the wall, feeling the effects of the drugs. This was the most that they had let her sleep. Her anxiety began to rise as she thought of the break that they were giving her, and what would follow. The analyst had to admit, they had really outdone themselves on the rescue. It almost seemed real. Her eyes began to feel heavy and she gave in to the beckoning darkness, too tired to fight it. _It could be a lot worse_, was her final conscious thought.

AN: Thank you so much for reading! Please review and let me know your thoughts!


	6. Chapter 6 Finding Unwanted Clues

**AN:** Thank you for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites! They really made my day and help motivate the writing process! And because the other chapter was a bit short, here is another update :) Please see the end author note as I need your opinion on the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!

*This has not been beta'd. Any mistakes are mine, so I apologize ahead of time.

**Chapter 6 Finding Unwanted Clues**

It had been a day since they had rescued Skye and she had slept for the most part of it. Coulson watched as Ward and Simmons walked out of Skye's bunk. It pained him to know that she couldn't stand to be anywhere near him, more so than her reactions to the others. During one of her lucid moments, he had simply stood in the doorway, talking to her SO who was sitting on the ground when she had woken up. As soon as she had seen him, the young girl tried to scoot away, desperately pushing her back against the wall, before realization hit that she had nowhere to go. He gently had told her that he wasn't going to hurt her, but the analyst simply remained frozen, her respirations increasing. Coulson had walked away, with Wards reassurances that she was safe, following him.

Coulson shook his head at the memory, trying to dislodge her fear stricken face. "How's she doing?" the older agent asked the scientist once she had walked up to him.

"I did a few more blood draws while she was sleeping. The drug levels in her blood are dropping at a pretty steady rate and we haven't encountered any severe withdrawal effects. So I would say, overall good," Simmons stopped.

"But," Coulson continued for her.

Simmons looked a little surprised that he had caught her hesitation before continuing, "It's just its not normal to not go through withdrawal effects. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy she hasn't experienced the severe effects, but it just makes me wonder if its that last component that we can't figure out or simply her bodies own response," she explained.

"In simple terms?" Ward asked, trying to understand where she was headed.

"Its like a smoker. The body normally produces nicotine, but when a person takes supplements or smokes," Jemma began, turning her attention to Ward.

"The body stops producing it because there is another source. So when a smoker quits," Fitz continued, understanding where his partner was going.

"They have a craving for nicotine till their body begins producing it again after it realizes that there is no supplemental source," Simmons finished, neither of them missing a beat.

"I get it. You know it's really creepy when you two do that, right?" Ward stated, after following the conversation as it jumped back and forth.

The science twins, as Skye would refer to them, simply shrugged.

Coulson nodded, keeping his facial expression neutral. Turning the conversation back, "So we go in, grab a sample, and see if we can find anything else that will help us figure out what happened," Coulson summarized after the team had reviewed the best plan of entry.

"I've created this," Fitz stated, holding up a flash drive. "Its not as good as Skye's but it should be able to hack their system and pull up any information with moderate protection," the team looked at Fitz, a little surprised. "Skye taught me the basics," Fitz offered in explanation with a slight shrug.

"Good," Coulson stated, taking the small object.

"The satellites are unable to detect the activity through the storm. You'll be on your own out there," Ward added.

The two older agents nodded, before gearing up and heading out.

May and Coulson rode the snowmobiles to the facility, unable to drive in with the acclimation of the new snow. Staying on the out squirts, it didn't take long to see the lack of security. This only put the two agents on edge considering less than 28 hours ago, they had had guards patrolling the perimeters.

"It looks abandoned," May stated, removing her heat vision goggles and handing them to Coulson.

"Let's get a closer look," Coulson replied, getting on the snowmobile and leading the way.

She was right, the building was completely abandoned. They checked corridor by corridor, starting with the building Skye had been found in. "Someone left in a rush," May observed, nudging an empty can with her boot.

"May," Coulson shouted from a few rooms down. "You're going to want to see this!"

May followed Coulson's voice, not expecting what she saw. "Oh my God…." She replied, slightly caught off guard as she walked in. "Its…."

"An exact replica of the BUS's med bay lab," Coulson finished for her. They shared a glance, before dividing up and searching the fridges and cabinets. They came up with nothing. Everything had been removed. "Lets keep looking," Coulson added, as they continued searching each room, finding a few rooms that left little to the imagination of what they had done to the analyst. Coulson swallowed down the bile as May tightened the grip on her gun, the only outside signal that she was pissed.

The duo continued their search till they came upon a room with a few monitors. Coulson immediately turned the power on, but it looked like the desktop had been wiped clean. Never the less, Coulson plugged in the flash drive Fitz had worked on, not wanting to go back completely empty handed. The flash drive's red light began to blink. The two agents looked at one another, hoping that whatever was on the file's would be useful. They waited till the light turned a solid green before securing the drive and heading out.

*******AoS*******

"What did you find?" Ward greeted the two older agents.

"Nothing," May replied in a straight voice. "They had already evacuated."

"You didn't find anything?" Simmons repeated, worried she wouldn't be able to figure out what they had given Skye.

Coulson shook his head sadly. "The desktops were wiped clean, but your flash drive seemed to have picked up something. Let us know as soon as you find anything," he finished as he pulled the drive and handed it to Fitz.

"I'll get working on this." Fitz stated, taking the drive.

"She's sleeping," Simmons explained when Coulson looked at her expectantly.

"Did you find anything else?" Ward asked, eager for any other information.

Coulson and May shared a knowing look before focusing on the team members staring at them expectantly. "They had exact replicas of the rooms on the BUS, with minor….adjustments," Coulson stated.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Fitz asked hesitantly, but having a hard time processing the simple information after everything that they had been through.

"They had an exact replica of the med bay but with restraints on the table," Coulson threw the example that had been nagging at him. He knew that none of them had known, but that fact didn't help to dissipate the guilt of putting her through that.

Simmons immediately covered her mouth, guilt eating her up at having forced Skye to sit in that room.

"It explains her reactions," Ward stated in a somewhat defeated tone. _And I kept putting her on that damned table._

"None of us knew," May stated after glancing at each members face. They could not let their guilt cripple them to a point of not being able to help the analyst. She wouldn't let them.

"We have a long road ahead," Coulson finished before walking away.

**AN:** I need help. Do you guys want **A)** a scene with Skye and the team or do you want **B)** to jump onto what's on that flash drive? If we get the flash drive chapters (yes plural) over with, we can possibly move on to Skye's healing and interactions with the team. With that said, there is a slight intense part on the flash drive, nothing to crazy and detailed…at least I think.

Please let me know what you think as I've been contemplating it and figured I'd just ask.


	7. Chapter 7 Long Road Ahead

AN: WOW! I'm truly humbled by all of the reviews and responses! Thank you so much! To think, I almost didn't post this story as I had the idea before Ward went all dark side (I still think he has hope, as some amazing writers on here have demonstrated).

To all of you who like this story, it would not have made it this far without a certain friend. Here is a shout out to Karan who has been there since the beginning, kept encouraging me to write, and helped me through some tough decisions. You Rock!

Thank you to all who voted or gave me their opinion! It really helped! Majority landed on B, but with 25 reviews for one chapter (I'm still shocked), I couldn't help but to add a little extra and make it longer. Sorry it's not a team scene of hope, I really tried, but it wouldn't cooperate. Instead you get into Skye's thoughts…I'm not too happy with it, but I hope it's realistic enough. Yes there will be hope…after another chapter….bear with me please.

WARNING: flash drive has a tiny scene that might be considered slightly intense.

**Chapter 7 Long Road Ahead**

"You're vitals are doing a lot better," Jemma stated, removing the blood pressure cuff from Skye's arm. "And now we can take the oxygen off," the young scientist continued with a smile, reaching forward to grab the nasal cannula. She couldn't help but notice Skye flinch and hold her breath as Jemma got closer. What the scientist found odd was Skye didn't pull away, merely tensed. Jemma's smile faltered as she admitted to herself that they were a long way from figuring out how to help their friend.

Skye rested her head against the wall, closing her eyes slightly. They seemed to leave her alone when she slept. The analyst was shocked that it worked and was able to let the breath she'd been holding free once Simmons stepped away.

Even with her space away from everyone, she felt the anxiety; the looming feeling that her chest was going to keep tightening as she gasped for air that was nonexistent. Her thoughts began to take over and she almost missed having the scientist there as a distraction from herself.

She couldn't do this again. She knew for a fact that she couldn't do this again.

She couldn't do the rescue, the believing that it was them, only for them to turn on her. The last time they had 'rescued' her, there wasn't much variance from this time. She had ended up in her old bunk; a place she had begun to question as ever existing, because in this hell, was there really such a place that she had once called her own?

The agent part of her was begging her to not go along with it, to hold out longer till they couldn't carry on the charade, but then what? Would she wait for her real team that at this point, she wasn't sure existed, to rescue her?

Her team wouldn't want her. If they existed, she hesitantly corrected herself, they wouldn't want her. She herself had come to loath the weak timid lap dog that the facility had turned her into. What SO would be proud of that? What team would want to be associated with that?

Heck, she'd freaked out at the mention of a shower, had even broken their rule and talked out of turn, as they would call it.

She scoffed quietly as she pathetically admitted to herself that she hadn't talked at all. More like begged. Because begging worked on rare occasions. What was worse, this was what a part of her was fighting to maintain. This…this life, if you could even call it that.

Skye dug her fingernails into her palm, enjoying the pricks that allowed her to focus on the physical pain rather than the mental. This was it, she decided.

The trained agent in her fought, reminding her that the last time they had managed to act it all out for more than a few days before they finally lost their patience with her. Skye was too tired to fully listen. A desperate part of her kept going back to the fact that this Ward knew. He knew the blink signal and the exact timing that she had forced the real Ward to agree to, what felt like an eternity ago in another reality.

_You're drugged up! How do you know that your subconscious isn't playing tricks on you? _Her other side desperately countered.

It didn't matter. None of it mattered. This was it. She was going to try one last time. A part of her hoped that it wouldn't last long. That the charade would be up quickly so she could move on, and yet a larger part was desperate for the whole thing to last a while. Even if it wasn't real, she missed the normal contact and interactions that didn't result with her in pain. She would give in, act like a perfect little pet, if it would make this last just a little longer. Skye sighed, feeling guilty at her decision. She was giving up and rolling with the punches one last time.

The analyst cringed at the metaphor, finding it very unfitting and unrealistic. Her thoughts focused again, as she felt a different kind of guilt wash over her. The guilt at denying the memories and ties that she had formed with her former team as ever existing; the guilt that accompanied the thought of how disappointed _her_ team would be if they knew that she wasn't strong enough to stop any of this; the guilt that she had quit. Maybe they would see her point of view… Too tired to fight off the inevitable, she let the oncoming memories of where this all had started consume her as she tried to figure out if her team would understand at all.

*******AoS*******

Fitz headed to Coulson's office where he found May and the owner of the office. "Sir, I decrypted the flash drive and I think I found something, possibly some security footage they didn't completely delete if I were to guess based on the file name, which…" Fitz stopped talking once he looked up from the drive in his hands to see the two agents staring at him, giving Coulson room to direct the conversation.

"Good, lets get everyone else. Hopefully it can give us a clue as to what happened there." Coulson replied, already standing up and heading towards the door.

Ward met the rest of the team around the monitors after checking on his rookie who was fast asleep. Once everyone was there, Fitz played the footage.

The video overtook the screen, focusing on a dark looking cell, with the only lighting coming from a small barred window. It took a little effort to make out the huddled form of a burnet that they all knew so well, sitting in the corner with only a shirt and underwear on in the middle of a Russian winter. The team tried to ignore the bruising that was oh so evident.

Simmons immediately leaned her shoulder against Fitz, already needing the support of her best friend.

"Come on guys…it's been…four weeks…I think… A rescue would…be fantastic right about now," they heard Skye say very quietly, teeth chattering as her body tried to keep what little warmth it had left.

Not long after, the door swung open and two camo dressed men walked in. Skye immediately stood up, cradling her left arm that seemed to be dislocated. She was not going to make this easy for them.

"Four weeks and she's still got a little spunk in her. You know, I like it when they fight back," the first guard snarled, a menacing smile on his face. He turned his attention to his comrade, "Think the boss man will let her sleep over tonight?"

Ward felt himself tightening his fists, nails digging into his palm. If he could get his hands on any of these guys…

"Lets get this over with," the other guard simply replied. "We're on a strict timetable."

The guards advanced towards Skye, who managed to get a good head butt in before being pinned to the ground. The one she assaulted raised his arm, ready for pay back before the second guard stopped him. "He wants her conscious."

"You got lucky this time," He berated. "But at least you learned something. It only took you four weeks to figure out that talking wasn't to your benefit. A few more weeks and we'll have you dancing like a puppet," he continued, pulling out a syringe.

As soon as she saw the syringe, she tried to fight back once again, but didn't stand a chance before the needle went into her arm. Skye did her best to hold the scream in at the burning pain as she felt the drug crawl through her veins. A few seconds passed before a pop could be heard as the first guard put her shoulder back into place. She couldn't help the little grunt that left her mouth.

The first guard smiled, "did I tell you that you were allowed to make any noise?" he asked before his fist began connecting with her already bruised ribs. Skye immediately bit her lip, trying to contain the pain as she lost track of the number of punches she took. As soon as they released her, she slowly crawled back over to her corner, shielding her vital organs. The guards walked out laughing.

It was depressing. It had only taken them four weeks to get her to shut up. How proud would her SO be, she thought to herself. Her body had begged her to keep her mouth shut after the first three weeks. It couldn't handle the price of a hit for a sound. She needed to stay alive till they came to get her.

The screen stayed the same, with nothing happening. Fitz began slowly forwarding it with his free hand, his other arm wrapped around the scientist who was clutching to it. The rest of the agents remained tense, each thinking of different ways to end the guards' lives.

All of a sudden they heard a voice on the screen, "Skye, its Coulson. I'm coming in!", and yet it didn't sound like Coulson.

The real Coulson tensed up, wondering if they would see why she was so afraid of him. 98% of him knew that he didn't want to know what caused that fear in her eyes, but he needed to know in order to fix and undo it.

The new guard walked in. "Oh my god, Coulson!" Skye exclaimed, getting up and using the wall to move towards the man that looked nothing like Coulson.

"Please, we have to get out of here!" She begged in a voice that was on the verge of cracking.

The guard merely looked around, no sense of urgency.

"Please they'll be back soon. We have to go!" Skye begged again, pulling on his arm.

"Oh Skye, they just want to have a little fun. There's nothing wrong with that," the guard replied.

Skye let go of his arm, taking a step back and shaking her head as confusion washed over her face, "Wait, what?"

"I said there's nothing wrong with having a little fun," the guard stated, walking slowly towards her.

"Coulson?" her voice sounded so weak and unsure.

Coulson felt his chest tighten painfully, hearing her scared voice and knowing that she thought he would leave her with those men.

"You really think that we would want to keep you around? Not one single foster family wanted you. And the only common denominator is you. And now," he paused in his speech but continued to advance towards the analyst. "Now you're used up. You think anyone would want you?" his voice turned into a harsh whisper.

Skye's back hit the wall, one arm cradling her broken ribs. She closed her eyes a few times, trying to make sense of what was happening, but he was there every time. "You're not real…" she said unsure.

The guard lunged at the girl before slamming her front against the wall, "the realities you construct to make you feel better about the fact that you're not wanted," he whispered in her ear, "it's pathetic really."

"You're not Coulson," Skye stated with a little more confidence, trying to shove him off of her back, but having no luck.

"You sure about that?" he whispered. "What do you say we have a little fun?"

"You're not real, you're not real, you're not real…" Skye closed her eyes tightly, repeating the mantra over and over again, as his hand went under shirt.

"Turn it Off! Now!" Coulson exclaimed at Fitz, already knowing where this was going.

Fitz jumped on the controls turning the whole screen off.

Coulson turned away from the group, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Coulson," May tried, taking a step towards the agent.

The leader didn't reply as he began walking towards his office, picking up a glass from the counter and throwing it against the wall before walking off.

The team merely watched, unsure of how to proceed. Simmons wiped at her eyes, trying not to have a melt down in front of everyone.

Ward walked to his rookies bunk to find her still asleep before he headed to the closet to grab a broom and pan. He knew that once he was done, he had a date with the punching bag. He had to get some of his rage out, or at least try.

"Fitz?" The scientist just stared at the black screen. "Fitz!" May stated with a little more emphasis before the scientist turned his attention to her. "Was there anything else on the drive?" May asked.

He simply shook his head. "I…I think they just missed deleting that clip permanently as I found it in their garbage can in fragments," he stuttered out.

May nodded. "I need you to put it somewhere safe. I don't want Skye finding it," she instructed, trying to get the scientists to focus on something else. The two nodded before walking off together, both silent. She needed to check on Coulson. _A long road indeed._

**AN:** Soooo I haven't really decided what will happen to Mac eventually. If anyone has any suggestions for when that time comes, please let me know. I do have a hard time with the idea of torture happening by the good guys….

Please review and let me know your thoughts on the chapter! Hope it met some of your expectations!


	8. Chapter 8 The Good in the Bad

_**AN: **Thank you for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows! And a personal thank you to VivaGrazia for a great catch on an important detail! TrooperCam: If I can't come up with a solution for Mac, I'm definitely coming to you for ideas :)_

_I know the last chapter was a little intense, I even cringed a little while writing it as I absolutely love the familial relationship between Coulson and Skye and hope I can do it justice when the time comes. We'll get there, I promise, just bear with me a little longer._

_Sorry for the vague AN at the end, but I'm writing this story with you guys in mind and I want to make sure that you would be interested with the path, so opinions would be appreciated._

_*****This story has not been beta'd so I apologize for any mistakes, as they are all mine. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 8 The Good in the Bad **

Coulson couldn't help but thinking about the first few weeks when Skye had joined the team. She'd thanked him for letting her be a part of something. His memory then went to the time that he had found the file on the agent that had dropped her off at the orphanage. He had been so disappointed at the lack of information that he had gotten, wanting to give the analyst one small thing. Coulson had walked dejectedly to her bunk, prepping himself for the disappointed look. It was to his surprise when she had wrapped her arms around him, even thanking him. She had never seized to surprise him in how she took information and how she carried herself. He was truly proud of who she had become.

Oh what he would give to go back to those days. To the days where she wasn't tortured, where her innocence hadn't been taken away. A place where she trusted her team, where she trusted him; but instead they had taken his image and…Coulson's thoughts were interrupted by the knock that didn't wait for permission before walking in. He didn't have to look up from his drink to know who it was.

Walking to the chair across the desk, May took a seat and remained silent. "No wonder she's scared of me," Coulson finally stated, his gaze still on the glass cradled in his hands. "She's disgusted by me… I'm disgusted by me and I wasn't even there," he finished, taking a big gulp.

May raised an eyebrow at the man sitting in front of her. "Really?" She waited till he looked up. "That's all you're focusing on?" Coulson looked a little confused.

May knew that she needed to guide him as he tended to follow his 'heart' a little more and his brain was currently on hiatus, dealing with the emotions. "We got her back. She knew it wasn't you."

"I understand, but don't you see? " Coulson interrupted, his frustrations rising. He got up and began pacing. "That was only week 4 May! Week 4, and she was there for over 7 months! Week 4 and she was already unsure of whether that was me! Me, doing… that!"

May watched, knowing he wasn't finished. "She doesn't deserve this! She's already been through enough, and it took us over 7 months to find her. She was with them for 7 months May! 7 months with those…those…" Coulson gestured in the air in the direction of the monitors that they had watched before letting out a sigh of defeat, hands back to his sides.

"You finished?" May stated, not having moved from her seat other than tracking the pacing man. Coulson stared at his second in command. Most people would call her heartless or emotionless. Him, well he just appreciated that he could rely on her to pull him back. So he waited.

"We've learned a lot. They had exact replicas of the rooms that Skye had begun to see on a daily basis. The drugs alter her perception and make her mind more perceptible to suggestions, hence thinking it was you, when it looked and sounded nothing like you. But what did she focus on?"

"The actions," Coulson stated, walking over to his desk and leaning back against it.

"They obviously wanted her to fear this place…fear us," May concluded.

"And we don't even know the purpose behind this whole thing. No way was this random." The two agents paused, both thinking about the time that they uncovered pieces of Skye's past. The senior agents had shared the information with the lower level agents, wanting to make sure that no stone was left unturned as the search had begun to get longer, with no luck of finding the analyst.

"We're all she has," Coulson added quietly, reminded of the fact that those bastards had been working on destroying those ties. Currently, it felt like they had succeeded.

"We'll figure it out as we go along. Right now we have her back," May quickly interjected, wanting Coulson to not dwell on the negatives.

Coulson looked up, noticing when May was nudging him along. "We give her as much time as she needs, _show_ her she's safe," Coulson concluded, crossing his arms. He wasn't going to give up on her, not by a long shot.

Once she saw the determined look, May got up and walked out, hearing Coulson's, "You always know just what to say," as she stepped out the door. He needed some time alone and she needed a drink and to make sure that the rest of the video on the flash drive didn't contain anything else.

*******AoS********

After spending another half an hour in his office, the team leader knew he had to check up on the rest of the members. Once Coulson had calmed down, he walked over to the bar where May was already pouring him a shot. Downing the drink, they headed to the med lab where they found Ward in the hangar, blindly pounding the punching bag. Seeing the duo walk down the stairs, the specialist gave one final punch before unwrapping his hands while heading to the common area.

Coulson noticed that one of the screens had been focused on a sleeping Skye. Considering they didn't have security footage in the bunks, he assumed Fitz was using one of the dwarves. Fitzsimmons wordlessly joined the team around the screens. Everyone remained silent, looking lost as to what to say after what they had seen. Simmons looked like she was about to fall apart with Fitz standing less than a foot away, casting worried glances at his friend. And Ward…Coulson looked over to the young specialist. Ward looked like he was barely holding still as his muscles twitched. The punching bag hadn't done its job it seemed. Not that he had expected it to.

"We got a glimpse into what she has been through and with what May and I found," Coulson paused, catching a quick glance from May before continuing, "we can only guess at their intentions."

The team remained silent. "They were obviously working on severing the ties that Skye has with us," Coulson stopped, having a hard time bringing himself to talk about the footage.

May recognized the increased tension in Coulson and jumped in "There was nothing else that was relevant on the video. From what we saw in the footage, she was able to recognize that the actions weren't normal and therefore real."

"The drugs they gave her only change her perception, they don't affect her memories," Jemma explained to the team. "Well except….if you experience something long enough," the British scientist continued, before Fitz finished her sentence. "You begin to question reality."

Coulson nodded, grateful that everyone was on the same page. "What we know so far is that Skye was taken while visiting her van on a SHIELD Base. And whoever did it, covered their tracks exceptionally well. We can't even verify if it was a SHIELD agent, which means we need to exercise more caution," Coulson explained as he began pulling up the files of their search. Files that didn't contain nearly as much information as the team had hoped, but it had been good enough to get them here.

"Which is why we'll be running an upgrade on security. We do have to let Fury know that we found Skye," May continued.

"The facility obviously knows that she's missing and if they want her back, having SHIELD as backup is not a bad idea," Ward jumped in, contributing his thoughts on the matter.

"We also know that Skye is an 0-8-4, but don't know what that even means," Fitz added. Him and Simmons had been shocked, their mouths gaped when May and Coulson had delivered the news to the rest of the team. Ward had simply asked if they had thought that that was the reason behind her disappearance.

"The only lead that we currently have is running those faces from the footage through the facial recognition software," Coulson brought the teams focus back to the present information.

"I can do that once we get to a place with a little more access to the outside world," Fitz interjected, happy to help.

"Shouldn't take too long. We should be flying over Moscow in the next few hours, and be back over our territory in 12 hours," the pilot updated the team on the flight plan.

It was at times like these that Coulson was truly grateful for his team and how well they worked off of each other.

"Sounds like a plan. At no point do I want Skye to run into this information. For now, we let her focus on healing while we keep chasing the trails," Coulson stated, staring at each person of the group as they gave their consenting nods of agreement. "And when we catch whoever is behind this whole thing, there will be hell to pay," he was personally going to make sure of that.

**_AN:_ **_So there is a way for me to make this story longer, you guys will probably hate me as it adds more angst for poor Skye, but the updates might not be as frequent as it involves a little more work. The other option is keep it shorter and let Skye have some peace…a little at least._

_Either choice, you guys **will have some bonding scenes in the next few chapters**, as promised. I'm just trying to plan ahead. Please review and let me know your thoughts! Hope you enjoyed!_


	9. Chapter 9 Beginning Steps

**AN:** Thank you for all of the reviews! They truly make my day! Majority said longer story, with the possibility of longer periods in between updates. We're still a few chapters away from all that fun stuff, so till then, here is the next chapter. Originally this was going to be two chapters, but I did promise a team scene that gives at least a small sense of hope. I hope you like it.

*This story has not been beta'd, so I apologize ahead for any mistakes, as they are all mine.

**Chapter 9 Beginning Steps**

Fury had been informed that Skye had been recovered and at the council's request, had sent a therapist, Dr. Mayson, to determine if the facility had obtained any valuable information from Skye. The therapist had failed to elicit even a word out of the youngest member of the team.

Ward resisted the urge to punch something when he thought about the frustrated therapist. Apparently she had never failed; one of the best she had told them upon her arrival on the plane. Not getting the results she had wanted, she began throwing her theories at Skye of what she thought had happened, forcing Skye into a panic attack. May and Ward had immediately stepped in. The SO had gone to his rookie, reassuring her that she was safe and home while May stood in between her team members and the target, before quietly stating, "You have 30 seconds to get off this plane. After that, there are no guarantees."

It had taken the therapist 3 seconds before the fear had shown on her face once she realized that the Agent standing before her was serious in her threat. Coulson had been pissed when he had found out about the exchange that had taken place. He made sure Fury knew exactly what he thought of SHIELD's therapist.

It had only been a week since the rescue and they had learned a lot of things about the analyst really quickly. Ward cringed as he thought over the triggers they had discovered. He wished there was an easier way of knowing rather than how they had been discovering them. For one thing, she didn't trust anyone on the team and he would go as far as confidently stating, she was scared of all of them. This included himself. Ward knew that the same way they had distorted Coulson's image in that footage, they had distorted his. Anytime he would walk into her room, she would hold her breath, her jaw tense. She only slightly relaxed once he sat on the ground, far away from her. The idea that she thought he would hurt or force her to do anything disgusted him. He couldn't imagine how the team leader felt.

With Coulson being the most frightening of the team, he had kept his distance, but always asked the others how she was doing. At one point while Simmons was escorting Skye back to her bunk as that was the only place she seemed to have a semblance of decreased tension, Coulson had turned the corner, staring at the papers in his hands, and unaware of his surroundings. He immediately looked up when he heard Simmons call his name only to see Skye back up and away from him till her back hit the wall. The older agent had immediately turned around and walked away. May had watched the whole thing before following Coulson to his office. Ward knew that May was the one encouraging Coulson to be patient, helping him to keep the hope that things would change, no matter how painful the present situation seemed.

Ward's thoughts returned to the other triggers they had discovered, as he began to list them. The bed was currently not an option for sleeping, as she preferred the corner. She would not leave the small bunkroom unless someone invited her, this included going to the restroom. Asking her to go to the med bay or shower was like asking if she wanted to go into a panic attack. She would do it of course, because having the option of not following requests had not clicked into her mind yet; but they were determined to show her otherwise. Medications offered by Jemma were taken with a much higher level of apprehension then if Ward were to give them.

Little by little, they accommodated and provided alternate options as much as they could. Ward couldn't blame his rookie for not wanting to take any drugs, especially with the results of what they had given her. Instead, he had asked Simmons for a whole bottle one day. Walking to Skye's bunk with two water bottles in his hand, he sat down on the ground, wanting and needing her to not see him as a threat. Shaking the pill bottle, he gently explained that the pills were just Tylenol as he placed one in the lid and slid it close to her. He then grabbed one for himself; being sure that she saw it, he swallowed the pill.

Skye had been apprehensive when he had first walked in to the room. When she saw the pill bottle, she wondered how many he would make her take and was a little surprised that it wasn't Fitz or Simmons dealing out the drugs. It was always FitzSimmons giving the drugs. She stored away the information in her 'one more thing that is extremely confusing' pile. A pile that she had not yet analyzed or decided what she would do with. Currently, everything they had done so far had seemed genuine, but she was scared to fully take that leap, worried she would fall hard. Instead, Skye focused her attention on the man who sat less than 5 ft away, watching him with fascination and confusion after he had swallowed the pill. She had watched him shake the pills, so he couldn't have picked a placebo for himself. Heck, why even bother showing her that the pill was safe, they hadn't done anything like this after all of the time that she had spent there. Staring at the pill in front of her, she felt a much smaller apprehension as she picked it up and swallowed the pill.

Coulson had told them to focus on their actions, and so they did. Instead of a shower, Jemma offered the analyst towels and a few basins of hot water in her own bunk and left the girl to it. Skye had stared at the offering in front of her, unbelieving that they were actually letting her get cleaned up on her own. She wondered if the pill she had taken with Ward was not causing some sort of a hallucination. She had hesitantly reached to the basin of water, expecting it to be really cold, or some form of acid. She wouldn't put either option past them. Just to be on the safe side, she decided her non-dominant hand was a little safer to experiment on. Sticking a fingertip in, it felt amazing, just like warm water. Skye thought over her options. She would be stupid to not take advantage of this, a shower of her own. She almost felt a little giddy with excitement, till a thought came slamming down. What was the cost? They always made her pay. She sighed as the small moment of excitement slipped away. _Better do it while the water is still warm._

*******AoS*******

The cup slipped from her hands, shattering as it hit the floor. Skye's breathing increased before she knelt down and with shaking hands began picking up the pieces. Ward knelt down gently grabbing her wrists before noticing the blood. "I'm sorry, I'll be good. I promise, it was an accident. I'm sorry," she stated rapidly, flinching at the contact as she waited for the pain that followed as a consequence to her messing up. Her SO gently guided her up and away from the mess while reassuring her that it was ok. Coulson nodded at him as he grabbed paper towels. Grant lead her to the couch where she became silent, but he could feel the tension as she was still trembling. He couldn't help but notice just how small she looked.

He sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of her before he let go of her hands, not wanting to force her into contact that she didn't want. Simmons brought the first aid kit, handing it to Ward, while Fitz and Coulson silently cleaned the broken cup. "Your hand is bleeding. I want to clean it up and bandage it. Is that okay?" He held his hand out, making sure it was within her line of sight, and waited patiently.

It made him cringe when he heard her faint whisper, "I'll be good, please. I'm sorry." He wanted to light those bastards and watch them burn slowly for what they had done to the spunky, smart alec girl he knew.

"It was an accident Skye. Its ok. I promise, we won't hurt you. I just want to clean it up." He left his hand out and waited for her to initiate the contact. Minutes passed by before she hesitantly reached her bleeding hand out, pausing and cringing when her fingertips made contact with his. Ward remained still, wanting to give her as much control as he could. He finally let out the breath that he had been holding when she slowly turned her hand up and placed it lightly in his. He cleaned it silently, before bandaging it up. "As good as new," he finished. She pulled her hand back and curled up with her knees to her chest as she inspected the bandage before carefully watching Ward organize the supplies.

Putting the kit away, Ward joined Skye on the couch leaving a couple of inches between them. "Whose ready for movie night?" Coulson stated as he popped the DVD in. Fury had given them the month off after hearing they had recovered the analyst, promising only light assignments if they were needed.

FitzSimmons came in with blankets, joining the others on the couch. "Who chose the movie?" May casually asked as she set a new cup of tea on the table in front of Skye before plopping down on the couch.

"That would be me!" Fitz leaned forward with his hand raised and a proud smile on his face.

"Oh man, please tell me its not another monkey movie!" Ward complained, making himself comfortable on the couch as he took the blankets Simmons handed him. He opened one and draped it over Skye, being sure to not make contact.

"Monkeys are cute and very intelligent, I'll have you know. Can you imagine if I got one," he continued with a wistful look on his face. "He could help us in the lab Simmons. Can you picture it?" Fitz turned towards his lab partner.

"You are impossible Fitz. What would a monkey do on a plane? I don't think he would be very happy." Simmons countered.

"Are you guys really discussing this?" Ward jumped in, worried that Fitz might actually convince Simmons. After all, monkeys were pretty cute.

Coulson and May shared a little smile as they watched the interaction, mainly watching Skye begin to relax as she listened to the conversation.

"Coulson, tell him he can't have a monkey." Ward knew he was acting childish, but this was the first time that they had gathered all together since rescuing Skye, and they could all use a little lighthearted childish moment.

Coulson just shook his head and sighed, "Fitz you can't have a monkey. Fury would kills us…..and he already told me no." May raised a _you actually asked Fury_ eyebrow at Coulson, who shrugged in response. "Monkeys are kind of cute," he defended his reasoning. The specialist drank her tea as she hid the smile after the admission. He dimmed the lights before he headed over and sat next to May, making sure that the path he took stayed away from Skye. The analyst tensed whenever the team leader was anywhere in her vicinity.

Ward felt Skye lean slightly towards him when the lights dimmed. He couldn't help the small smile. This was definitely a step in the right direction, even if the movie was Mighty Joe Young, to which Fitz argued the technicalities of it not being a monkey per se.

**AN: **So I've been studying Pharmacology for the last 11 hours for my licensure exam. Please, oh please, review and give me something else to read other than this textbook…I'm beginning to think I need some happy pills. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	10. Chapter 10 Progress

**AN: **Thank you so much for all of the reviews and encouragement! They are much appreciated! My state license test finally got scheduled and I'm not going to lie, I'm using your reviews as rewards to study as 8hr/day study sessions can be tedious haha. It's sad but it works :)

I'll try and stay up with the chapter updates as I have some of the ideas written out. Sorry some of these will be short for now, but I hope they make up with the quality.

For those who asked for May, Jemma, and Coulson bonding scenes, I promise they're coming but I just don't' think Skye is there yet and I'm trying to make this somewhat realistic. Be patient with me, we are almost there :) Yay for team bonding! On with the story, and thank you again for reading!

*All mistakes are my own. Please feel free to let me know if you find anything.

**Chapter 10 Progress**

He couldn't help but toss and turn. His body was beyond exhausted but his mind would just not follow its lead. He got up and headed towards the kitchen to grab some water. Ward gave up convincing himself to give her some space. Staying quiet, he walked to the open bunk, telling himself that he would only get a quick peak to make sure she was ok.

It had been less than two weeks since she had been back, and things were progressing. Two days ago, he had caught her just staring at her bed. When he knocked with the offering of lunch in one hand, she had jumped away, taking a step back towards her corner before she stopped herself and instead decided to watch him.

Well technically she watched his shoes as she refused to look higher than that. He had caught her once, watching Fitz play with the toaster. Knowing he had seen her, she had immediately flinched before returning her gaze to the floor, her muscles screaming tension. She waited for the penalty of breaking some unsaid rule and he waited for her to realize that the rule was nonexistent.

After he had placed her lunch down, Ward had sat down at his usual place. Skye had slightly hesitated before slowly moving closer to him and sitting less than two feet away. That was three feet closer than what he had begun to consider as her standard. It was progress; progress that he would happily accept.

He carefully grabbed her plate off of the tray and slid it towards his rookie before grabbing his own sandwich and staring at the wall ahead. The analyst watched him before reaching hesitantly for her sandwich. She had taken one small nibble, before placing the sandwich down and resting her fingers on the edge of the plate, contemplating her next move. With no response from the man that was sitting an arms length away, she had slid the plate away from her and waited.

She reminded him of a child, testing the boundaries little by little, seeing how far they could go before they were reprimanded. And yet, he couldn't stand the idea that she thought she would be reprimanded in her own home. But that was it, wasn't it? She didn't fully believe that this was home. They were still working on convincing her of that one.

For one thing, they had completely cut back on all the medications, except the mild painkillers for her ribs and lacerations, which were healing nicely. They had offered her stronger pain meds, giving her the option of taking them, and she had simply taken the pill that looked exactly like the one that she had seen Ward swallow, leaving the others in the lid. Simmons was still baffled by the fact that Skye didn't experience any withdrawal effects, the scientist in her frustrated with the lack of information and understanding. As her friend, Jemma was grateful for that fact, as she finally accepted that Skye was stable and removed the IV once her hydration status improved.

Ward focused on the present situation, almost feeling like a stalker, before he easily convinced himself that he just wanted to make sure that she was ok. He wasn't surprised to see her bed untouched. Turning his attention to the corner that she had made her own, Ward found his rookie huddled next to the dresser, rocking back and forth. He immediately turned the lights on.

Walking over, he knelt in front of her, "Hey Skye, it's Grant." Her breathing was rapid and shallow, her eyes glazed over, not seeing what was right in front of her. "I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe Skye, I promise." He stated as he held his hand out and waited for her to initiate contact.

On one end, he was worried that she was too far in her panic attack to recognize that he was even here and wanted to reach out and pull her back. But on the other hand, he knew that contact could make the panic attack worse and she was already cornered. Unsure of how to proceed, he decided to give her a little time, making sure that his hand was within her peripheral vision.

This was a whole new world for Grant Ward. There was a reason that Agent Hill had marked him so low on his people skills, a reason that people called him a robot, a reason that they had referred to him as the one man specialist. He felt incompetent at this point, his chest aching at the lack of progress as he watched her, knowing she was trapped in her own hell and he wasn't succeeding in pulling her back. But it didn't stop him from trying.

His rookie had for some reason picked to trust him slightly more than the rest of the team, and there was no way he was going to disappoint her. So he continued reassuring her that she wasn't there and desperately begged her to come back.

Skye heard him before she saw him offer his hand. The voices didn't match. She could see Coulson standing over her, quietly stating harsh truths that she had already come to accept, but the other voice wasn't his and they were the only ones in the room.

Skye was confused, but grateful at the distraction. She focused on the other voice, and held back the sob of relief as her room started coming back into view and the cell began to dissipate away. Her mind finally began to understand that she wasn't in her cell. With that realization, her lungs gasped for air, and her body finally allowed her the breath.

It took her a little longer before she was able to see the outstretched hand in front of her. Looking at his hand and the offer that came with it, a whole new internal struggle began.

She wasn't stupid, contrary to what she had been told over the last few months. Even with the drugs, she had begun to make the connection between when they would give her the drugs and how long after the hallucinations of her team would pop up. That distinction only lasted about, well she could only guess at the time frame as they had been sure to constantly switch her schedule, never letting her sleep more than a few short hours each day. All she knew is that it had been a short time before the drugs began to come on a consistent bases and she couldn't tell reality from the world that they were creating. That knowledge had gotten her through the first few months, but after a while, she began to question if what they were showing her wasn't just reality.

The Ward they had portrayed…she shuttered at the thought, before reminding herself that he was never as bad as Coulson; none of them had been as bad as Coulson. Taking a cleansing breath, Skye reminded herself that she had already decided that she would try one last time, so that when the time came, she could defend her actions and at least have the peace that she did try. This Ward so far hadn't done anything…_yet _her mind countered. She shut that part out.

Minutes passed by before he saw her eyes come to focus as her hand hesitantly reached for his. Once their hands touched, Ward couldn't resist the protectiveness and relief that he felt towards his rookie as he gently tugged her towards him, wrapping her in his arms.

She tensed as she contemplated what she was getting herself into, but her mind felt so tired and numb, craving normal human contact and maybe even security. She burrowed her head into his chest and clutched on to his shirt, desperately wanting this to all be real and scared of letting go. He rocked them till he felt her body relax and her breathing return to a regular rate.

This was the first time that anyone of them had been able to hold her. Shifting so he could look at her, "You ready for bed?" He felt a shudder go through her and her breathing began to accelerate. He cursed himself for his use of language. "Ok, ok no bed. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to, ok?" He quickly corrected, lowering his head as he tried to look her in the eyes.

She continued to stare at the ground. "What do you say we go and watch a movie?" He was trained to read people. It was his job to see the subtle signs and use them to his advantage. Ward didn't want to get his hopes up, but when her shoulders relaxed slightly, and she gave him one long blink, he couldn't help the slight smile at her efforts of communication.

He stood up, and held his hand out. She stared at his hand in contemplation. Gaining more confidence in the fact that he had read into her blink, she slowly reached out, placing her hand in his.

**AN: **Please review and let me know what you think! I love reading about your guys' ideas :) Hope you enjoyed it.


	11. Chapter 11 Two Steps Forward…

**AN:** Thank you for all of the reviews! I love how some of you are keeping up with the details! I better be extra careful ;)

To the guest who left me the long review, first off thank you for the review. Secondly, sorry you're having a difficult time reading this, but I personally love stories where the character is broken and overcomes the obstacles set before them. I think it makes them admirable. Anyways, please feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

I'm sorry this chapter is somewhat short. As I mentioned, I'm studying for a huge test, but I hope the quality makes up for the length.

**Warning:** Small, slightly intense scene…This picks up right where the other chapter left off.

**Chapter 11 Two Steps Forward…**

He had her front pinned against the wall, his hand tangled in her hair, as he whispered in her ear, "No one's going to want you after what I've done with you. You are all used up and have nothing to offer." Skye closed her eyes as she struggled to ignore the words that had become so familiar and believable, trying to desperately imagine being anywhere else. She grit her teeth in frustration at not being able to block out the continued whispers with the harsh truths that she had accepted. "You're lucky I even keep you around. You're damaged goods, a piece of property, my property." She'd bit her lip, trying to focus on anything other then him pressed against her back. "Who are you?" he asked, with a knowing smile on his face. She felt the pain that followed her silence. "Say it, or I'm going to make this so rough on you!" he demanded.

She tried to hold her emotions in, as those only made him angrier. "I'm your property," she repeated the memorized phrase, hating herself and who she had become even more.

"Good girl," he praised in her ear, before she felt his hands wander. She tightly closed her eyes as she focused on the taste of the blood from her lip.

Skye woke up with a start, shoving the blanket off of her. She curled in around herself, trying to get the memories and voices out of her head. Looking around, she immediately recognized Ward asleep a few feet away from her on the couch, the TV still on with the volume real low, and the turbulence that could only come from being in a plane. With the remnants of the nightmare still haunting her, she tried to focus on her breathing, but her thoughts were already spiraling out of control as they were consumed by the memories.

She stared at Ward. What if he got tired of her? Sent her back. She had to offer him something. Maybe he would keep her around. She had to try.

Wiping the tears away, she quietly moved over to the sleeping specialist, carefully straddling his lap. Before he fully woke up, she tangled one hand in his hair as she brought her lips to his, kissing him fiercely. His body responded as he began to kiss her back with the same intensity. Hands on her hips, he pulled her closer. His tired mind hadn't caught up with the present circumstances until the kisses began to taste salty and he felt her hand reach for his pants. He instantaneously pulled back, grabbing her hand before it could find its destination. Ward immediately froze at the realization of the situation and what he had just done.

He tried to slow his breathing down and studied the girl who was still on his lap. It hit him hard when he noticed the tear tracks on her face and the small tremble, but what floored him was the fear in her eyes.

"Please, let me do this," she said quietly as she reached for his pants again. He stopped her right away, gently grabbing her hand and holding on to it this time. There was no way this was going to happen.

He took her hands and placed them flat on his chest, covering them with his own. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Being sure she wasn't going to move her hands, he removed his and gently wiped her tears with his thumbs. "I am so sorry Skye, I am so sorry," he begged for her forgiveness. He hated his traitor body that had just reacted without trying to figure out what was happening or why she was kissing him. He was a trained agent, for god's sake. A trained agent who was supposed to maintain a level head even with exhaustion. What the hell was wrong with him, he chided himself.

She was confused. Was he apologizing for something he was about to do? It didn't matter, she had started it.

"I don't have anything else I can give you," she whispered in explanation. "Please don't send me back. I'll do whatever you want. I know I'm used up, but I can do it. Please, please just let me," she begged. A sob escaped, "I'll be good, please just let me try."

Ward froze at the words of the analyst. She was begging him to practically rape her! He cursed those bastards for the millionth time, oh what he would do them... Taking a deep slow breath, he stopped his mind track as he pushed the anger away. He couldn't let her see that anger and associate it with something she did. He had to fix this first, fix his screw up.

"Skye, look at me," he said in a straight tone. He usually avoided telling her what to do, but this was a desperate situation. He watched her uncertainty with the request.

Covering her small fragile hands back up with his, he gently stated, "Skye, please look at me." Ward patiently waited as her gaze hesitantly started going up till she was looking him in the eyes. There were no happy feelings when she made eye contact for the first time, his heart simply ached for the pain that he saw in her eyes, but he pushed past it. He had to.

Once he had her full attention, he slowly began to explain. He was so desperate for her to understand, desperate to ease the pain, fear, and uncertainty that were so easily reflected in those brown eyes. "We will never send you away from here. You don't have to do anything. It's not something that you have to earn. No matter what you do or don't do, you're stuck with us. Ok?"

He heard a sniffle before the desperate question he strained to hear, "Promise?"

She knew that she was begging for this to be real, and she didn't care. With the fear of rejection still looming, she anxiously waited for his reply, unsure if he had heard her plea of a question.

"I promise," he said, as he wiped away the fresh tears.

"Can you forgive me?" he asked, hating himself for putting her through that.

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at his apology. _He_ was apologizing to _her_.

"I reacted without thinking, and I am so sorry," her SO continued in explanation.

Skye was exhausted and began to wonder if she had really woken up from her dream before she hesitantly nodded.

With that out of the way, Ward went to the main question, "Can I hold you?" He heard another sob, except this one had an air of relief to it, before she leaned against him and buried her head in his neck.

Not feeling completely comfortable with the way they were situated, he gently guided one of her legs back across his lap so she was sitting next to him.

Grabbing the blanket from the floor, he wrapped it around her curled form before encircling his arms around her. She tensed up. He began to count to three and just as he was about to let her go, his rookie relaxed and buried her head against his side, clutching to his shirt with one hand.

Resting his head on top of hers, he heard her take a shuddering breath in as she tensed again. Ward immediately removed his head, placing it on the back of the couch instead, and waited. He held his breath, worried that he had pushed another trigger, till he felt her relax once again and lean into his side.

"I missed you," he admitted quietly to the girl curled up in his arms, glad that she was letting him hold her.

The older agent grabbed the remote and put some Disney movie on. God knows they could use some innocence right now. 

**AN: **That wasn't too bad right? Please review and let me know what you thought! Hope you enjoyed!

**Extra Note: **I have to share, a few nights ago at 3 in the morning, I was thinking what if Ward escaped from prison and someone caught him and Skye and put them through their own hell. After Ward and Skye finally escape and he gets Skye back to Coulson, the team struggles with Ward as he is the only person she seems to trust and yet he was Hydra and betrayed all of them…this is what I ponder at 3am. Poor Skye. Anyways…Thanks for reading! :)


	12. Chapter 12 Reality Check

**AN:** Wow! Thank you for all of the reviews! You know that lopsided grin you get when reading a fanfic and hoping no one is watching you; yeah that's me when I read your reviews, so Thank You! To the person who asked: no, I don't mind long reviews, I quite enjoy them :)

**VivaGrazia**: Lol…where were you when I needed a title for the story? I plan on finishing this. After all of the support and time you guys have invested, how can I not?

**TrooperCam**: I am counting on it :)

For those wanting to give Skye a break, I wanted to warn you that some voted for a longer story that involves more Skye angst. I haven't completely figured out that part, but have a few ideas. You are not allowed to hate me since the method used was democracy…haha but this chapter is pretty light.

And for those who requested May and Jemma, Merry Christmas (Only 191days)! I hope I did Agent May's character justice and tried to include Skye's perspective as some of you enjoy reading it. This went from 800 words to 1900. Hope you like it!

_Echo by John Walker_**:** one of the songs that I listen to when I write Skye's perspective, if you wanted to know. On with the story!

**Chapter 12 Reality Check**

Jemma had been walking by when she had heard the quiet cries in Skye's room. She knocked before walking in to find Skye thrashing in her makeshift bed at the corner, asleep. "Oh Skye," she whispered when she saw her friends distress.

Her heart ached for the young girl when she heard her desperate quiet begs of, "please, no more," to the invisible forces.

"Skye, you're having a nightmare. Please, you have to wake up now," Jemma spoke in a worried voice, kneeling down and cautiously reaching out to her friend.

Skye immediately sat up with a gasp and pulled away from the contact before grabbing her ribs in pain. She looked around, assessing her environment, trying to convince herself that she was actually in her room.

Jemma bit her lip, something that she had caught herself doing more and more of ever since Skye had disappeared. It gave her something to concentrate on when she needed to refocus her thoughts. "Hey," Jemma stated quietly, not wanting to startle her when she had that far away look in her eyes.

Skye's attention immediately went to Jemma, following the source of the noise. Her eyes began to clear as she noticed the scientist for the first time, wondering how long she had been there and a little worried that it had taken her such an extended amount of time to become aware of the other girl. The analyst couldn't help her automatic response of checking to make sure that Simmons didn't have anything in her hands or that she had brought with her. Her body relaxed slightly when there were no drugs in sight and the fact that they weren't in the lab only helped.

Skye looked at her arm to reassure herself that the IV had been removed, but then again, most of the injections that they had given her, they had injected into her arm directly. She swallowed, trying to clear her airway as she realized how insignificant the removal of the IV had been. _Idiot, _she admonished herself for having gotten her hope up.

Her mind started to go back to the memories and the source of the nightmare. She slowly looked around once again. This was real, wasn't it? God, she wanted to cry, wanted to scream, just to do something that would help her feel a little release from all of the pressure. Part of her wanted to leap and the other part was worried where she would land. It was a constant battle raging inside of her. It didn't help that the nightmare had been in an exact replica of the room.

She ran a frustrated hand through her hair before she ungracefully untangled herself from her sheets, keeping the scientist who was now sitting on the real bed in her peripheral vision. She didn't even remember getting into her makeshift bed last night…

Getting up, Skye began to pace. She took a deep breath trying to get a hold of the chaotic thoughts that felt like they were about to consume her. All of the facts added to the point that so far, they were real. She had told herself to go along with it one more time, but going along with whatever they wanted was different than really believing in them. Recalling the events from the previous night, she desperately wanted to believe that it was them, at least him…

She swallowed down the bile as she thought how the other Ward wouldn't have hesitated, most likely topping it all off with making her believe she deserved whatever she got. Bastard had become real convincing after a few doses, the pain enhancing drugs definitely working to his benefit. She would have agreed to anything; whatever made the pain stop faster. She stopped mid stride as she acknowledged just how pathetic she had become.

How could she even compare them? They were night and day difference.

Her mind went back to the nightmares; more like memories that her mind decided to replay whenever she decided to sleep.

_They're just nightmares. Stupid nightmares that make you feel powerless all over again,_ Skye ranted in her head while resuming her pacing and glaring at the ground, trying to get some of her frustration out. _And I still feel that way. I don't want to be rescued! I just want…I only want…I…._ She sighed in annoyance when she noticed her hands were still shaking, feeling the pricks of tears as her frustration began to overwhelm her. At the facility, it had become a routine. She didn't have to think about whether they were real or not. All she focused on was they made her life a living hell. And now…nothing made sense.

Jemma sat on the bed, trying to provide as much support to her friend. She had sadly watched how Skye checked her hands, probably making sure that she didn't have any more drugs. She couldn't blame the analyst, the scientist was still dealing with the guilt of putting her through all of that. She watched as her friend had begun pacing, every once in a while, she would very slightly glance at Jemma's feet, probably making sure she hadn't moved. Unsure of how to best aid her friend, she stayed on the bed, helplessly watching the other girl pace.

"You feel helpless and overwhelmed." Sky jumped when she heard May's voice, "Like you don't have any control or say in what goes on around you. And the other part of you is just scared that if something were to happen, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it." May stood there, leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossed, one eyebrow up, daring someone to contradict her statements.

Skye fidgeted as she listened to May. This was probably the longest conversation she had had with May, and she hadn't even participated. "So lets do something about it," May continued. Skye looked up to catch May tilt her head in a _follow me_ fashion at the two girls.

_How does she do that?! Maybe a superpower. Wouldn't be the first person we've encountered who had superpowers.…Although, listing the facts: her clothes were all dark, she had that quiet and wise presence to her, she could sneak up on anyone, she kicked butt like nobodies business, she did those meditations, and she preferred tea over coffee._

_She had to be a ninja_, Skye concluded before following May with Jemma only one step behind her.

_May hadn't been that bad. Sure she had broken a few ribs, but really, which of the others hadn't inflicted some physical pain_. The young analyst tried to minimize the significance, worried she would chicken out of following the pilot, or worse, have a panic attack in the middle of the hallway. For whatever reason, the older agent had not made many appearances in the last seven months, and Skye was grateful for that as she subconsciously reached for her ribs. Besides, why would they wrap her ribs, if they were simply going to break them again, she weakly argued. She had nothing to lose.

May waited till the girls caught up to her. She had done what she did best, observed from the sidelines. During those times, she had seen how the youngest member of their team was reluctant in practically everything she did. Skye didn't trust herself and was waiting for the one mess up that would be unforgivable for the rest of the team. Hell, the girl probably didn't even believe that she was back with the real team. After all, there was no denying that Coulson had made a great point. Skye had begun to question reality at week four and that place had tainted her perception for over seven months.

Right now she needed Skye to trust the people that she was around and understand that they cared for her; a concept that for a person in Skye's current position was very hard to believe. With her still healing ribs, she would teach her how to meditate and concentrate on controlling her breathing and emotions.

With her own past full of nightmares and memories that ended in panic attacks, the older agent knew the importance of being able to focus and pulling yourself to reality. It would not only give her time to trust May but a little more confidence in herself and not having to rely on people to always pull her back. With the analyst's confidence being practically non-existent right now, she needed it.

If she could learn how to focus on the small details, she could begin to recognize reality. Then would come the part of retraining her automatic reactions. That would take time and trust. Trust that they were real, trust that they would not hurt her, but mainly, she needed to trust that fact that the consequences she had been trained to accept were never going to be incorporated here. That it was ok to make mistakes, small or big. But then again, Skye's definition of a mistake at this point in time was skewed. The girl thought the ground was the only place that deserved her attention.

They had to take this one step at a time. May tilted her head, encouraging the girls to come closer. "We're going to do a little meditation." She walked over to the iPod and pressed play to start the music. "Follow my lead as best as you can," she started through the routine leaving no room for argument, not that either of the girls was in a position to argue.

"The most important thing is to focus on your breathing. Concentrate on what you feel as you allow the air to move in through your nose, expanding your lungs, and out through your mouth. When you feel overwhelmed, always change your focus to your breathing. It is something that you control," May added, demonstrating the breathing while gracefully moving through the meditation movements.

The analyst's attention had immediately gone to the unsaid part, _something 'they' can't control_. She really liked the sound of that.

The girls joined in, both hesitant. Skye not wanting to mess up and Jemma worried about her lack of coordination. There was a reason that she had chosen the science route for her life career. Nevertheless, they both followed May's postures as best as they could.

Skye had been sure to leave a little room between her and the others, as pointless as that was. She knew she didn't stand a chance if May decided to turn on her. Her thoughts came to a halt as she concentrated on what the older agent was telling them.

"Sometimes when you feel like you are losing control, meditation helps you to refocus on what's real. Look at the details, be aware of your surroundings," May spoke as she continued to lead them through her routine. The women continued the rest of the meditation in silence.

Skye felt herself relaxing as she let go of the nightmare and focused on the details of her current environment. Jemma had woken her up from her nightmare and May had sought them out to teach them how to meditate. To any other person, this wouldn't mean much but to Skye, it confused her that they would step out of their way to pull her in. She was definitely thankful for the distraction. Focusing on her breathing, she reminded herself to just appreciate the moment. One step at a time.

**AN:** Is May really a Ninja? Probably…Please review and let me know your thoughts! Hope you enjoyed!

Up next: Coulson! About time, right?

**Extra AN:** You guys really shouldn't encourage my 3am musings. Next thing you'll know I'll throw the Ward from this story to the TV Show universe just cause I would like to see him explain why he isn't Hydra/ in jail and his anxiety at not being there for story Skye all the while trying not to get killed by TV show Agent May…I'm kind of mean I realize… Thanks for the opinions and interest! I might consider doing the other story depending on when this story ends. We'll see if the muse keeps nagging me :)


	13. Chapter 13 Timely Encounter

**AN: **So I am _extremely_ nervous about this chapter, partly because, a) well there are no warnings needed and I think many of you were expecting some, b) I feel like the writing style changed a little, and c) its 1am and I have been up since 6:00am (sorry for any errors). I really hope you like it!

No, Ward is not Hydra in this story. Even I'm not the mean...most of the time...

Thank you Karan for the title that I dread coming up with! :)

**Chapter 13 Timely Encounter**

She had just finished getting cleaned up after another ninja session, at least that's what she had begun to call them.

After the first session, May had come the next day with Simmons two steps behind, asking in way that only Agent May could, if she wanted to continue the meditation. How could she not accept the offer at the distraction; an offer where May would tell her in not so straightforward words, that she would teach her ways that could help her to take back control of the small things. Heck after she had come back from her first day of meditation, she had practiced the techniques and almost wanted to cry out of joy when she realized that she did get to control her breathing. But then again, the tears might be out of how sad and pathetic that realization sounded.

Never the less, she'd started going to the meditation sessions, partly waiting for someone to break out of character, give her a hint that they couldn't be trusted and partly because they gave her a short time away from the nightmares that haunted her during the day time.

Ward had shown up the next day after the first session with May, acting like nothing had happened the night before. Neither of them had brought up the incident, Ward, well she really didn't know why he hadn't. As for her, there were a few reasons, one of which included the memories of her ribs cracking when she spoke without 'their blessing'. Although, she had to admit that this group had been pretty lenient considering she had talked more so now than in the last 6 months combined. Maybe they just liked the begging.

Thinking back to that movie night, a small part of her, the part that she had begun to hate, felt rejected. She'd spent hours breaking apart the whole interaction and wondering, was she just not good enough? Well, she already knew the answer to that.

And yet, he had promised that they would keep her around and that she didn't have to do anything for it. That couldn't be normal. She had sighed in frustration before her SO had shown up, offering her more food that she couldn't stand to look at without feeling nauseous. That time Ward had brought a high calorie protein shake. He had read her hesitancy as she stared at the carton that claimed to taste just like a chocolate milk shake. Silently holding his hand out, Skye had placed the carton in his waiting grasp, not surprised when he took a sip before offering it back.

It hadn't tasted like a milk shake at all, but she didn't expect the carton to be truthful in the first place. After all, a milkshake in a carton without whipped cream practically spelled out 'false advertising'. They had continued the lunch in silence, him eating a sandwich that he would catch her suspiciously looking at, and her trying to take small sips and ignore the fact that she was swallowing this stuff.

Everyday after the sessions with the other women, Ward would keep her company. Today he had knocked, finally walking in after the silence ensued for more than a minute before wordlessly sliding down the wall to his usual spot. She watched him from her peripheral vision, curiosity peeked at the backpack in his hand. Once their lunch was over, he retrieved the bag from the ground.

She thinks he smiled before opening the bag to pull out, what looked like to be, her laptop. He gently placed it on the ground, sliding it in front of her, but she didn't dare to touch it. He spoke for the first time that day, told her it was ok, that it was hers. She simply stared at the foreign object. He had sighed, giving up and leaving the computer on the ground, hoping she would change her mind.

Once he had left, Skye had nudged the laptop away, keeping her eyes on the door and wondering if he would notice the few inches it had moved. The old Skye would have been ecstatic with the offering; this Skye just dreaded the do's and don'ts that accompanied that laptop.

Feeling restless, she tapped her foot soundlessly, not wanting to get caught as she questioned if there really were do's and don'ts.

If one part of her had remained from the old Skye, it was her lack of patience. Ward had once tried to teach her the importance of patience and strategy, but it had backfired when she won the game of risk, dominating the world solely with the strategy of choosing the countries that she thought would be cool to visit. Her SO had been so close to cracking before he began arguing that the game wasn't a fair representation as chance played a large part when it came to the roll of the dice that would determine the fate of the armies.

She had simply smiled, listening and waiting for him to finish his excuses before she pointed to one of the countries on the board that was occupied by her soldiers and stating, "You know why I picked this country first?"

Ward had wisely remained silent, preparing himself for the spontaneous answer that would come. He knew not to get his hopes up, and yet he couldn't help the little spark of light when the first words out of her mouth were, "Strategically," and it all went down hill from there. "They have much cuter elephants than the ones in the United States. It was an obvious choice."

"Obvious choice," Ward had quietly repeated to himself as he got up and walked away. He needed a little work out session as he heard her call after him, "Was it something that I said?"

Skye mentally shook her head at the tangential thinking. Maybe she could finally blame all of the drugs for her lack of ability to remain on one subject. She frowned at that thought, not finding it humorous at all.

On the plus side, her mind had felt more and more clear with each passing day, and she knew the passing of each day as they had left her watch on the nightstand table; a watch in which she had slyly placed behind the dresser next to her makeshift bed, hoping that they would forget about it and let her keep it.

She didn't know if she could handle not knowing the time of day again. Looking back, she had never been so appreciative of something so small that could keep track of the passage of time. The old Skye had definitely taken that fore granted. The new Skye, well the new Skye had been stuck in a dark hole. They had made sure to disorient her circadian rhythm, as Simmons had called it, waking her up at random times. The drugs definitely didn't work to her benefit, increasing the disorientation. But now, now she had the small object that comfortingly ticked by each second.

This all felt surreal. She hadn't had drugs in her system for about two weeks, if she excluded the time that Simmons had placed the medicine in her IV bag. Watching them closely, not one of them had slipped up. Maybe they were waiting for her to make the first mistake. Although, she already had made a few that were considered unforgivable a mere month ago.

There was one way to test this place. She felt the anxiety rise, her mouth feeling dry as the air became thicker and harder to breath. Skye didn't want to give up what she had just found. Even if it was a small break, it had been practically a vacation…_a high anxiety vacation where I want to have a panic attack and throw up as I wait for the unknown to drag me back to reality, _she thought to herself. She never had been patient much, and she needed to know.

The daunting admission finally clicked. She _had_ to know, she corrected herself. Her chest constricted once her mind had finally decided, knowing that she couldn't just keep going the way that she was. Her Coulson, the one that had the friendly smile, the one that had brought her in, the one whose image she couldn't even think about without it being distorted. He was the answer.

The others, it was hard, no doubt about it. Ward had been the second in line to Coulson, but after everything over the last few weeks, he was becoming more and more real to her. She still tensed every time they came anywhere near her, but that's all that happened. For them the analyst would simply wait to see what they would do, but him…the pain that was associated with him, her body jumping back ten feet was a survival response. It was mainly the drugs and partly the insecurities of the only man she had trusted and began to see as a father figure, turning on her as he waved all of her insecurities in front of her.

Skye felt as if she was about to gag, the temperature in her room rising. She got up and began pacing, unable to sit still.

This Coulson had been avoiding her, and for the most part, it had worked. She had practically cried in relief when he would walk away after seeing her. And she was thinking of ruining that! For what?

She could sit around and enjoy the break, yet she knew she would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop and sometimes, the anxiety is worse than the actual torture.

It sounded like a saying that someone who wasn't placed on drugs that increased the level of pain, making everything ten times as worse, would say. _Do you really want to ruin this? _Her own thoughts countered.

Skye slowed her pacing as she felt the room begin to tilt on top of her nausea, acknowledging that she really did need to eat and drink more than the high calorie cartons. Thinking it over, the analyst anxiously decided that she had to try.

She grabbed the trashcan before leaning on the wall and sliding back to the ground, trying to reassure herself with facts. _We'll do it at a time that Ward will be close by._

_Yes, because the last time that they were both in the same room with you hadn't been bad enough._

Skye gagged, but nothing came up. She closed her eyes and rested her head back against the wall, rubbing her wrists subconsciously.

_Ok maybe when May is close by,_ she quietly countered after pulling herself together. With no rebuttal, she continued. _We don't have to completely prove that this is real or fake, just… investigate a little. We can do this. I can do this. _

*******AoS*******

Coulson was never caught off guard. And even when he was, no one knew any better. Agent Hill had once told him that other than Fury and the Black Widow, she hadn't met anyone else that could keep a straight face as well as he could, especially when ridiculousness came into play. Despite the professionalism that one would expect from S.H.I.E.L.D, they got their fare share of ridiculousness.

So when Skye had appeared at his office door alone and out of her own volition, he didn't have a hard time admitting that the word 'um' followed by a 'hey' was part of his first spoken sentence to her. After recovering he gently stated, "What can I do for you?" He remained sitting behind his desk, not wanting to appear as a threat. He would not screw this up.

He watched her stare at the ground as she fidgeted with the zipper on her jacket, before staring at his desk. "Can we um," her voice broke out into silence. She returned her gaze to the ground. It's the highest she had looked up at him. Hell, if he was being honest, this was the closest that she had gotten to him since the day that they got her back, minus the few accidental times that had ended in a disaster with her practically trying to disappear into the wall and away from him.

He resisted the grimace at those memories, instead choosing to focus on the present. Coulson couldn't deny that he was ecstatic for this moment as he recognized its significance. Mind you, he was delighted even before she had spoken the three words. And yes, he was counting the 'um'. It all deserved recognition as far as he was concerned.

He waited patiently, watching her control her breathing. "Can we talk…please?" Skye said in a rush, keeping her voice quiet. She looked outside of his office, and he took it as a hint. It hurt to know that she was scared enough that she didn't feel safe with him in the small office, but _she had_ approached him, he reminded himself. That alone was monumental as far as he was concerned.

"Of course," he stated, trying not to sound too surprised or excited at the request. "How about I meet you out there in 5 minutes. I just have to get some things put away," he continued, lifting some random papers up from his desk. He could have sworn he saw her shoulders relax slightly as she turned and headed out. Coulson knew that the decreased tension was probably due to the fact that he wouldn't be following her out of his office at a close proximity. That implication alone made him feel nauseated. Placing the papers back to their original spots, he sat and waited for the minutes to tick by.

*******AoS*******

Coulson walked out of his office and down the stairs to find Skye sitting in one of the rarely used plane seats, knees pulled up, staring out of the window. He stood and watched her for a minute. She looked so small and vulnerable, and there was nothing that he could do about that. Not yet at least.

He was no assassin or secret agent spy, but having to work with them, he had picked up a trick or two. Today, however, he intentionally took a few steps back and coughed. He waited till Skye's attention turned towards him before he began walking. Coulson sat on the chair across from her, where he remained silent. Her shoulders tensed, but otherwise she didn't react. This was going pretty good as far as he was concerned.

If she wanted to talk, he would let her. If she wanted to just sit and stare at him, he would give her as much time as she needed. He leaned back in his chair and relaxed his body. Her gaze slowly started to rise till it met his smiling face. She flinched and looked down, her body remained tense.

Coulson tilted his head as he studied the youngest member of his team. It was as if she was waiting for something to happen.

Her body language screamed at him that this was someone who had gone on the defense and was waiting for a blow. A blow that she assumed was coming from him. He didn't allow his mind to dwell on that; he couldn't afford to, not while she sat in front of him, analyzing his every small movement.

So he sat, being conscious of not making any movement, and he waited. After a few minutes, he watched her guarded expression turn to confusion. They remained like that for another fifteen minutes before she got up and quickly walked away.

"Well, I say that went well," he stated to himself.

**AN:**I know what you guys are thinking, Skye is just getting out of hand with her rebellious acts. I mean first hiding the watch, then moving the laptop a few inches, and after that actually talking to Coulson; the nerve! I personally blame May…. ;)

Hopefully you weren't disappointed with the lack of darkness. Please review and let me know your thoughts! Hope you enjoyed!


	14. Chapter 14 Worlds Collide

**AN:** Thank you for all of the reviews! They are really inspiring! Thank you for the error catch TrooperCam! I believe I fixed all of them.

So this….yeah… I would like to point out that this all plays in the bigger plot (yes there is one). If it feels like this story is dragging, I do apologize, but I need Skye to be at a certain place and the details do matter, so yay for more team interactions! ;)

Many of you want light and happy and some are asking for dark scenes. I hope this chapter has enough of each.

_**Warning**_: The first bold paragraph in the story is a flashback to the next bold paragraph in the story. And this is a little more intense than the other ones, so please do skip in between the bold parts if you need to.

**Chapter 14 Worlds Collide**

Little by little, the team had begun to get the analyst more and more out of her room. It had been three days and Ward had really started to worry about the fact that her laptop still remained untouched. He had caught her once pushing it ever so slightly away from her, but had pretended not to notice before walking in to invite her to dinner; if dinner was the right term as his rookie mainly stared at the food.

Having no luck with getting Skye to eat the food, Simmons had tapper her resources at NASA and ordered some finger rations that involved extremely small portions packed with high calories and nutrition.

Skye had still been reluctant to eat the food, preferring the fake shakes over the nutrition that required chewing. The fluid intake had began to increase the more she realized that she was more adverse to the solid food. Unless they directly asked her to, she had left the food on the plate, untouched as she reached over for the drink instead.

Part of her worried how long they would put up with her rebellion while another part enjoyed the little acts that she fought against.

One day it went from having one drink choice to seven different flavors, each providing different types of nutritional values. She'd hesitated as she read each carton carefully. Jemma had seen her friend take notice of the diversity of the drinks and so had explained that having the same thing every time might get boring after a while.

Skye had been a little thrown back at the small gesture. Here she was trying to be rebellious and they were encouraging it.

After she had drank a carton, she had anxiously waited for one of them to give her a hint that it was ok for her to leave. Once she had received it, she had immediately gotten up and begun to walk towards her bunk before she saw the path of sunlight illuminating part of the ground before her.

The analyst looked around and saw that no one was close by, the sounds of the scientists and Ward still in the kitchen. She was already testing the boundaries and its not like they were enforcing any of the rules so far…

Skye walked over to a window seat, checking her surroundings one more time before sitting down. She watched the sun light beam through the window before placing her hand in the direct pathway of the light, observing the change in color at her pale skin. Within a few minutes, she had begun to feel the warmth. Her eyes moved to the small reddened scars around her wrist.

She sighed as she pulled her hand back, subconsciously rubbing the area.

Skye began thinking over the interaction with Coulson. She remembered wondering if she was possibly having a heart attack with the chest pain that accompanied her high pulse that could be felt pounding in her ears. Part of her had wished that she was going into a code blue, anything to have stopped the whole interaction. But she had walked up to his office, pushing her crippling fear aside as her numb legs carried her up the stairs. She had felt like a lamb, willingly walking to the slaughterhouse. _A stupid lamb_, she corrected.

And then, well then, nothing had happened. He had just sat there.

A really small part of her had wished he would have reacted, because him reacting she knew how to deal with. All this was so abnormal, no set routines in place, no strict boundaries. But no, he had just sat there and let her stare at him. Of all of the scenarios she had planned out in her head, that had not been one of them.

The whole interaction hadn't proved anything. Maybe he had grown a sense of patience over the last few weeks…

Her thoughts were interrupted when Ward casually walked up, plopping himself down into the seat in front of her.

"I got an idea for today," he stated, feeling slightly nervous at how his rookie would react. "I know you're not the biggest fan of going to the shower room," he started. It was hard not to notice the obvious five-foot perimeter his rookie would follow when walking by the shower room. "And no one is going to make you go in there," he quickly added, not wanting to cause her any more anxiety than she already showed.

He slowly got up and watched as she hesitantly followed him, stopping at the invisible perimeter she had created. Ward opened the door all of the way before stepping back towards Skye, who had to consciously resist taking a step back

_What are the chances that he could drag me in_, she thought to herself, conscious of every move her SO was making.

_100% if you use the word could, _countered the other side.

Skye wanted to role her eyes at herself wondering when had she become a grammar nazi.

_Since you wanted a distraction from what you're avoiding._

Sometimes she really hated the straight-forward side.

But the other agent simply sat on the ground, facing the washroom while leaning back against the couch. Skye gave one more suspicious look to the ominous room before joining the man on the ground. She pulled her knees up, trying to put as much room between her and that room.

Ward gave her sometime to adjust to the door being open. When he saw her shoulders relax slightly, he got up and walked into the room.

"There's no one here," Ward stated, opening the stalls and the closet to further demonstrate his point.

**Skye stopped seeing the shower room on the plane as it morphed into a room she had become extremely familiar with. **

"Get in the shower," she heard the harsh whisper over her shoulder, before she felt the sharp sting on her neck. She focused on her breathing, trying to ignore the fact that she was standing almost fully naked with three men staring at her like a prey that had been caught, practically salivating in delight.

She felt so numb and yet everything hurt so badly. As she began to take a shaky step forward, she heard his reprimand, "Uh uh. Who said you could walk?" She cringed as she heard the chuckles behind her.

"I really don't want to hurt you Skye, but you keep making the same mistakes, you're not trying. You know you have to pay for that." Skye listened to the speech, but didn't care at this point.

"And then after, of course," he slowly drawled on, twirling a lock of her hair as he stepped closer. "You can stay with me tonight. Temperatures going to drop," the man walked around her till he was behind her again. "I'm sure I can find ways for you to keep us warm," he whispered in her ear.

"But first things first. We have to clean you up. You're lucky I even let you in my bed," he continued as he circled her like a vulture; a grin that looked out of place etched on his face. "Do you know how disgusting you are right now?" he let the comment sink in before continuing. "But I guess I have to thank you for entertaining the guards."

Skye closed her eyes at the onslaught of memories; being pinned down, them taking turns. She couldn't throw up, that would only make this worse. Swallowing down the bile, she tried her best not to pass out. She focused on the ground, reciting the alphabet backwards.

"How many were there? At least 27 from where I was watching." She could hear the sinister smile on his face.

He got no reply. "Get in the shower," he stated again right before shoving her forward, her knees slamming into the tiles. She crawled to the tub this time, just like he had wanted. Once in, he cuffed one wrist to the soap holder before he started filling it with the cold water.

Skye immediately started shivering as she tried to prepare herself for what was to come. She was glad that the water was extremely cold; it meant he wouldn't join her this time.

He was saving that for later.

She felt him crouch down next to her, gently playing with her hair. "I really wish I didn't have to do this," he stated before sighing disappointedly. Grabbing her hair, he shoved her head under the water.

She tried so hard not to struggle, but it wasn't long before she felt her lungs burning, begging for air. Skye couldn't stop her body's automatic response as she clutched onto his arm, trying to remove the pressure holding her down.

Just when her vision began to black out, he finally let up, pulling her head out of the water. Skye coughed as she desperately gasped for air. He let go of her hair, instead cupping her face in his hands, pulling her towards him as he sat on the edge of the tub. Skye felt his breath hit her face as he let out a frustrated sigh. "You know you could've stopped this Skye. I keep giving you chances and you just don't care."

"How long are you going to make me hurt you? You think I enjoy this?" he asked.

She knew that he wasn't expecting an answer. Even if she had asked for forgiveness for her screw up, talking wasn't ok. She'd learned that lesson really fast.

"**I'm sorry rookie, but you have to learn," Ward stated grabbing her head again and shoving her back under.**

Skye gasped for air, surprised that she wasn't in the tub, till she looked up to see Ward in front of her. "Skye, its ok. You're safe," Ward stated calmly, the terror on her face when she saw him already haunting him.

She immediately turned around and crawled away before she got up and ran right into Coulson.

The team leader looked up when the trembling young girl collided with him. "Skye. What's wrong?" He asked, ready to do anything to get that fear off of her face. Skye had instantly stopped in her tracks. When she saw Ward take a step closer with his hands in the air, trying to convey that he was not going to harm her, she immediately took a step closer to Coulson.

Ward instantaneously stopped his advance. "I'm not going to hurt you," he tried again, his chest aching for the fear that he saw in her eyes as tears started slowly streaming down her face.

Backing away from both men, she made sure they didn't follow before running to the one place that she hadn't seen in seven months. Running up the stairs, she missed a step, her vision blurred by the tears; but she quickly got up, desperate to reach the door. She hesitated knocking as a few sobs escaped, her world shattering around her. As if the world was finally listening to her pleas, the older agent opened the door.

"Skye," May stated once she saw the girls trembling form at the pilot station entrance. She opened the door all the way, recovering from her surprise of finding Skye there. "Want to ride shotgun?" she invited the younger girl in,

Skye didn't hesitate walking to the other seat. She curled up on the seat as she heard the door close behind her. May walked over and silently covered the shivering girl with a blanket before taking her seat in the pilot chair. She remained silent as she let the analyst have her space, the trembling subsiding little by little.

It had been over an hour and May decided that the hacktivist could use a distraction.

"The suns about to set." Skye looked up, wiping the last of the tears away. Even with the consuming memory and the breakdown, the analyst couldn't help the small smile that made its way across her face at the sight.

Skye watched the sunset, and May watched the young girl. "Skye," May interrupted quietly.

The analyst attention turned towards the woman. "Ever wanted to learn how to fly," May asked, a half smile on her face. The girl obviously needed a break and to feel some control. Flying the BUS, well that was definitely one way to do it.

Plus, the disbelieving look on Skye's face was definitely worth it. "Grab the steering in front of you. I'm going to switch the controls to you. Just try to hold it steady. Ready?"

Skye looked over at May again. May saw the excitement and nervousness all at once, solidifying the older agents belief that the old analyst was still there. "Here we go. Its all yours."

The plane jolted for a second as the younger girl felt the sudden pull, before she counteracted it and steadied the controller. May let out a silent little chuckle, "we'll just tell them that we hit some turbulence."

The analyst didn't reply, but the smile on her face said a lot more than words could.

*******AoS*******

After an hour of playing pilot, with May guiding her, the older agent had told her that she was a natural. The analyst had had no idea what to do with the compliment, trying to figure out if there was another meaning behind it. May had continued with an open invitation to come up there anytime she needed to get away.

Skye didn't know what she would've done if Agent May hadn't been there to invite her in. She was glad that she didn't have to find out.

With May having to run some diagnostic test, the younger girl had gone back to her bunk, feeling a lot lighter.

She heard the knock but didn't move.

Ward walked in when he didn't get a response. He watched his rookies reaction carefully as he moved towards her slowly, giving her time to let him know that she didn't want him near her. He felt the guilt consume him as he recalled the terror he had seen on her face, terror that was associated with him.

He slid down the wall, leaving a little space between him and his rookie who had her arms wrapped around her knees. She tensed, but didn't make any other movement.

"I'm so sorry Skye," her SO apologized softly after a few minutes of silence. "I shouldn't have pushed you to that." Skye didn't respond. They both just sat there, staring at the wall in front of them.

Not wanting to force her to be around him, Ward was getting ready to get up when the small gap was closed between them as his rookie leaned her shoulder against his. They stayed that way till Ward felt Skye's head rest on his shoulder.

He didn't dare move, wishing he could stop time if only to give her a little peace, but he knew he couldn't do that. So instead, he made sure to stay very still, not wanting to disturb the sleeping girl.

**AN:** I think this is the longest I have spent on a chapter…definitely should be studying haha. Main point is: _Skye just flew the plane_… if that doesn't help to bring you back to reality, I don't know what will.

Review and let me know what you think, maybe, possibly, please? Thanks for reading and hope you liked it! :)


	15. Chapter 15 One for One

**AN: **Thank you for all of the reviews! They honestly help me to keep writing instead of studying! Haha. But in all seriousness, it is really nice to hear the feedback, know that the story is going in a good direction, and the time put in is worth it. I'm glad you all are getting so creative with Mac's end! I'm definitely taking them into consideration, but we got a while before that.

On to the story, hope you like it...

_**Warning:**_ really small one as it's not nearly as bad as any of the other ones. Mild at best.

**Chapter 15 One for One**

Ward sat up with a gasp, his heart pounding. Frantically looking around, he assessed the environment before finding Skye standing at the side of his bed looking unsure of herself as she nervously rubbed her hands together. He caught her glancing at the door, as if making sure it was still available as an avenue of exit. Running his hand through his disheveled hair, his brain finally caught up with the fact that it was just another nightmare.

Ever since they had gotten her back, he had kept his door wide open, hoping that if she had a nightmare, he would be able to hear and intervene. He was surprised to find that she had woken him up from his.

Looking at his nightstand, he couldn't help but notice the blaring red that reminded him of how many times he woke up with nightmares at the habitual hours that normal people slept through. Then again, he shouldn't be surprised that Skye had woken him up. Once Simmons had ceased to give her the drugs, his rookie hadn't seen much peaceful sleeping, if the bags under her eyes were any indication.

"Feeling hungry?" Ward asked, as he got up and threw a shirt on. What else was there to do at 2:37am? Sleep was definitely not an option.

Skye fidgeted on her feet before biting her lip and nodding. Ward smiled at the progress she had made. She only hesitated for a little before responding, and to top it off, she had actually nodded.

He let her walk out first before following her out of his bunk and towards the kitchen. It was hard not to notice her shoulders slightly relax the farther they got away from his room.

Once there, he remained silent as he began prepping them each a sandwich, thinking back to the good old days where he had lost a bet to his rookie. She had very sweetly asked him to make her a sandwich as a prize to the winning victor. It had taken him 20 minutes to perfect it to her standards, both trying to see who would break first; her running out of demands, because you could only slice pickles to a smaller thickness 7 times without cutting off a digit, or him getting tired of following those demands. She had of course won.

More than a little surprised, Ward was pulled out of the reminiscing, changing his focus to his rookie. "What umm," he quietly heard her start off, losing confidence after the first word. He waited patiently, wanting to encourage her to talk as he walked around the island, placing a sandwich in front of her before taking a seat adjacent. "What was your nightmare about?" she finally asked, eyes studying the food in front of her.

Ward's entire body froze. He had never talked to anyone about his dreams, or his childhood for that matter. Anyone other than Garrett, who had made it clear that he didn't care to listen. The first time that Ward had opened up when we he was 14, the older man had told the kid that he was simply blaming others for his own weaknesses. But then again, all of the connections that he had formed with this team would be considered weaknesses as far as Garrett was concerned.

Skye remained tense, berating herself for talking. She didn't ask questions, they only asked questions. That was like the 29th rule. And so she waited to see what would happen, knowing that she couldn't take it back.

He wanted Skye to talk to them, to know that they were there for her and yet he was being a hypocrite. "I'll trade you one for one," he offered quietly, nervous at opening up, but knowing he had to. Part of him weakly argued that he didn't want to burden her, but he knew that that wasn't a valid argument. How could he expect her to let them in when he wasn't letting her in?

Skye was a little shocked at the unexpected turn. It was things like this that really made her question if he was real, because if he wasn't, he wouldn't really be asking. Although, she had quickly found out that they were sick people that would probably enjoy…she immediately stopped her thoughts as she felt her anxiety begin to constrict her breathing. She couldn't go there. Taking a deep a breath, she simply asked, "What do you want to know?"

There was so much that he wanted explained, that the team needed to know, but he recognized the fragile moment that they were in. Skye had literally taken a leap; this was the most that she had talked and was offering him an insight. She was already reliving the hell _they_ had made her endure through her nightmares, so Ward instead tried to focus on something small. "The last time that you and I watched a movie, you tensed up when I rested my head on yours." He didn't even have to ask before he heard answer.

"I thought," she paused, feeling foolish for her admission, "that you were going to try to kiss my forehead," she quietly stated, her eyes never leaving her hands.

"You don't like kisses on the forehead," Ward more stated than asked, not wanting her to feel like she was being questioned. After everything she had been through, he knew she had a lot of triggers.

Skye only nodded in response. "You don't have to answer, but can I ask why?" Ward continued.

He watched his rookie bite her lip, and waited patiently. "You would," Skye immediately stopped, recognizing her mistake. She was still having a hard time distinguishing these specific people from the ones that had 'rescued' her last time.

Ward inwardly flinched. He hated the fact that there was even a connection between him and those bastards in her mind, but there was nothing he could do about that other than show her that it hadn't been real, it hadn't been him.

"The hallucination you," Skye tried. It still sounded wrong on her tongue, specifically the word 'you', but she continued anyways, "they would kiss my forehead right before they would…," she stopped again, closing her eyes tightly.

He didn't need her to finish that sentence. They had taken something so innocent and made her associate it with them taking advantage of her. It pissed him off and a part of him felt helpless, not knowing where to start in order to help her.

"Please don't make me relive it," she begged quietly. Ward's attention immediately refocused on the analyst next to him.

"Skye, you don't have to do or talk about anything that you don't want to, ok?" Ward reminded her, annoyed with himself that he was causing her more distress.

His rookie finally nodded. It was his turn.

"One for one," he started, thinking about where to begin. "I already told you that I had an older brother, Maynard and a younger brother, Tyler. As we got older, Maynard started becoming more and more, I guess the word I would use is scary, like he didn't have any inhibitions. It started out slow, but he would tell me to hurt our younger brother," Ward paused.

Would she think of him as a coward? He owed her the truth. She had earned the right to make an informed decision about him. "I was scared enough of him, that I would do what he told me. I figured that if it was me doing it, I could go easy on Tyler, while I knew that Maynard wouldn't hold back," he defended.

Skye tilted her head towards her SO, but otherwise didn't move. Ward continued, "My grandparents had an unsealed well a couple hundred yards behind their house. One day, he decided to throw Tyler in the well. When I heard Tyler screaming for help, I went and grabbed a rope, but Maynard wouldn't let me throw it in. Tyler's swimming was mediocre at best," Ward shook his head, trying to dislodge his little brothers' desperate voice, begging Grant to help him. Instead he focused his attention on his hand as it slowly spun his plate with his untouched food. "And that's what my nightmare was about," he concluded.

"Did he make it?" Skye asked, after realizing that he wasn't going to finish.

"In real life, I managed to sneak past Maynard and pull Tyler out in time," Ward explained.

The analyst knew that the nightmare version Tyler didn't make it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ward cleared his throat, deciding that they needed a change of subject. "Skye, you have to try and eat something. Simmons says your nutrition intake is still a little low. Do you want me to make you something else?" Ward offered. The analyst hadn't been eating much, if at all.

She remained silent, staring at the sandwich. Ward thought he had overstepped his place till he heard her quiet request. "One for one?" she asked, not looking up.

His heart skipped a beat, as he felt pride at the girl sitting next to him. But he simply replied with an, "Ok," and waited for her to continue and set the terms. He watched her struggle as she opened her mouth, but closed it, trying to rethink what she wanted to say.

Skye was a little shocked at herself. First off, she had walked into his room, out of her own volition. That in itself was shocking, and now she was offering to talk; something that the people at the facility had made sure she knew was not tolerated from day one. It had taken her stubborn mind three weeks to finally comply, her body not able to handle any more pain associated with her making any sounds.

As for the present situation, she blamed the time in the day. Her mind was obviously not functioning to its full capacity, but at the same time, she had already come this far.

Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "When they would give me the food, well it was crappy," she stated after a pause. "Sometimes they would put rotten food in the…bowl," Skye couldn't bare to look at her SO. He was asking her for the facts, so she took another calming breath in before clarifying in a quiet whisper, hoping that maybe he didn't hear it, "a dog bowl."

Ward tightened his hands into fists as he tried to get a hold of his emotions, caught by surprise. He swallowed the bile down at the next thought, but he knew he had to ask. "When we first found you, the bruise around your neck," he paused, trying to find the right way to ask, instead only one word came out, "Collar?"

Skye bit her lip. What if he became disgusted by her? She fought the fear, reminding herself that they had kept her around this long, even after knowing what had been done to her, what she had been a apart of. She subconsciously wrapped her arms around her abdomen before nodding. "They mainly used that in the shower," she quietly whispered, shrugging it off and wondering if that piece of information made any difference.

Ward simply continued to open and close his fists, each time allowing his nails to dig deeper into his palm. He remained silent as he tried to get a hold of his rage. Oh how he wished he could get his hands on any one of the guards for even a minute. He would make that minute seem like an eternity for them.

Taking a deep breath, he refocused his attention on the present situation, knowing it wouldn't do her any good if he remained silent any longer. He knew she was downplaying it, but didn't say anything. It was his turn.

He was a little worried about what he would tell her, but he owed her. _One for one, _he reminded himself. "Anything particular you want to know?" he offered. It was only fair since she had done the same thing.

"What happened to Tyler?" Skye asked after contemplating the offer and choosing the lighter of the two subjects.

Ward let out a little chuckle. "He is currently in Michigan working as a counselor," he couldn't help the smile that popped on his face. He was proud of his kid brother.

Skye figured she was on a roll, gaining confidence with each minute that she wasn't being scolded. "Do you visit?" she asked, having never been to Michigan herself.

"He's reached out a few times, but," Ward sighed in frustration, he'd never talked about this to anyone. "I can't get over the guilt," he finally admitted it out loud for the first time. "I know he's forgiven me, but its not something that I'm ready to forgive myself for."

Skye remained silent. She had never had a family, with everyone constantly changing. A part of her wanted to tell him to get over it and not waste anymore time, but then she would remind herself where she had been the last 7 months. She had no right to say anything.

The silence stretched between them as they both contemplated what they had just heard. "Hmm I got an idea. How about a bite for bite?" Ward suggested, noticing that neither of them had touched their sandwiches.

His rookie finally looked his way, sizing him up. He couldn't resist the smile. "Ok, for normal meals type of food, 2 bites for me for every one bite from you. And for snacks, we'll try one for one. I'll even let you lead," he added as an incentive.

Skye tensed, pangs of anxiety starting to creep up. She couldn't help but to think what would happen if she couldn't keep up. And if she was leading, what if she didn't eat enough?

Ward noticed the small subtle changes and quickly caught on. "No consequences, I promise. We'll just do it for this meal," he added gently.

She looked up, surprised before hesitantly nodding. With nervous hands, she picked up her sandwich and took a small bite, doing everything she could to not think about it. She watched as his hands reached for his food and followed the sandwich all the way to his face, where he stuffed half of it in his mouth in one bite. The mayonnaise oozed out on his lip, and before she could catch herself, an "ewww" slipped out of her mouth.

Her body didn't have time to react to her mistake before Ward placed a small dash of mayonnaise on her nose that had found its way onto his fingers. "We never said anything about proportions rookie," he happily explained around the food in his mouth, the smile on her face already counted as a big success.

She wiped the mayonnaise away, the small smile remained etched on her face. Picking up her sandwich again, this time with more confidence, she took a larger bite. Her gaze quickly went to Ward to see what he would do.

The SO knew that she needed a distraction before her mind focused on the fact that she was eating, so he stuffed the second half in his mouth. His rookie smiled at the site, before focusing her attention on her sandwich. He couldn't help the grin at watching her take another bite as he tried not to choke on the large piece of lettuce in his mouth.

**AN: **Aww our little rebel is talking…at 2 in the morning.

I love giving you choices, especially when I've contemplated the decision for way to long. So here we go: **a)** do you want a scene where Skye explains to Ward what happened at the shower room (cause there obviously wasn't enough angst in the last chapter) or **b)** should we just skip it, and I'll simply allude that the conversation happened and move on to a Coulson scene.

Either way, the Coulson scene will happen, just gets pushed back one chapter. I feel like Ward deserves an explanation, but….eh.

Please review and let me know what you thought! I hope you enjoyed!


	16. Chapter 16 Can't Let It Go

**AN:** First, _Thank You_ _so much _for the input! Second, I'm really glad I threw it out there as I was planning on jumping over to Coulson (after a long contemplation). Third, sorry for the extra wait, but here is an extra long chapter. Please don't expect this as the norm ;)

I'm sure you guessed it, shower scene won out. I was worried about prolonging the time to get to the plot/conflicts, but its good to know that majority of you guys are ok with that.

I found this chapter _extremely_ difficult to write, and so not sure how confident I am feeling about it (I blame Ward). I really hope it came out decent and the characters stayed in character. With that being said, I'm always ok with constructive criticism.

**Yra and ChibiRealm: **I added a little part here based on your comments. Hope you like it.

_**Warning:**_So it doesn't go into a lot of details….mild maybe?

**Chapter 16 Can't Let It Go**

Ward was on his third sandwich when he decided to decrease the size of his portions in order to keep up with his rookies bites. They had continued eating in silence, the older agent doing his best not to groan at how stuffed he was feeling. She only ate 3/4 's of her sandwich, but that was 3/4 's more than her usual.

"You ready to sleep?" Ward asked after giving her time to make sure that she was done eating. He felt a little dread as he waited for her answer.

Skye wasn't ready to end the first night where she felt somewhat normal as she participated in a conversation. She shook her head at his question.

Grabbing the plates and cleaning them off, "yeah, me neither," he replied with a smile, a part of him happy that he got to spend more time with his rookie and knowing that he hadn't screwed up yet.

If he was honest, he felt like crap half of the time, taking guesses at what she wanted and trying to anticipate her needs as she gave them little to no clues. Yesterday hadn't been the first time that he had accidentally set off a trigger, and yet it was the worst one; her terror filled face etched in his mind.

They moved over to the couches, deciding to put a quiet movie in, as not to disturb the others. With Frozen being in the DVD player already, Ward caught Skye up on the fact that this was the most recent Disney craze, one that Fitz had really gotten into.

As if hearing his name on cue, Fitz walked up the stairs at 4 in the morning, having just found the right place to stop his research and finally realizing what time it was. Just as he greeted the others, he saw the Disney logo displaying on the screen and proclaimed in his accent, "I love this movie! Especially the adorable little snowman and his adorable little hands!"

The engineer had been mainly avoiding the analyst as he worked tirelessly to try and track the faces of the guards from the flash drive May and Coulson had procured. Simmons had kept him updated and he had seen Skye during some of the meals, but each time he didn't have a clue as to what to say or do. He already had issues interacting with what some would call normal people, let alone with the analyst who for the last 7 months had probably seen them as the enemies.

Fitz didn't think that he could help her at all through socialization, but was determined to use all of his resources and knowledge to get the people who hurt Skye. After all, she was practically like a little sister to him.

So far he had had no luck, but he wasn't going to give up. He was still flabbergasted at how none of the guards' faces were found in the facial recognition database. A few days ago, he had finally tracked one of the names of the guards using a recognition program that was outside of the SHIELD agency. Unfortunately his search that lasted hours only lead him to realize that the name was a fake alias that lead to another dead end. It was as if these people didn't even exist.

Ward turned his attention to Fitz. "You don't even know if that's the movie that's in there. All you saw is the Disney castle," the specialist stated, wondering where he was getting his random inference. He couldn't help remembering how his rookie used to do the same thing, taking random guesses before confidently defending them as if they weren't chosen by chance.

He had shown her landscapes, attempting to teach her how to spot the best vantage points. When he asked her to pick a position where she thought would be a good place for a stake out of a complex on a map, she had stared at the satellite footage for a few minutes before deciding with certainty. On her first pick, she had surprisingly chosen the most strategically high ground and he had been so proud. The pride only lasted about a minute till she admitted that she had used the 'eenie meenie miney moe' method. Yes, she had used the word 'method'. Drove the specialist nuts sometimes, as he was left speechless yet again.

Wards attention was pulled back to the scientist as he began talking.

"Hey Agent Ward. Are you sick of Frozen references?" the Scottish man asked, trying to contain a smile like a little kid waiting to deliver the punch line that only he would laugh at. "Just…let it go," he stated, pausing for emphasis.

Not two seconds later, Fitz had to duck as a pillow flew towards his head.

Holding his hands up in surrender, "Okay, okay, I get it. Geesh no one appreciates good humor," he mumbled as he began walking away. "Goodnight or morning, or whatever it is," he waved his hand as he headed towards his bunk to get some shut eye.

Skye had silently watched the short interaction. She didn't really mind Fitz. He mainly stayed in the lab and he never had anything in his hands when he came around, both of which she was ok with.

Ward started to get a little worried as Skye hadn't said anything since moving to what they had dubbed as the 'living room'. He couldn't help but to question every move that he made, feeling unconfident in what his rookie needed. May had told him to take it one step at a time, observe Skye and stay away from the known triggers; that he needed her trust more right now than to help 'fix' her.

Of course she had made it sound so easy, as if everyone was as compartmentalized as she was.

As he sat there through the first song, an internal war raged on inside of Ward, contemplating if he should bring up the shower room incident. She was opening up, even held a conversation and ate! Did he really want to push?

And yet, if he knew the triggers, he could help. He decided he would push a little, and see where it went.

Pausing the movie, he turned slightly towards his rookie who had remained staring at the screen. "That day, when we were sitting by the shower room. Can you tell me what happened?" Ward kept his voice gentle.

He waited as she began to fiddle with her sleeve, her hands rested on her drawn up knees. "I had a flashback," she replied, keeping her voice low.

"One that involved me…or at least the fake version of me," he stated more than asked, the panic he had seen in her eyes when he had reached out to her still fresh in his mind.

Skye stopped playing with her sleeve. He watched her eyes shift away from him, the only indication she gave him that she was thinking about the answer. She nodded.

Ward fought his preservation instincts that were begging him to let it go. He had found out enough tonight and she had been through enough. Did he really want to know what they had done to her and written off as his work that would cause her to show that fear?

He didn't have a hard time admitting that he was scared to learn the truth. A part of him wanted a little break as they sat on the couch with a movie running in the background, pretending that they were normal. It was the same selfish part of him that wanted to hide behind ignorance; _at least just for tonight,_ it argued.

And then there was the disciplined agent that wanted to push a little more; to gather Intel so that he could do everything in his power to prevent her from going through that again. If he knew what had set it off, he could change the environment, change how he acted, change…change everything that could be changed. Knowing the triggers could aid him to stop being so helpless, maybe even find ways to get her some more control back.

He had to at least ask. "Sometimes it helps if you talk about them. Lets your subconscious' grip ease a little. I'm not going to make you, of course." He threw it out there and waited. This was as far as he was going to push.

Skye began soundlessly tapping her fingers on her knees. She had already broken a lot of rules today, but this one was different. Would he get angry that she had connected the flashback with him, even if they looked exactly the same? If this was 100% the real Ward, did he really want to know what they had done and claimed it was him? Would it really help ease her fears even a little?

Skye contemplated all of the aspects, and yet a part of her began pointing out that some of her expectations and assumptions were based on the other versions of the team. Here, she had been pushing the boundaries inch by inch and they hadn't reacted at all.

He watched her hesitantly scoot closer to him. With his body still facing the analyst, she slowly reached her hand out towards his abdomen. Ward immediately tensed, worried that they might have a repeat of the last movie night. Did she not understand that he wouldn't do that to her? He was tempted to grab her hand and push it away. And yet, they had come so far, Ward decided. He would give her a little more leeway, stopping her if he needed to.

Before her hand could reach him, he simply stated her name, trying to convey… he wasn't sure. He just needed her to think and understand that she didn't have to do anything.

Skye stopped her advancement mid air, contemplating if he was warning her. Thinking it over, she decided that he wanted her to talk and she needed to check.

He let out a breath of relief as his rookie simply reached to his side to grab the hem of his shirt. She pulled it up, revealing his abdomen. Unsure of what to do, Ward tried to remain as still as he could. He felt the tips of her fingers brush his abs, before he jumped. Skye immediately pulled her hand back, tense.

"I'm ticklish, remember?" Ward stated in a gentle voice. He saw her relax slightly after the explanation before reaching out again, this time with more confidence. He tensed his abdomen, readying himself. Pressing firmly on his abs, she seemed satisfied with her findings before pulling his shirt back down and resting her forehead on her knees.

Ward patiently waited. He was confused, no doubt about it, but he would let her lead.

She kept her head down, her mind whirling with all of the options set before her. "The other Ward," she stopped herself. Did she want them to know? This was something that she could hold onto.

Grant flinched at hearing about the _other him_. When he found that bastard…oh how he dreamed about it.

"Is usually a little more chubby," she finished. "Him having abs never made sense, now that I think about," she quietly stated the last part to herself, realizing more and more just how much those drugs messed her up.

Resting her chin on her knees, she kept her stare to the ground. This was it. If he hadn't turned away in disgust from her before, this would for sure do it. But at least she would know, she argued weakly.

"I had messed up," Skye started quietly. At Ward's silence, she began to clarify, "I kicked Coulson, the fake Coulson down there. He had been pissed and…" Skye took a deep breath, as she remembered him dragging her from his bedroom to the guards.

"He threw me in the guards break room, told them I was theirs for the next few hours," she continued, a few tears slipping out that she quickly wiped away.

Ward felt his stomach drop, as he swallowed down the bile. He did his best to concentrate on the pain of his nails digging deeper and deeper into his palms, trying to fight the red that was attempting to take over his vision. He couldn't lose control; he would not and could not let that happen. Especially not now when she was just starting to trust him.

God, how he just wanted to hold her and take her far away from anything that could even hurt her a little, but he knew that wasn't realistic. He turned his attention back to her voice, already having to use every technique he had ever learned to focus.

"They sent me to FitzSimmons after. I'm not sure what they did exactly other than giving me a few shots," she continued quietly. Skye had been feeling so numb at that point, everything feeling unreal.

Ward heard her take a deep breath before continuing. "That's when the other Ward showed up and drag…took me to the shower room," she stated, watching his reaction closely from her periphery. "He thanked me for entertaining the guards," he had barely heard her state before she shuttered at the memory.

Biting her lip, she tried to prepare herself for Ward's reaction. "I was supposed to stay with the other Ward that night, and he wanted me clean," she half whispered. That was as far as she was willing to explain that part, not wanting to think about how disgusting she was to him.

Skye stole a quick glance at her SO when she noticed his breathing change as he inhaled through his nose and breathed out from his mouth, his glare fixed at the wall. She contemplated if she should stop, but then she reminded herself that she had come this far and the sooner she got this over with, the better.

The specialist closed his eyes as he put on the mask that he had almost perfected. He wanted to beg her to not continue, and yet he needed to know and she needed to talk about it.

"When he told me to get into the shower, I was tired and wasn't thinking," she began again, her voice slightly shaking. "I tried walking to the shower, which wasn't allowed by him," she quietly explained.

He already knew about the dog collar and could make the connection without her having to state it. Ward didn't think there were enough punching bags that he could demolish that would help him feel a little less anger and hate towards those bastards.

"He filled the tub with cold water and held me under." She couldn't help the shiver at the memory of him forcing her head beneath the water. Skye took a deep breath, having to remind herself that she wasn't there.

"Kept apologizing, saying he didn't want to hurt me but that I kept messing up. And that's when it ended," she finished quickly, her entire body tense as she hugged her knees.

How many times had he apologized to his rookie since they had gotten her back? Had they even meant anything to her, knowing it was coming from him? They had tried to make her believe that the punishments were because of her wrong doings, and they had succeeded as he remembered all of the times that she had flinched, waiting for a hit, or begged for forgiveness over things that held no significance.

"Skye," Ward desperately pleaded, reaching towards the analyst, unsure of how to fix everything, but needing to do something.

She visibly flinched, and Ward drew his hand back.

Taking a shaky breath, he turned away from his rookie, before getting up from the couch and walking towards the windows where he stopped. His mind began screaming at him, _what the hell are you doing! Don't you dare leave her alone!_ But his body wouldn't respond. He felt the depression seeping in slowly, the anger being taken over. It was the same depression that he had fought off for the last 7 months. The same depression that accompanied his feelings of being a failure. A failure to protect his own rookie. A rookie that he had stepped up and taken under his wing. He had pushed the feelings aside for so long, willing himself daily to focus on finding her. And now they had. Only it was 7 months too late.

His chest felt heavy, the effort of breathing becoming so tiresome as he realized that's how she saw him. All those times she had flinched or tensed at his presence being near her.

The voice inside his head continued as it got desperate with each passing second. _Get over yourself; you can deal with this later! _

He knew he should walk over and sit down, _leaving just the right amount of distance between us_, he thought bitterly.

He was surprised when he barely heard her quiet whisper, "Are you mad?"

_Way to go Grant! _He reprimanded himself. Walking back over to the couch, he plopped down where he had been originally sitting. "Not at you Skye, not ever. None of this was your fault rookie," he frantically explained, trying to fix his screw up.

Skye nodded, her attention on her knees.

"Skye, I would never ever force you to do anything. You know that that wasn't me, don't you?" he desperately asked.

"Cause you're not chubby," she quietly replied with a slight hint of a question.

Ward let out a little chuckle. Leave it to his rookie to make him laugh when all he wanted to do was cry out of frustration.

It hadn't gone past Ward that she hadn't stated that she knew it wasn't him.

"I'm sorry I flinched away," she whispered, catching him off guard.

Ward tensed his jaw before reassuring her that she had nothing to apologize for. He saw that she was still extremely tense, but didn't know what he should do about it.

"Skye, I want to help, but to be honest, I don't know how," he whispered. Ward felt so vulnerable at just admitting that, and yet she had gone above and beyond. He couldn't help but to admire the girl sitting less than a foot away.

She bit her lip, "you're not disgusted?" she whispered, not at all expecting the previous statement he made.

He shook his head, before realizing that she wasn't looking up. "Not at all. What they did, it wasn't your fault," he restated, finally catching a glimpse into what her fears were focusing on. "Like I said, you are stuck with us for as long as you'll have us. As far as we are concerned, this is your home."

Skye chewed over that statement before she scooted over towards him and stared at his arm till he took the hint and lifted it up. His rookie curled up on his side, resting her hand on his abdomen before he gently wrapped his arm around her small figure. He felt her tense up.

"Would you change your mind if I told you there were 27 guards," she whispered, scared of the answer. She had to know that he knew all of the facts.

Ward grinded his teeth till he felt the pain radiate to his temple. Pulling the analyst closer to him, "Nope, you're still stuck with us," he replied just as quiet.

He felt the depression ease up as he felt her cuddle into his side and relax.

The silence ensued for a few minutes before she pulled him away from his thoughts. "What was Fitz talking about?" she asked, resting her head on his side.

"Oh you'll find out real soon," he stated before pressing the play button.

This time when he rested his head on top of hers, she didn't flinch.

*******AoS*******

After she had fallen asleep, he had carried her back to her room, still worried about how light she felt, yet happy that it was more than when they had first brought her back. Once she was tucked in, he headed over to the punching bag and pounded his anger away. He didn't even bother wrapping his knuckles. Not feeling the satisfaction that he craved, Ward turned to the nearest wall, focusing on the pain as it collided with his knuckles. He only managed to get a few punches in before he heard the sharp bite of Agent May's tone.

Ward didn't bother turning around. He rested his hands on the wall before hanging his head and trying to catch his breath.

"What happened?" Agent May asked, feeling a little sympathetic to the young specialist. Ever since Skye had been shot, they had come to a silent agreement, discontinuing any further activity. When the analyst had been kidnapped, the whole team had closed ranks as they supported one another after so many failed attempts of finding her.

"She told me about the flashback she had," he replied, refusing to share more. He finally turned around and allowed his exhausted body to slide down the wall.

Right then Simmons walked down the stairs, followed by a zombie looking Fitz who looked like he had been dragged out of bed. "Oh Ward, what did you do?" Simmons asked, as she headed over to the younger agent to inspect his hands before shaking her head.

"Ward, what will Skye think if she sees this?" Simmons gently asked the specialist. Ward just let out a sigh before getting up and following the scientist to the med lab to get his knuckles cleaned up and his wrist iced as Simmons claimed she could see the inflammation of his joint. She gave him a few pills and sent him off.

By the time he walked out, the wall was wiped down. It was nice to know that he could always count on May. His body felt so tired and numb as he walked by his rookies bunk to make sure she was ok before heading to his own to get some rest.

**AN:** Like it, hate it? Not really sure what I feel about it, but I hope you enjoyed!

Please review and let me know your thoughts!


	17. Chapter 17 Pushing Boundaries

**AN:** Thank you for all of the reviews and encouraging words! Glad you guys liked the last chapter and thought everyone stayed in character, as that is my biggest goal when it comes to writing :)

Do you think Ward will now be conscious of keeping his figure?

On to the story….

**Chapter 17 Pushing Boundaries**

Ward had started to worry when Skye had been back to her usual quiet self the next day. His fears from the previous day had begun to take root when he watched her flinch from him as he reached out to offer her lunch. He began to berate himself for pushing her too far when after the second day, he had gotten the same reaction.

His worries had escalated till he woke up at 2 am to find her standing at his doorway. She fidgeted on her feet before hesitantly asking, "are you hungry?"

He had immediately let out a breath of relief before getting up and following his rookie out of his room. The older agent stopped, surprised when she took a right turn when the kitchen was on the left side. Her entire body language was telling him she was extremely nervous about something as she turned back to see why he wasn't following.

Ward walked over to his rookie who was standing behind the couches to see a small table with two plates and sandwiches already made. Looking over to the back of the couch, he noticed the two pillows placed on the floor.

"I thought we could possibly try again, except this time…maybe you can stay on this side of the door?" She quietly requested.

Ward was left speechless at his rookie's…everything! The last two days he had been worried that he had set her back and here she was taking leaps, facing her fears. He simply nodded, his chest filled with pride as a grin made its way onto his face.

"Door open or closed?" he asked gently. He watched her contemplate the question and patiently waited.

"You won't leave?" she asked.

"I'll be right here the whole time," he promised.

"Ok," she replied, watching Ward walk over to the room and open the door. He turned the lights on before walking back and sitting down next to the analyst. They leaned against the couch and he watched as her gaze would drift from the door to his feet and back.

Ward remained hyper vigilant of Skye, ignoring the room that held no significance for him. There were a few times when her stare would linger on the open doorway, as her bodies stress response would begin to kick in. Having learned the small subtle signs that clearly spelled out that she was in distress, he would distract her and pull her attention away from the room.

"Did you know that you can see the Eiffel Tower from outer space?" he stated when she had stopped breathing for a few seconds and her fingers had begun to curl up into tight fists.

Her attention slightly lingered on the doorway before she realized what he had said.

Ward waited till she looked at him, confusion and disbelief evident on her face. "Maybe…," he added. "Ok…probably not," he finally admitted, shrugging. The specialist couldn't help the little chuckle that escaped when he saw her face concentrated in thought, trying to imagine seeing the structure from outer space.

Her shoulders slightly relaxed before she turned her gaze back to the room.

After an hour or so, he finally heard her speak. "Can we close it?" She quietly asked before adding a, "please." It broke his heart to hear how timid her voice sounded. Ward immediately got up and closed the door, before walking back to the hactivist whose gaze had not left the room.

"It should be a pretty clear night out. What do you say we go by the windows?" He asked, trying to pull her thoughts away from the door.

After seeing her small nod, he grabbed the plates and led the way to the flight seats that were really hardly used, before setting the food down and taking a seat. His rookie followed, plopping down next to him. Without another word, they silently ate and he let her lead.

*******AoS*******

She walked down the stairs and stormed over towards him, with what appeared to be his Captain America mug. Coulson closed the file in his hands as he raised a curious eyebrow.

She looked at the mug in her shaking hand and then she focused her gaze on him before she raised her arm in the air and smashed the mug on the floor of the plane. She kept her eyes on his face as his eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion, his focus on the cup for a split second. He immediately looked up when he noticed the movement out of his peripheral vision.

Skye was backing up till she came in contact with the wall behind her. Her jaw was set, like she was trying to prove something. But what haunted him was the fear in her eyes, staring straight at him. She was waiting for him to make the next move.

Coulson got up slowly, walked past the young girl, and headed to his office. He resisted looking at her fear stricken face after hearing her take in a deep breath to prepare herself as he got closer. The older agent didn't want anymore images added to his nightmares.

He jogged up the stairs and came back in less than a minute. "You forgot the other one," the older agent stated as he held out another mug that looked similar to the first one. Her gaze moved from the mug to his face, where she saw the soft half smile that screamed Coulson; A smile that the fake Coulson couldn't have reproduced in a million years. Once he had her attention he continued, "They're a set". The second cup smashed next to the first, the broken pieces mixing.

Skye bit her lip. This was definitely not how she had expected things to happen. "Aren't you mad?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"They're just some mugs Skye," Coulson replied gently, matching her volume. "Although, if you want to break some more things, I suggest we grab something that's Simmons'."

She tilted her head in confusion as she looked up. Coulson smiled and leaned back on the chair behind him. "Well May….I don't think I need to explain why we shouldn't touch her stuff. Just between me and you, she kind of scares me." Coulson watched as Skye bit her lip, trying to fight a smile and resisting an eye roll of _duh, she scares everyone_. Inside he was ecstatic but he remained calm as he continued his musings. "Ward, well, you remember the last time that you and Simmons tried to sneak in his room?"

Oh did she ever! The guy was paranoid! He had an alarm system that was triggered by contact with invisible laser lines. He said it was to keep people from sneaking into his room. Can you believe that guy? Their rooms were only maybe, 5 ft by 7 ft. Who would even want to sneak into that, she had argued. Ward had simply raised an eyebrow, before shaking his head and walking away.

Skye tucked her head, hiding the smile that she couldn't contain at the memory and her ridiculous argument.

"And well, then there's Fitz," Coulson crossed his arms, as if he was really giving this whole thing some thought. "Do you remember that one time that we touched his… now what was it that he called it?" He stared off, trying to remember.

"The uh… the good night junior?" Skye more asked than answered in a soft voice that Coulson strained to hear. He watched her tense up again. The ball was in his court. She was testing him to see what he would do. He added 'talking in his presence' right after the 'don't look him in the eye' to the list of things that Skye thought she wasn't allowed to do around him.

Cutting the pause in between short, "Right! That's what it was!" he said with a smile as he let out a little snort and shook his head. "Yes the goodnight junior."

"Can you keep a secret?" He half whispered. She looked up out of sheer surprise at his request and he took advantage, not waiting for her to flinch and look away. "I was the one who broke it…. I was trying to turn the holotable on." Coulson remembered walking in to the science duos favorite room looking for the duo themselves, only to find the room empty. He managed to take two steps towards the door before his curiosity had gotten the best of him and he turned back. He had walked up to the table, looking very suspicious as he checked his surroundings, making sure no one was around.

The team leader shook his head at the memory. "After saying random lines didn't work in turning it on, I kind of started…" he paused, trying to find the right words that would leave him with some dignity. "I guess you could call it waving my hands," he continued. He watched Skye biting her lip again while resisting a small smile. "I thought, maybe, it was motion activated?" the older agent shrugged as he explained his reasoning.

"There's an on button," Skye added helpfully.

"Oh. That's actually, surprisingly simple." Coulson stored that piece of information away for later. "Well, while I was waving my hands, you can guess what happened. I mean I always tell them to clean up their spaces. Who leaves that on the edge of a holotable?" He defended himself, not really trying. "And then…"

He didn't have to finish the story. Skye remembered Fitz walking into his lab for less than 30 seconds before coming out, flustered. "Who….Who…do you have any idea how long I spent on this?" Fitz practically squealed, holding an object in his hand. Skye was pretty sure if a dog had been around, he would be running for cover. She had wondered what the range of a monkey's hearing was.

"It's alright Fitz," Jemma jumped in with a smile on her face, trying to contain the situation. "I'm sure it was an accident and I can help you fix it. It will be as good as new, possibly even better!" she continued. "With maybe a better name," she muttered under her breath. Then began the ten minute lecture in a high pitched Scottish accent of the calibration that had gone into creating junior and how he was one of a kind. If they hadn't known any better, Fitz could have been talking about his long lost son.

"It took me at least 15 minutes to be able to get that ringing out of my head," Coulson continued, pulling Skye back to the present. "And thus why we shouldn't go after Fitz' stuff. With the process of elimination, we are left with sweet Simmons."

"Hmm Simmons who can't tell a lie to save her life. Who is always able to see the positive in everything." Coulson paused, already feeling just a little guilty. Skye frowned as she leaned against the wall, this time relaxed. She knew Simmons was off the table as well.

"On second thought, I have a few more mugs up in my office?" Coulson offered, tilting his head slightly at the thought.

Skye just stared at him. This was him. This was _her_ Coulson. The real Coulson that had taken her in and given her something that she had sought out her entire life, a place that she could belong and be accepted. A family. Even after she had messed up, he had let her stay. The only person who had stuck around and seen something in her.

Coulson took a hesitant step towards Skye when he saw the tears, but stopped himself.

She let the tears fall, and just as she had suspected and hoped for, there was no threat following the show of emotion. "Are you real?" She asked in a broken whisper, as a quiet sob escaped.

"Oh Skye," Coulson was fighting everything inside of him not to close the gap between them. "I promise I'm real. I would never do anything to hurt you. You're my family Skye. You're part of this family." He put everything into those words, trying to convey to her what she meant to him.

With her arms wrapped tightly around her abdomen, Skye closed her eyes as she tried to quiet her sobs. She slowly slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest. "You're real," she whispered more to herself than him.

Coulson took a few steps to get closer, still leaving a couple of feet in between, before crouching down in front of her. "I'm real," he replied. She put her head on her knees and cried like she hadn't cried in a long time.

It hurt so bad to not be able to hold her and tell her that it was all going to be ok, beg her to come back to them, to him, like she had done when he had been begging to die. He moved over and sat with his back against the wall, still leaving some space between them. He wouldn't leave her.

**AN:** Yes, that did just happen :)

Please review and let me know what you thought! Hope you enjoyed!


	18. Chapter 18 Agents and a Cowboy

**AN: **Wow! The response to the last chapter was definitely unexpected, but I'm glad that you guys enjoyed it! Thank you for all of the feedback and letting me know!

Clarification to last chapter: Coulson was the one who broke the second mug. I honestly couldn't see Skye feeling brave enough to reach out and take it from him as their relationship is still in the making. Sorry about the confusion. Back to the story…

**Chapter 18 Agents and a Cowboy**

Ward walked to the TV lounge to find Skye already there. He jumped over the couch, sitting down next to her. "I think its your turn to choose the movie," the specialist plopped his feet up, making himself comfortable as he handed her the remote. He felt her tense up.

_What if I choose the wrong thing, _she bit her lip contemplating if Ward would really care what she chose.

Not a minute later FitzSimmons showed up, looking suspicious with their hands behind their backs, as Skye had begun flipping through the TV guide. Ward raised an eyebrow at the duo.

"Ladies first," Fitz stated giving Simmons a smile reserved specifically for her.

"Aww well thank you Fitz," Simmons replied as she pulled out a neon green and yellow plastic gun from behind her, Fitz following her lead. "Look at what we found," Simmons stated, pointing the water gun towards the sitting pair.

"Simmons, don't you dare…" Ward wasn't able to finish as the duo opened fire. He turned his body, placing himself in between the water and Skye. His back was soaked. _How were they not out of water already!_ Ward wondered to himself. He looked at Skye who had still gotten hit despite his best efforts, but nevertheless had a smile on her face. He decided it was worth it.

The two scientists ran off laughing. Ward turned his attention back to Skye, "I…I think I've been hit," he stated dramatically before laying on his back with his head in her lap. Being as dramatic as possible, he finished in a quiet whisper, "I'm not going to make it." He closed his eyes, his hand resting on his heart.

Skye smiled at the theatrics, was even a little tempted to role her eyes till his head hit her lap. She closed her eyes, fighting the memories of the time she had been 'allowed' on the couch, but it was no use; they had told her that it was a reward for her being good, like some kind of dog.

Ward opened his eyes to see Skye staring blankly straight ahead. He felt the slight shudder that ran through her body. Sitting up, he turned towards his trainee.

_Crap what did I do this time,_ Ward thought to himself, frustrated that every time they would take a step forward, they got slammed back a few steps. _Way to ruin it Grant._

Trying to get her back to the present, Ward asked with a small smile on his face, "who are you and what have you done with Skye?"

The hactivist refocused her attention on her SO and the question that required an answer. "I'm your property, yours to do with as you see fit," she automatically stated. Wards smile dropped instantly. He looked up to see Coulson standing behind the couch, having heard the analyst's reply.

Skye closed her eyes tightly and began biting her lip at the realization of what she had just said. Ward moved to sit on the table in front of her. "Skye, its ok. You're ok," he stated.

She kept her eyes closed and shook her head. He couldn't be farther from the truth.

Coulson moved to the front of the couch sitting next to Skye.

"Hey, can you open your eyes for me?" Ward gently requested. "You're not there anymore."

She complied with his request as she stared at the ground, feeling pathetic. "Skye, you don't belong to anyone. What they said isn't true at all," Coulson jumped in. "What they did is wrong and the blame solely rests with them and them alone. You didn't do anything wrong."

May was about to walk into the living area when she heard the words from Coulson. She stayed hidden in the background, watching the scene unfold.

Keeping her gaze on the ground, "I don't belong to anyone," she said in an unsure whisper, as if testing the words. She wished that she could believe it. Between the nightmares and the memories that would clutch to her conscious mind, she had a really hard time believing that she was her own person and not what they had turned her into.

"Now this time I want you to say it like you mean it," Coulson gently challenged.

"I…" her mouth felt dry. "I don't belong to anyone," Skye stated with a little more confidence. She took in a deep breath as a few tears slipped out, her gaze slowly rising. Being able to say the statement out loud, let alone being encouraged to say it, it felt surreal.

Coulson reached out and gave her hand that was resting in between them a brief encouraging squeeze. He immediately jerked his hand away from hers when he realized what he had subconsciously done. Skye slowly pulled her hand back and placed it in her lap. The older agent berated himself for such a dumb move. He'd promised himself that he would let her lead, but had let his guard down for a split second.

The silence ensued, each caught up in their own thoughts. Skye reached up and wiped the few remaining tears that had made their way down, feeling stupid for the whole thing.

"I have an extra water gun or two in my room. What do you say we get a little payback?" Ward asked in a quiet voice.

"You have a water gun? In your room?" Coulson asked slowly, a little surprised at his no nonsense, usually stoic agent. "What are you, five?" he continued with a raised eyebrow.

Ward shrugged. He thinks it's the best response when your maturity is questioned to be that of a five year old, other than the possibility of sticking your tongue out. "They started it," he defended, sounding like a little child who had been wronged.

The whole interaction, even if out of character for both of them is worth it when they see the smallest of smiles on Skye's face.

"Let's get'em," Ward stated with a triumphant grin of his own, knowing that he was able to help make her smile again.

"Just try not to break anything," Coulson added, not wanting to face Fury.

Skye and Ward had started heading over to Wards bunk, when she stopped immediately. She turned around and walked up to Coulson, who had just gotten off the couch. Biting her lip nervously, she threw her arms around the senior agent for the briefest of hugs, as he heard her say, "Thanks," quietly. She was tense, but he managed to gently hug her back for a split second before she was out of his arms again and walking back to Ward.

Ward smiled at the interaction, not only because of knowing that it meant a lot to the older agent, but because of the large steps Skye was taking in getting her old life back. He knew that she wouldn't be the same, how could anyone not change after everything that she had been through? But slowly, she was beginning to trust them and allowing them to support her. As long as she was happy and safe, he would accept whoever she wanted to be.

"You did good Rookie," he stated when she reached him, a nervous smile on her face. They walked side by side towards his room while keeping an eye out for the two mad scientists.

"She hugged me," May heard the quiet admission from the senior agent. "She actually hugged me, and all on her own," Coulson disbelievingly continued as he turned towards May, unable to conceal the huge smile on his face.

May had to resist an eye roll, having seen this coming, but she simply smiled back at him in celebration of the large step that Skye took.

She walked farther into the room, leaning on the back of the couch, facing the other agent. "We could show them how it's really done," she offered with a genuine and rare Agent Melinda May smile.

Coulson turned towards her, surprised yet again, "You have water guns to?" How did everyone have water guns, except for him? Was he just not cool enough?

She simply shrugged her shoulder in reply as Coulson reached for his tie, loosening it. "I guess it could be considered an educational experience," the team leader decided.

They walked towards the storage room where May went in to find their weapons. Coulson took his jacket off, carefully folding it, and placing it on the back of one of the chairs. May came out with two water guns in less than a minute, offering one of them to Coulson who began to reach out for it but stopped when he noticed the wrinkle in the jacket. After straightening the jacket, he finally took the gun from May, who simply smiled with one eyebrow raised. _You can always count on Coulson to be Coulson, _she thought to herself. His only reply was a simple shrug.

"Lets go and shoot us some lower level agents," Coulson stated in what May guessed was an attempt at a western accent. Grabbing his loose black tie, he placed it at this forehead, with the flap in the back, before tightening it. May couldn't help the small laugh that came out at how ridiculous he looked. She shook her head before stating, "Lets go cowboy," as she lead them to the hangar.

*******AoS*******

After making sure that they weren't followed, the two scientists went to the lab. "Wow Fitz, it really worked. Your idea of using the compression chamber was brilliant! We didn't even run out of water!" Simmons complimented her partner in crime.

"Not as brilliant as your idea of using the net negative charge of water molecules to…," Fitz was interrupted by the water hitting the back of his head.

The two scientists turned around to find Ward and Skye geared up with their own water guns. "Pay back," Ward stated before opening fire.

*******AoS*******

Coulson and May followed the noise and stayed hidden as they watched their targets hide behind the transportation vehicles. "They better not hit Lola," Coulson muttered.

"I can't believe they left the higher ground to hide behind cars," May quietly added, a shadow of a smile playing on her lips.

"Rookie mistake," Coulson stated before they both stood at the railing, each taking aim at one group. The lower level agents didn't know what hit them.

The scientists joined forces with Skye and Ward, as they all aimed up. Coulson had forgotten how much he loved his team and the way that they did things on the Bus. Within a few minutes, everyone had exhausted their water sources.

"That was fun!" Jemma stated, as she squeezed the water from her hair. "And sir, may I say, you look absolutely ridiculous!" the whole groups attention focused on the team leader's tie.

Coulson reached up, loosening the tie, "You know it intimidated you."

**AN:** Sorry it's not as progressing in the plot world, but I do have my exam tomorrow and it's a little hard to focus. Besides, how could I resist a water fight on the BUS? Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Please review and let me know your thoughts :)


	19. Chapter 19 Of Talks & Sessions

**AN: **Thank you for all of the reviews! Last chapter was a bit of an odd chapter, but I hope you guys were able to chuckle at least. I'm happy to say that I found out yesterday that I passed my boards :) Now I just wait for the official license. Thanks for all of the encouragement throughout this crazy process.

I'm going to _attempt_ to make this story line move a little faster. Lets see how it goes. On to the story, hope you like it…

**Chapter 19 Of Talks & Sessions**

Ward finished changing first only to find Coulson standing outside of his bunk. "Hey got a minute?" Coulson asked, not waiting for a reply as he lead Ward to a small conference room.

"I've noticed that you and Skye have gotten a lot closer, not just emotionally but physically as well," Coulson started, going straight to the point.

Ward stood taller when he heard what the subject was, tempted to go on the defense.

"At first I was really worried that with the increased frequency that she might come to depend on it, but then I see the little signs of how she still thinks the team is going to turn on her," Coulson continued, "and how its easier to reassure her that we are on her side when you're by her side giving her some comfort."

Ward stared at the ground before sighing and looking up. "She's tense around me unless I'm holding her," he sadly admitted. "She's still scared of me Coulson. Its like she thinks if I'm not holding her, I might choose to hurt her," the specialist explained, a bit of frustration seeping into his voice. "But, when she turns to me for just a little comfort, I'm not going to take that away. Not with everything that's happened to her. Anytime something goes wrong, she goes on the defense. Hell, Fitz accidentally knocked his fork on the ground and she held her breath waiting for someone to blame her. Its all that I can offer her, Sir," Ward finished, his voice having gotten quieter by the end.

"I understand that and I'm not going to ask you to stop, but I just want you to be careful. Not only from what happened to her this last year, but her whole life she's been starved of attention and contact; first moving from foster home to foster home and now these bastards have turned even the most innocent forms of contact into a negative association in her mind. She's slowly getting there in trusting the team and whatever we are doing is working," Coulson clarified as his mind went to the brief hug she had given him, replaying it for the 10th time that day.

Ward began to fidget as he shifted his weight uncomfortably. He had to tell him. "A few weeks ago, I woke up with her on top of me trying to kiss me and undo my pants," Ward blurted out. Before the older agent could process the words, the specialist was speaking again. "Coulson, she was crying and shaking."

Coulson ran a tired hand down his face as he shook his head. Ward continued, "I stopped her, which only freaked her out more that I didn't want her. She said that it was all that she had to offer. She was worried that we would get sick of her and send her back. For seven months all she's heard is how she was useless and no one would want her after she was 'used up'," he air quoted to emphasize them not being his words.

"So when you stopped her, she thought they might be right," Coulson finished, trying to keep his frustrations in.

"Yeah," Ward agreed. "I reassured her that she had nothing to pay back, but I'm not sure how much of that went through."

Coulson took a moment to process the words. "There is a fine line and she isn't in the right mindset to be able to see it. My standards for you are a lot higher. You're a good man Ward," he replied, "but if you even slightly hurt or take advantage of…"

"I'll jump out of the plane without a chute first, Sir," Ward interrupted. He had no intention of hurting his rookie, and the idea of taking advantage of her just disgusted him.

Coulson nodded and walked away, glad that they were both on the same page, and yet, having a whole lot more to think about.

*******AoS*******

"Sir, you called us?" Ward walked in with Skye to the conference table where everyone else was waiting along with a middle aged looking man. Once in the room, Skye took a small subconscious step towards her SO, while Ward immediately sized up the white haired, casually dressed man.

Coulson nodded. "This is Dr. Laredo, a SHIELD therapist," Coulson introduced.

"It's a pleasure," the Doc stated, sticking out his hand to which Ward simply raised his eyebrow, before turning his gaze to the team leader.

"The higher ups have ordered that Skye gets counseling," Coulson stated in a 'matter of fact' tone, not happy with the orders himself.

"I completely understand that you as a team have developed a routine as this is your home, and all I can promise is to try my best not to disturb that routine. With the present situation, I think it is best that Skye remains here, on the plane with her team in a familiar environment, and I will be advocating for that," the therapist explained as he made eye contact with each person present member, excluding the analyst who refused to look away from the table. He needed them to understand that he wasn't the enemy.

From the few minutes that he had seen Skye, he had immediately noticed her shift towards her SO, which meant if her SO saw him as a threat, he wouldn't be able to get through to the analyst much. If he was honest, with what he had read in the files, he was surprised that she had taken a deliberate step closer to her supervising officer, but Laredo decided there would be plenty of time to analyze that later. He continued with his explanation, "However the council and SHIELD protocols do require counseling to personnel, especially one that is staying on the field."

"We're on a plane," Fitz interjected, looking at the others disbelievingly as he pointed out the technicality. Its not like they were throwing Skye on a mission.

Laredo was beginning to understand what SHIELD had meant when they had warned him how the team might react to his presence, especially with the encounter from the previous therapist. "I say field in the term of not being on a secure base," he explained, after Coulson had simply stared back at him when Laredo thought that the team leader would jump in. He definitely wasn't welcomed here, but being liked wasn't his primary goal.

"We'll start off slow, with a one hour session, and go from there." This was going to be a long road, but he was in it for the long haul.

*******AoS*******

The first few sessions hadn't lead anywhere. Skye would stare off as the man tried to cajole her to communicate. He knew that she talked, not frequently mind you; but he had witnessed it himself as had heard the analyst and her training officer discussing the proportions of food. Apparently a game or deal of some sort that was leading to Agent Ward gaining a few extra pounds.

He was still astounded by the relationship that had developed between Skye and her SO. How could she willingly walk towards everything that her automatic reactions had been trained to run away from? He observed how she tensed around Coulson, Ward, and sometimes May. He caught the slight hesitation in her foot as it twitched, getting ready to take a step back; but mainly Laredo was surprised when he saw her tense her jaw in determination before going against her instincts. The fear was obviously there and yet she would push past it, forcing herself to sit in their presence.

It just didn't make any sense. She had only been back for less than two months, and having seen the feed from her first day back in the med lab as she cowered away from Coulson and fought her way off of the table, he was astonished at how far she had come.

It didn't help that Skye refused to talk to him, her body language screamed that she didn't trust him in the slightest as she sat all the way back in her chair, eyes always staring past his right shoulder; the perfect place for her to keep him and the door behind him within her peripheral vision.

And then there were things that were the more obvious 'no's' to her, like the shower and the med lab. You didn't need to be very observant to see how the young girl would walk around the invisible perimeter that she had convinced herself would promise her safety. She definitely needed systemic desensitization to help her overcome the newly introduced phobias, but that wasn't his main focus.

Laredo sighed, removing his glasses before rubbing his tired eyes as he thought of the rest of the crew. Her team hadn't warmed up to him any over the last few days, so he really wasn't sure why he was expecting any changes in Skye's behavior. They had somehow earned her trust and she was following their lead.

He knew that she needed time to trust him enough to talk, so he patiently waited. He would give her time to see that he wasn't a threat. He threw a glance at his wrist watch before looking over his right shoulder to the doorway where Skye appeared right on time.

The fourth session was exactly the same as the previous three. When his watch alarmed, the session was over. "Would you look at the time," he stated, looking at his wrist before moving his gaze back up at the analyst with a gentle smile. "We are all done for today."

Skye only slightly hesitated before getting up and walking out of the open door; Coulson and Ward's terms of having the door open at all times, despite the doctors insistence on patient confidentially. The whole team had been hovering and trying to provide her with a balance of normal while keeping her at close arms length, worried she would disappear.

Skye didn't mind it. She actually enjoyed the positive attention and knowing they cared.

The doctor had watched her walk out, the smile remained etched on his face. The analyst had relaxed slightly today, perceiving him as a smaller threat than when he had first stepped on this plane. Of course, she wasn't aware of it, but he was trained in reading people. The subconscious of a human mind was truly fascinating. She was ready for the next step and the timing couldn't be better.

The therapist grabbed his laptop and began reviewing his notes in preparation for their fifth session.

**AN:** Please review and let me know your thoughts! Hope you enjoyed!


	20. Chapter 20 Absent Refuge

**AN: **So sorry this took so long! Life got in the way unfortunately. Plus side, the length is longer than the usual. I hope it's not confusing, if so, I do apologize as my mind kept adding and adding. I really have to learn when to stop. If it is, please let me know and I'll try and tweak it some more.

As for the therapist, you guys are a bunch of suspicious people! She does really need help though.

Lets see how it goes shall we?

**Chapter 20 Absent Refuge **

Ward gently pulled her into a small hug, to which she only slightly tensed. He didn't want to let go, but knew he had to pull himself together.

Coulson had informed the specialist of the little encounter that he had had with the analyst. After apparently breaking a few of Coulson's mugs, she had finally admitted that they were in fact the real team and Ward had immediately seen a slight difference in how she approached them. For one thing, he'd catch her longingly starring at the team members, almost as if she was trying to catch up with all that she had missed.

His heart ached when he would watch her observing the interactions from the outside, when in the old days she would have jumped in, not giving much thought to the subject of the conversation.

Ward resisted a chuckle at the memories of the times that Skye would enthusiastically dive into a conversation between the scientists, repeating something that one of them had stated before agreeing just how amazing it was. No one really understood most of the conversations that the science duo had as they would get stuck in their own world, finishing each other's sentences. Then along would come Skye, trying to join in, and they would immediately stop talking, confused before kicking her out of the lab for disturbing their 'thought process'. Yes, singular 'thought'. As she would pass by him working out, he would hear the analyst mumble something about how they could be in a scary movie, they just had to learn to talk in unison. He had always fought off a smile, part of him tempted to comment back, but he hadn't known what to say so he had reluctantly let her pass. If he could go back in time to all of those missed opportunities and take everything just a little less seriously, he would in a heart beat.

Seeing everyone else's attention diverted elsewhere, the specialist only slightly hesitated before he gave his rookie a small kiss on the nose to which Skye scrunched her face, completely caught off guard.

Ward chuckled at the face she made. "You don't like forehead kisses. I had to improvise," he shrugged in explanation. His smile slowly disappeared as the worry returned. He wasn't ready to leave his rookie, not after everything. "If you need anything, anything at all, please go to May or Coulson or the science twins. They'll take really good care of you," he reiterated for the hundredth time, wanting to make sure that she understood that she had resources, even if her stubborn mind tried to take on the world by itself at times.

Skye sighed in reply before humoring him and nodding in acknowledgment.

It really wasn't fair that he was leaving at such a pivotal time; he knew he was whining and this was his job. He was a specialist for crying out loud, and yet she made him want to step away from all of the rules and act just a little more carefree; at this point, he would do anything to get her to smile. Ward knew he was screwed in the attachment he had formed to his rookie, but for once in his life, he didn't care.

Garrett had been so wrong about relationships being weaknesses. Here was Skye who had been completely broken, and yet it was bonds that she had created with the team that were pulling her back. Even throughout this whole process, in a sense, she played the biggest role in helping him to see the world away from what his screwed up childhood and Garrett had taught him.

"Only five days," Ward reminded himself out loud. "Stay safe and out of trouble," he told her quietly, pausing before adding, "please."

Skye had simply nodded as she watched him walk down the ramp, already missing what had become her security blanket.

Coulson came and stood by her side, "He's one of the best of the best. He can handle himself," he reassured. The analyst only nodded in reply before heading to her bunk and getting her psych ready for the therapy session that she needed to participate in. She needed something, anything to distract her from the fact that Ward had just left.

*******AoS*******

"Well good morning Skye," the therapist began, heading over to his seat. Laredo was surprised when Skye acknowledged his greeting with a nod and a quiet good morning, but he hid it quickly, knowing that if he acted surprised she might perceive her interaction as abnormal. He simply couldn't have that.

The older man slid his seat a little closer and the analyst leaned back against her chair, every inch of separation counting in her mind but not feeling confident enough to push her chair back.

Her day was already crappy with Ward having gone on a mission to the middle of nowhere with no contact to the outside world. Five days. Five whole days and it had only been three extra long hours since his departure! Skye's thoughts went to the previous day's events as she tried to motivate herself to participate in the present session.

She had heard Coulson talking with the powers that be about the assignment, trying to get them to use someone other than Ward. She had heard her name come up as the team leader had argued that she was in a fragile place and had just begun to trust the team members, her SO playing a vital role in that progress.

They had replied quickly, reminding Coulson that his team had been given time to investigate who had taken the analyst and had come up empty handed, all their leads leading to nowhere. Skye had known that they had been looking into her abduction, but she had wanted to stay away from anything to do with it for now. The analyst wanted to live in denial; working on the investigation would force her to acknowledge everything that she had been through and accept it. She didn't feel ready for that, no matter how much her nightmares and flashbacks pushed her to do so.

Her attention had returned to the conversation that she was ease dropping on. The hactivist had paled when she had heard the second part of their reply, suggesting that maybe being on board wasn't the best place for her if it would interfere with the purpose of the team.

Skye had walked away, her mind reeling; the last thing she had heard was Dr. Laredo had advocated for her staying on the plane before the voices had become distant all together.

The analyst knew that she didn't have anywhere to go. Other than this place, the only other home she had had consisted of four wheels and an engine. The last time that she had headed over to her van, well that hadn't ended so well.

Before the panic could overtake her reasoning as her mind began to realize how isolated and alone she was without these people, she focused on the meditations that May had taught her. Reevaluating the conversation she had overheard, she focused on the main problem, which in essence was her. They were worried that she was a burden to the team, stopping them from fulfilling their jobs. Sadly, she couldn't disagree with that statement.

As she thought it over, her mind came up with the only resolution it could. She had to get better. She had to try harder.

She'd walked back to her bunk partly feeling dejected and partly determined to make the therapy sessions work. Laredo was directly reporting to SHIELD so she needed to push herself and show progress.

The next session, Skye had known that she absolutely had to try and demonstrate to them that the therapist was right in keeping her on the BUS. She knew she'd been making progress with the team; heck, the last shower session Ward and her had done, she herself had opened the door after quickly checking to make sure the specialist wasn't within reach to push her in; not that he would of course…. Skye knew he was the real Ward, but she did say she was making _progress_, she didn't say she was cured. The analyst was still fighting her body's automatic reactions.

She had paced the small length of her bunk, feeling restless. Skye wanted to stay with the team. _Her team. _She liked meditating with May and Simmons as May began teaching them defensive moves that specifically worked for their little size. The hactivist remembered the day that May had recruited Fitz and Ward to practice the moves on and the twinkle in Jemma's eyes as she had put Fitz on the ground within two moves. The Scottish scientist had grumbled about how he was always the one who got hit before pulling himself off of the ground slowly.

No one had argued his statement.

Ward had laughed at the younger man till May had told him it was his turn. Unlike Fitz, he didn't fake an attack on Skye, wisely knowing that it would hit to close to home for the analyst and not wanting her to see him in that light ever, if he could help it.

He had watched her hesitate to do what May was encouraging her to do, his mind analyzing all of the reasons behind it. "Skye," Ward had waited till her attention was back to him, shyly looking him in the eye. "No consequences. Just practicing so lets see what you've learned," he gently explained with a smile on his face.

Skye had merely stared back at him, silently asking him the question that had become prominent whenever he would make a statement, _promise?_

"I promise," he'd quietly answered the unasked words.

May had taken what Skye had already learned from her SO and incorporated it into the new routines, adjusting the teachings to fit a woman's strengths and focusing on the speed and precision rather than weight and force.

"Ok Skye, Wards going to grab your wrist," May stated. The specialist had taken a step closer to the analyst and gently grabbed her wrist, the whole time observing for any signs of distress.

"This is going to be good!" Skye had heard Fitz excitedly whisper to Simmons from behind her.

"Ok rooks, show me what you got," Ward encouraged, being sure to keep his tone light.

Skye had looked over to May who nodded. It was all she needed before she executed the moves that she'd been so determined to learn, not wanting to feel helpless if she could do anything about it.

One second Ward had been standing on his two feet, the next thing he knew he was on his back. Skye immediately took a step back before quietly apologizing.

Ward chuckled in reply. "That was impressive rookie. Lets do it again!"

"Look at him, he's a glutton for punishment. Its sad really," Fitz had stated, shaking his head before turning to Jemma who had a little smirk on her face.

"Fitzzzz," Jemma drawled out. "I need some practice," she added, giving him that smile that he could never resist.

"Aww, but Simmons…" he couldn't continue as she pulled out a pout. _Where the bloody hell had she learned that, _the Scottish man wondered, already knowing he was doomed. "Fine," he'd grumbled as he walked over towards Ward. Its not like he needed to be happy about it.

"What's that I heard about being a glutton for punishment?" Ward had questioned, a smirk on his face.

"Oh shut up," is all the little sad scientist could come up with.

Skye had pulled herself from the memory, focusing on her room and the problem at hand.

First things first, she had to start overcoming her fear of the stupid bed. It was just an inanimate object. Plus, the ones here didn't have a headboard or anything that you could handcuff someone to; there was always that positive, she tried to convince herself while swallowing the bile down. Skye walked over to the stupid thing before gently sitting at the bottom corner edge and focusing on anything other than the memories that were trying to push past.

After the briefing, and unbeknown to him that Skye had heard part of the conversation, Ward had walked over to the analyst's bunk. He was surprised when he found Skye sitting on her bed, but didn't let it show. He stayed by the doorway before stating somewhat dejectedly, "Coulson couldn't get me out of the mission and I have to review the reports. Wanna keep me company?" The specialist was unhappy with the events, but determined and hopeful that he could spend a little more time with his rookie.

Skye had happily gotten off the bed, following her SO to the couches where he had a book waiting for her. She had picked up the book, surprised at the choice.

"Simmons said it was one of your favorites," Ward shrugged in answer, settling down on the couch before spreading the files out on the table. The analyst's attention immediately went to the files, the book forgotten in her hands.

"Technically you're not supposed to be seeing this, but…." The specialist stated before sliding an open file towards her. Skye had to resist a smile at how much Mr. Protocol had changed. Then again, her old self would have grabbed one of the files and begun walking around, making loud comments about all of the flaws while Ward followed her trying to get the file back. She wouldn't have hesitated looking at the information.

After glancing over the files over his shoulder, she had learned really quickly that they really hadn't given him much of anything, but she kept that comment to herself, not easing her anxiousness of his safety.

She'd finally grabbed her book before leaning on his shoulder as he sat with his feet on the table, an open file in his lap memorizing his cover story. Ward had lifted his arm automatically, letting the analyst lean into his side before wrapping his arm around her.

Skye would catch him glancing down at her, diverting his gaze back to the files whenever he was caught while a small smile played on his lips. She only got through one chapter before her eyes drifted shut.

The specialist had no intention of carrying her back to bed, enjoying the company while he still could especially after Coulson had practically given him permission when the team leader quietly placed a blanket on the back of the couch before walking off. The younger agent gave him a nod of acknowledgment.

Ward closed the final file before covering his rookie with the blanket and using his free hand to cover her hand resting against his abdomen. He was asleep within a few minutes, his mind reviewing the little information that he had to go off of for the mission in six hours.

Skye's thoughts were brought back to the present session when the therapist leaned forward in his chair.

"I'm so sorry Skye," Laredo looked at the door suspiciously before turning his attention back to the analyst, keeping his voice low, "but its not real."

Skye's attention immediately went to the therapist, her mind reeling at the man's words and what they could mean. _No, that's not possible. I've tested it all out, _Skye thought to herself. But then why would this man come and tell her otherwise?

_This is not happening!_ The analyst told herself, frustration already rising. She began to go over every fine detail that she had gathered watching this team, _her team. _The shower, the sandwiches, the blink, Coulson explaining how goodnight junior had been broken, and so many others. She reminded herself of those memories, desperately discrediting the words that this stranger had spoken.

Laredo watched her face, waiting for the small twitches and automatic responses that told him that what he had said was sinking in. At the conflicting emotions that he had barely picked up, he continued quietly, "Have they done this before?" He was taking a meander, not sure how far her captors had gotten in controlling her mind, but knew that if someone was trying to train the analyst to react certain ways to her team members, successful sham rescue operations were definitely used. From the reports that he had read from Coulson and May, it was easy to conclude that whoever had taken the young girl was obviously working on breaking the ties she had with her team.

Skye's eyes shot up, looking at the doorway as she saw Fitz walk by.

Waiting till the scientist passed the open door, he continued in his low voice, not wanting anyone to over hear, "Look really close Skye."

The confusion finally showed on Skye's face. _Look close at what?_ She wanted to ask frustrated and angry that he was trying to take away the only good thing she had. If Ward was here, she would have walked out of this room in a heartbeat, knowing her SO would take care of this.

"You're frustrated, I see that. But Skye, I'm just trying to help you. What's been done to you, what you have been put through," he paused, trying to come up with the right words, and wondering if 'I'm sorry' even meant anything. "It's just not fair," he gently stated.

With no response, he tried to encourage the girl to talk. "Its just me and you Skye. You can tell me anything. There's no one here," he finished, pausing and allowing her time to process everything.

The analyst looked down at her wrist, shocked to find a handcuff around it. Tugging at the metal, she felt it bite into her flesh. She immediately looked up to see that the doctor wasn't there at all. She looked around frantically at the dark room. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't real. She had just been on the BUS, how could she be back at the facility?

Skye's breathing hitched as she desperately fought to concentrate on the teachings of May.

_This can't be real!_ Her mind screamed desperately. Closing her eyes, she repeated those four words over and over. Taking a deep breath, she built up enough courage to open her eyes, only to find herself back in the room with the therapist.

"You saw it didn't you?" Laredo whispered. "You can't let them know, Skye. I wasn't supposed to tell you. They cannot know that you know."

**AN:**…...….review? maybe?...


	21. Chapter 21 Farfetched

**AN:** Umm thanks for the reviews…but a) Language people b) I really hope you guys didn't break anything :) c) I'm not going to lie, I love reading the reactions. Definitely wasn't expecting them, but never the less, I enjoy them.

Everyone who voted, I would like you to meet '_A slightly longer story with more Skye angst'. 'A slightly longer story with more Skye angst_' I would like you to meet everyone.

So with 29 reviews, it's kind of hard not to be motivated to write another chapter quickly (Yes, reviews can have that affect). Its short, but needed. Enjoy!

**Chapter 21 Farfetched**

Skye had sat there staring at her bare wrist with disbelief, her heart pounding painfully in her chest. Building enough courage, she finally gave it a small tug. Her wrist met no resistance, and yet she had felt the bite of the restraint a mere minute ago. The analyst lifted her arm, her other hand carefully inspecting the place that she had seen and felt the cuff.

"How it works," Laredo began to explain, casting a quick suspicious glance at the door to make sure no one was within ear shot, "this reality is nothing but the influence of the drugs…" The analyst didn't wait for him to finish before she got up and quickly walked out of the room.

Skye ignored him calling after her, deciding to head to her bunk. She wanted to go to May or Coulson and have them explain it all. She wanted them to tell her that he was some nut job that wasn't supposed to be on the plane in the first place. She desperately wanted them to make this all better.

At first, she had been so sure he was just saying things and then she had seen that room again, a room that didn't belong on this plane; Because why would the BUS have a dark gray room with an ominous looking table bolted to the ground right in the middle? The analyst knew why the facility had it and shuddered at the thought.

Everything was going fine till he showed up with his ridiculous idea and stupid apology as he stated the words that were trying to shatter the only peace she had felt for a while.

She paced, enjoying the freedom and ability to be able to get up and walk in pointless lines and rant out her frustrations. Its days like these that she really missed the old training sessions with Ward where she was able to give an identity to the punching bag based off of who had pissed her off, before pounding the crap out of it.

What was she going to do? Ward was gone and this man was her ticket to staying on the BUS that he apparently didn't believe existed.

Gahhh, she just wanted to scream! It all sounded so messed up and farfetched as she ran the last thought through her head again.

It had just been a flashback. She had been on that table before, she finally concluded. That man obviously had no idea what he was talking about and had simply triggered a flashback. Skye was partly annoyed at herself for having doubted it for even a second…

But then again, she didn't remember ever being in that room alone as someone always accompanied her. Could her mind have taken a simple flashback and warped it? All of the other ones had been straightforward with the same details that she remembered from the original memory. The only times that they were ever warped was in her nightmares where her subconscious would begin to get creative in exploring a different combination of her fears and memories.

Although she had to acknowledge that even in the flashback that she had just experienced, she had felt the grogginess that accompanied the drugs. Maybe she hadn't looked everywhere and someone had been with her, her attention much too focused on the handcuffs biting into her wrist. She'd been so drugged up; the details had been hazy.

Not getting anywhere as her mind argued both sides, Skye decided that it had been nothing but a mere flashback. How could she possibly be at the facility when she was here on the BUS, where everything felt just a little more real?

But how to deal with the present situation, she had no idea.

If she didn't go to the therapist, he could tell the….well whoever Coulson was talking to, that she didn't belong on the plane. _The plane that he doesn't even believe is real,_ she scoffed at the absurdity of the whole thing. He could tell them that she was a nuisance and a distraction to the team.

Skye paused her pacing. He would be completely right. It's not like she had done anything useful over the time that she had been back. Her laptop still remained untouched, other than for the fact that she had moved it to the bedside table as it had kept getting in her way when she did want to pace.

She stared at the laptop before dismissing the idea. Even with her laptop, there was no way to contact Ward who was out in the middle of a jungle with no way of communication to the outside world. Besides, he needed to focus on keeping himself safe and not solving every little problem that she ran across.

Speaking of Ward and his wisdom, Skye could try and tell Coulson discreetly without the therapist knowing. Ward had told her that she could turn to them for anything. Maybe they would get this loony off of the plane and things could go back to normal.

Coulson and May had a meeting with the powers that be and were currently locked in Coulson's office, so she had no choice but to wait. Sighing at the realization and having no clue what to do now, Skye looked at the clock and realized it was only 10am. Today was turning out to be a long day.

Thinking her plan over, all Skye had to do was attempt to avoid the therapist till she could get to Coulson and May without Laredo knowing. As long as she was among the others, he didn't seem keen on sharing his ridiculous ideas with her.

Although her being in her bunk alone right now didn't sound like the wisest of ideas. Even if Laredo had been sure to stay clear of it in the past, Ward wasn't here and Coulson and May were in a meeting. She didn't like the odds of him building up enough courage to approach her in the small room that only had one exit.

Being ten in the morning, the analyst decided to head to the kitchen, where she had heard the science duo earlier when she had hastily made her way to her bunk. She slowly looked out the door to her bunk, checking to make sure the coast was clear.

With no one in site, Skye walked into the kitchen area only to freeze in her tracks when she saw the therapist among the scientists. She was tempted to turn around, but she had already been spotted as the scientists greeted her.

**AN:** Please review and let me know your thoughts. Feedback is always welcome! Hope you enjoyed!


	22. Chapter 22 Incoherent Thoughts

**AN:** I know the last two chapters have been frustrating, but I do appreciate your patience. I will admit that I'm afraid this chapter won't help much with the frustration, but it will all make sense in the end. I am trying to write the other chapters faster so as to not leave you guys in the dark for too long, but for now here is this. I hope you enjoy!

_**Warning: **__mild warning for the italicized part, but you'll have to read it to keep up with the story._

_Previous chapter: Skye walked into the kitchen area only to freeze in her tracks when she saw the therapist among the scientists. She was tempted to turn around, but she had already been spotted_.

**Chapter 22 Incoherent Thoughts**

"Oh hey Skye," Fitz greeted. "Jemma's making her famous French toast. Want some?" He stated around the food in his mouth that obviously encompassed four bites too many.

Jemma wacked her friend on the arm. "Oh Fitz! Would you please chew and swallow? If you choke, I'm not going to save you," she threatened. That boy had no manners, Simmons thought to herself.

"Ow!" the tech specialist rubbed his arm. "You would to save me," he continued. "You know you would be all miserable without me in that lab," he explained with a cheeky grin.

Simmons didn't miss a beat. "Oh no, a whole lab to myself," she began sarcastically. "Oh my that does sound appealing," she admitted in a serious and thoughtful tone.

The Scottish man glared at his partner to which she simply smiled.

"Never appreciated," Fitz grumbled under his breath, grabbing a plate and sticking a few pieces on it before handing it to the analyst who hesitantly took it.

"You can sit over here Skye," Laredo spoke for the first time, pointing to the seat next to him as he pulled out the chair. "Fitz and Simmons are sitting there," he indicated across the table. At seeing her hesitancy, "There's no one's here," he shrugged and explained before turning his attention back to his coffee.

_The analyst felt the whole world tip as she realized she was laying on the med lab bench. She was just in the kitchen! Confusion clouded her mind as she couldn't recall how she had ended up here. Trying to sit up, Skye attempted to move her hands only to wince as she felt the bite of the cuff against her raw wrists. Just with that simple task, the analyst felt so exhausted; she couldn't even lift her head from the table, feeling as if it was being weighed down. Skye groggily rolled her head and looked over to the three people whispering at her side. Even with her blurry vision, she could make out their distinct features and all she wanted to do was cry as her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach._

"_She's starting to see the reality, we need to increase the dose," she heard Coulson state._

"_We're already given her an amount that is beyond the original planned dosage; a dose that you had said was the therapeutic range!" Simmons replied in a frustrated tone. "She's going into the toxic levels. I told you that you needed to keep her fluid intake high! Her Kidney's aren't able to clear the drug," the scientist continued._

_Coulson merely rolled his eyes before slowing down his speech and enunciating each word carefully, "She needs a higher dose. She's starting to see reality. Pump her with fluids if you have to, I don't care, just give her the damn drug!"_

_Skye concentrated all of the little energy that she had at tugging at her wrists after hearing his words, desperate to get away. The little action caught the older agents attention as he turned towards the analyst who froze. She held her breath as he slowly began walking towards her. _

_He stopped a foot away from her; reaching his hand out, he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before caressing her cheek. Skye tried to pull away from his hand, disgusted by him touching her, but he tightly gripped her chin holding her face in place and began tightening his grip. A smile made its way across his face when he saw her begin to flinch at the pain._

_Skye noticed his breathing become heavier, his grip only increasing. She knew he wanted her to let out a whimper or a cry of pain, but she fought it off, concentrating on anything but him touching her._

_He almost succeeded in his goal till Simmons called to him. His eyes never left the analyst's face as he stated, "Increase the dose and give her the drugs." His tone left no room for argument._

_The older agent loosened his grip, caressing the marks that his fingers had left before he placed a kiss on her forehead of a promise to come, a promise that made Skye want to hurl. Coulson turned on his heel and walked out. Skye followed his retreating back till she caught a glimpse of the syringe in Simmons' hand. She helplessly watched Fitz grab a vial before handing it to his partner. _

_Skye frantically scanned her surroundings, desperately looking for any tiny little detail that was out of place other than the cuffs, but she couldn't find anything. It was the med lab, she gravely admitted to herself before her attention returned to the scientist who was approaching her with a full syringe. _

_The analyst wanted to beg Simmons to not give the drug, but nothing came out. Her throat constricted as her mind was paralyzed with the fear that she was really back at the facility. _

_Simmons moved to her side before grabbing Skye's arm and inserting the syringe. She felt the sting before the burning started as the drug diffused throughout her muscles. The analyst focused all of her strength on not letting out a whimper that so badly wanted to escape. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to imagine herself anywhere but there. _

Skye jumped at the sound of the glass plate making contact with the floor. Looking down, she realized it was the plate that she had just been holding onto. Her eyes immediately went to her arm where the puncture site would have been, her hand pressing on the area. There was no needle mark and the muscle lacked the tenderness that usually accompanied the drugs, and yet, it had felt so real.

Her attention was pulled back to the kitchen when she heard her name being called by Simmons.

"You ok?" The scientist asked her in a worried voice, her expression matching her tone as she reached out a reassuring hand. Skye flinched away from the other girl, not wanting the contact. The analyst missed the hurt expression that covered Jemma's face when she looked back at the broken plate before carefully examining her arm again.

Finding nothing out of the ordinary, Skye's gaze went to the silent man sitting at the table, a sympathetic and surprised look in his eyes as he mouthed, 'I'm so sorry.' He slowly shook his head before quietly asking, "do you see?"

Skye didn't acknowledge his question as she quickly backed away from the group and walked out of the room. She heard Fitz ask, "See what. I didn't see anything. What did she see?"

The analyst sped her pace up, trying to get away as fast as she could. She needed out, she needed this to stop. She needed…she needed to remember how to breath.

The young hactivist made it to her room, gasping for air once she reached the familiar place where she finally allowed herself to have the panic attack that she had been fighting.

Skye kneeled down next to the bedside table and with trembling hands, grabbed the small wristwatch that she had kept hidden behind the piece of furniture. Clutching to it for dear life, she tried to focus on the quiet ticking sound; the sound that had come to represent reality; the sound that told her the passage of time; the sound that she wasn't even sure was real anymore as she began to question the pace of the ticks and wondered if they were even accurate.

She wanted Ward, she pathetically admitted as she curled up and began rocking herself back and forth, all of May's training going out the window as her incoherent thoughts took over.

**AN: **Where is that specialist when you need him? Please review and let me know your thoughts! Thanks!


	23. Chapter 23 Illusion

**AN: **I'm just going to apologize ahead of time cause I don't even like me after writing this chapter, but I hope you guys enjoy it nevertheless. This chapter was written at 3am so please let me know if you spot any mistakes. And….here we go.

**Chapter 23 Illusion**

"Skye," the therapist stood up from his chair, surprised that the young woman had come by at all considering she had skipped yesterdays session and so he hadn't talked to her in almost 48 hours since she had been in the Kitchen with FitzSimmons. "I am so sorry that I scared you off. It's not the easiest thing to explain," Laredo apologized. In hindsight there may have been a better way to have gone about the whole thing.

The hactivist fidgeted by the door before walking in and taking a seat. She looked so unsure of herself and utterly exhausted, the bags under her eyes a testament to the lack of sleep. "How does it work?" she spoke in a quiet coarse voice, sounding so resigned and defeated.

The morning that Ward had left, Coulson had come by her bunk after Simmons had told him about the reaction Skye had had in the kitchen. He had knocked only to find the analyst huddled in her corner. He'd immediately walked in before crouching in front of Skye, reaching a hesitant hand out to comfort the analyst. The young girl had shrunk away from him, begging him to leave her alone, her voice trembling. His heart ached after hearing her plea and being unsure of how to fix it, fix whatever the hell was causing her the distress. He felt so helpless. The older agent had been so confused on the turn of events but hadn't had much time to ponder it over as the therapist asked him if he might have a word. Coulson had reluctantly left Skye's side.

The analyst had heard Laredo explain to Coulson that she had opened up in the therapy session and that it had been a rough start, reassuring Coulson that this was a normal part of the therapy cycle; a cycle where, as the victims began to acknowledge what they had faced, they might pull back to rebuild their walls after such a vulnerable time. She'd heard the therapist, "It might not be such a good idea for you," he had paused before continuing and emphasizing, "especially you, to be with her right now. From the reports, her association with you and the facility is the strongest and right now she needs to know that she can relax."

Skye's heart had ached when she heard Coulson's firm reply, "I'm not leaving her alone to face this on her own." She wanted this Coulson. She wanted to run to the man that had adopted her as his own and let him make it all go away, but right then she hadn't known what to believe with the memory so fresh in her mind.

Despite her incoherent thoughts in regards to what she had seen and pushing the team leader away, Coulson had come into her bunk and sat against the wall away from her, reassuring her that she wasn't alone with a few gentle words and his non threatening presence.

When she had looked up, she hadn't seen the Coulson that got high off of power and delighted when he was able to get her to break one of the rules that he had set just to have the opportunity to 'correct her mistake' with lessons that he loved giving. Skye had shuddered at the memories, remembering the kiss on the forehead and its meaning. Tearing her thoughts away from the memories, she had focused on the man in front of her.

Instead of seeing the man she had come to fear, she saw the man whose pain was reflected in his eyes as he sat still, unsure of what to do. The man who despite feeling out of his element, had refused to leave her alone to face something that he didn't understand and that Skye refused to share.

And it all just confused Skye so much more. The analyst was tempted to reach out to him, to the man that seemed so real and yet her mind had gone back to the therapists words, _have they done this before?_ So instead she sat and let her world crumble to the ground as she berated herself for trusting everything so fast.

They had sat in silence for hours before Skye had begun to doze off, the emotional rollercoaster from Ward leaving, the continuous replaying of the conversation she had heard with the powers that be, the therapy session that had turned her world upside down, and the visions or flashbacks or whatever they were draining any energy she had.

Skye had wonder if this is what people described when they talked about soul draining. It really felt like someone was ripping her identity away and just when she had started to get it back as she had begun to accept that maybe everything that had happened in the 7 months really wasn't her fault; that what she had allowed them to do…what they had done to her wasn't because she was weak. That they were to blame and them alone, as everyone on the team had been repeating to her over and over.

And yet if what Laredo was saying was real, she truly was weak and naive for falling into their trap once again; pathetically desperate for any form of contact that didn't result in pain or humiliation; desperate for a home and someone who actually cared about her.

With her mind berating her somewhat impulsive decision, the analyst had finally allowed the sleep to consume her, getting away from the cruelty that had become her thoughts. She didn't need the people at the facility to remind of her of how pathetic and stupid she was; she was doing a splendid job on her own.

Skye had jostled awake from a nightmare only to find a blanket covering her and a pillow under her head. It had taken her a minute to reorient herself to her bunk, before she had remembered the flashback of her in the med lab. A small part of her had hoped that the events with Laredo had simply been a nightmare, but her hopes came crashing down as her gaze drifted to the watch that she still clutched in her hand, ticking away as if unfazed with the role it played in reminding her that what she was living out was worse than the nightmares.

Her attention was brought back to the present when the therapist began to explain.

"It's all an illusion. They hired me to see how it was working, how far they had gone in breaking you. After I saw what they had done to you, what you have been through, I couldn't stand back and watch you suffer," the therapist began. "I'm disgusted to be a part of such a thing in the first place, and yet maybe, just maybe I can help you," he continued, his voice sounding hopeful.

The analyst made no reply, having a hard time processing the information.

"The drugs in your system make your mind highly receptive to suggestions," Laredo watched for any reaction but Skye just continued to stare at the ground. The therapist once again checked to make sure no one was within ear shot before continuing, "last time I asked you a question. Skye, have they done this before?" He gently re-asked.

At Skye's questioning look, Laredo knew she was wondering why he wouldn't have that information if they had hired him. "They wanted me to go in blind in order to get an objective perspective," he looked almost disgusted.

The young brunette studied the floor intently, going over their reasoning. She nodded her head hesitantly, before clearing her throat. "It's never been this long. Usually they mess up, but," Skye took in a deep breath. She didn't even know if she believed this guy, but she had to see where he was coming from, refusing to follow blindly.

She had been naïve in the past, desperate for any avenue that looked more hopeful than the one she had been in. The analyst felt the hate for herself and her stupidity when she thought of the time that she had allowed herself to believe she had been rescued even when 'Ward' and 'Coulson' had been psychological convincing her to accept that _she_ had caused the men at the facility to do what they did. That she had deserved it.

The 'rescuers' hadn't been interested in harming her physically and she had clung to that, desperate for her body to get some healing time after what had been one of the worst beatings she had received. That rescue had only lasted a week and half before she'd accidentally broken a mug whose surface had been much hotter than she had anticipated. 'Coulson' had gotten pissed before lecturing her on how much they had invested in finding her before he harshly admitted that he was unsure if she had been worth any of the time.

And yet, Skye had still hoped it was him, more than ok with receiving a lecture about her clumsiness. The analyst had knelt down, frantically trying to clean the mess she had made, desperate to make amends. She remembered the anxiety that had begun to consume her as she had watched his shadow slowly creep closer till he was towering over her, unmoving.

The analyst hadn't dared to look up, scared of what she would see. When she had reached to gather another shard, he had lifted one of his polished shoes before placing it on her hand. Skye had immediately frozen, resisting the urge to pull her hand back in order to prevent the situation from escalating.

The analyst looked down at her palm, the small scar staring back and reminding her of the pain and humiliation of that day as he had begun to increase the pressure, waiting for her to cry out as the blood began to mix with the fluids from the drink. She had known immediately after that and couldn't deny it any longer.

No matter how desperate she had been for the rescue to be her real team, she had acknowledged that she hadn't been rescued at all. The agent part of her had taken the whole situation as a lesson, increasing her standards for the next time that the facility pulled another 'rescue'; the hactivist in her had mourned the loss of the little hope that had been snuffed out, another small piece of her shattering.

Skye shook her head before allowing her thoughts to come back to the present. "I've watched them. They haven't done a single thing wrong," she quietly stated, trying to keep her voice level.

"Hmm," the therapist replied before leaning back in his chair as a look of contemplation came over his face, his gaze fixed on the wall. "That's why they changed their method," he stated after a moment of silence, more to himself than Skye.

The analyst waited, not understanding his comment. At the look of confusion, the therapist began to explain, "The reason that you're not seeing them make mistakes is because this is a reality that you yourself have created Skye. Out of your desperation to be rescued, this is your escape. What better way to have you believe that you have been rescued than to let your mind control the details? After all, your mind knows exactly what it wants to see and the live versions of the team were obviously not working." Laredo shook his head at the whole thing.

Skye had to focus on not hurling as what he said started clicking into place.

If she was creating the reality, then she had to still be at the facility.

The young analyst felt herself falling into a deep dark hole, the ground under her no longer there as she was barely clinging to the edge. Before she allowed the despair to completely take over, she forced herself to try and think straight. "How are you here, if this is my reality?"

"That is a good question." The therapist was impressed that the young brunette was still able to focus. "As I said, the drugs make your mind really perceptive to suggestions, changing your perception with merely a few words," he patiently explained. "Ward going on a mission, for instance. The bastards simply wanted to change things up." He sounded disgusted as he shook his head again.

An obvious question came to Skye's mind, one that a large part of her didn't want to know but that she needed to ask. Before it left her mouth, the therapist answered it, assuming where her thoughts were headed. "The drugs haven't knocked you out fully. You're still talking to me Skye except all of my mannerisms and physical characteristics, you've been creating them in your mind based on my tone and language usage."

Skye felt the room begin to tilt at the confirming words; her head was spinning. He was suggesting that she was at the facility. That she had created all of this. The flashbacks that she didn't remember being memories, they would then be…

They would be the present.

The present where she was lying on a table somewhat conscious but drugged; the present where they had to increase the dose of the drug because she was beginning to see the reality.

The young girl allowed a few tears to slip out as the air began to feel thicker and harder to swallow; she was only able to slip one word out of her ever closing throat, "Why?" The analyst desperately asked, wondering what she had done wrong to deserve this, deserve any of this.

The therapist opened his mouth to speak before the familiar tone of the alarm echoed in the silence from his wristwatch. "I'm so sorry Skye, but I have to go. My time is up, but they wouldn't tell me the reasons behind this whole thing. I was only assigned to you to figure where you were in their process," the therapist explained. "I am so so sorry!" she heard him whisper.

"We'll talk tomorrow. Skye, you cannot tell them," he desperately reminded her, an urgency growing in his voice. "I will explain it tomorrow, I promise." Laredo did his best to reassure the analyst before getting up and walking out, his footsteps echoing in the analyst's head.

She sat frozen as she tracked the man's movement till he disappeared through the doorway. Her mind was whirling with all of the information. They had done this before, her mind numbly thought over and over again.

Skye couldn't make it to her bunk, she didn't even know if she could stand as her body began to tremble.

He was telling her that she was at the facility. At the facility with them; being pumped full of drugs. That everything that she had worked so hard to accomplish here, it wasn't real, it meant nothing. All of those fears she had faced, all of the boundaries and limits that she had tested, they meant nothing.

Skye got up slowly, leaning against the wall as the room continued to spin. She barely made it to the garbage can before falling on her knees and hurling what little content she had in her stomach until there was nothing else left and she had begun dry heaving. The young girl pulled away from the garbage can before she curled up on the floor feeling completely numb and yet her body continued to tremble as she let the depression and fear consume her thoughts.

**AN: **Yeeeeaaaah, I think I just depressed myself. Please review and let me know your thoughts, they are much appreciated!

And before you all hate me, I do believe in happy endings….but the addition of the therapist story line is the longer version to that happy ending.


	24. Chapter 24 Intrusion

**AN:** Hello everyone! This story really took a turn. Thanks for the patience, but I'm thinking someone should probably kidnap Skye away from me because… well lets just say that I apologize ahead of time for this chapter as well.

I do feel like this chapter turned out crappy, but honestly, I'm just tired of looking at it.

**Please note the change in the summary warning. ** If this story is getting too much, please feel free to not read. There are 2,600 other AoS stories, some of which are amazing and much lighter! :) But I will give you a warning once the chapter comes up.

**Chapter 24 Intrusion**

She had remained in the room till her trembling had slightly subsided and she felt that she had enough strength to make it to her bunk, not wanting to have a confrontation with the rest of the team members. When May had come to invite her to eat lunch, Skye had looked at her with such sad eyes before claiming she wasn't hungry.

The Calvary had walked into the bunk, asking Skye in a concerned voice if she was ok. The analyst had wanted to bitterly laugh at that question. She was so far from ok, but instead she had just made the excuse of being tired and needing a little more sleep.

May had noticed the change in the girl, hell the whole team had noticed but none of them knew what to do about it after each member reaching out had failed; and of course the council had to have taken Ward at such a crucial time.

Despite the analyst's reassurances that failed to reassure anyone that she was fine, the team had taken turns checking up on her. They brought her missed meals to her bunk, sitting in silence and unsure of what to say but determined to let the analyst know that they were there if she needed them; she barely ate. They had even confronted the therapist who merely gave the same explanation that he had given to Coulson, reassuring them that they had to be patient as she navigated between all of the emotions.

Skye knew that they were trying, but at this point she just didn't care. None of this mattered, she had admitted to herself, feeling drained as she pushed the food away as soon as the pilot had walked out.

When she was left alone, Skye had laid down in her corner. She'd covered herself with the blanket as to give the illusion of her being asleep and for the team to avoid her, but knew that there was no way that she could fall asleep with everything that she had been told.

She stayed up the entire time, thinking of all of the questions that she wanted to ask the therapist the next day, a small part of her clinging to the hope that this world was still real; a small part that became dimmer and dimmer with each answered question and vision of the facility where she was restrained to the table.

But she couldn't focus on that; she didn't have time to have another melt down. It didn't help that there was a constant battle raging inside of her. The agent part of her knew that her attention needed to stay on figuring out what was going on, while the analyst was ready to admit defeat before curling up and allowing her thoughts to consumer her mind.

Unable to sleep and feeling restless, the young agent got up and went to the room where she was due to meet with the therapist and waited. Her mind wouldn't stop rerunning the conversation from the previous day so when he walked in what seemed hours later and headed to his seat, she almost sighed in relief.

"I'm so sorry that I had to leave the conversation where it ended yesterday," he said in a rush, wasting no time in formal greetings. "I assume that you probably have a lot of questions," Laredo began, to which Skye nodded in confirmation.

"Ok. I did a little digging of my own after our last session and hope that I will have more answers for you today. Lets begin shall we?" Laredo stated, wanting to make sure that the hour they had together was focused on what she needed to know.

Skye nodded thinking through all of her questions before choosing a fundamental concept, one that would determine that she was understanding everything. "I'm at," her voice cracked from the lack of use. She cleared her throat before trying again, "I'm at the facility, drugged up but not completely unconscious. I'm talking to you and this whole reality, everything that I'm seeing, it's just some made up illusion in my head that is very receptive to outside suggestions?" she asked, her mind trying to keep up and yet hold it all together. She had to focus right now.

The therapist affirmed everything that she had stated. Although Skye hadn't expected otherwise, she couldn't help the disappointment of having it reaffirmed. "After I found out what they had done, I had a friend loop a security feed of our first session where you didn't talk at all. He plays the loop whenever me and you have a session." He paused before adding, "not everyone there agrees with what has been done to you." Laredo explained, sadness seeping into his voice.

Skye wanted to scoff at his statement. Where had these so called people who had an ounce of morals been when they had dragged her around…The analyst stopped the thought before her mind was pulled back to the memories. She needed answers and she only had an hour to get them.

"And then I found the time in the day where there were only a few guards and I convinced them that you weren't a threat in your current state," Laredo continued, unaware of the analyst's thoughts.

"My drugged up state that can still communicate?" Skye stated more than asked, her voice dripping with bitterness.

The therapist nodded before hesitantly replying, "Yes, they…they have taught you to answer questions when asked."

Skye remembered how it had taken four weeks for them to finally get her to shut up; in those four weeks she had also learned that not even a whimper was allowed, except with Coulson. Once she had demonstrated her understanding, they had added the new component of her having to answer when asked a question directly. She was reminded of a dog being taught the speak trick, except no treats were involved. She felt the bitterness once again, but pushed it down to focus on the limited time.

"Its also why I have an alarm on my watch," he interrupted her thoughts. "It lets us know when the guards will be back and the loop will end, as they usually give us an hour or so. For now, there's no one here. We're safe to talk as we see fit and I can answer your questions," he offered before sadly stating, "It's the least I can do."

_Skye saw a strange man sitting by her side, gazing up at the machines that she was hooked to. A man she had not seen before. Her head felt groggy, she tried to move her wrists, but felt the cuffs before she was able to even lift the extremity. Staring down at her forearm, she noticed the IV with the tubing attached to a bag of fluids that was dripping at a fast rate, piggybacked to a second bag that contained the yellow substance that they normally injected with a syringe._

She gasped as she found herself sitting in a chair in front of the therapist once again, the room on the Bus becoming clear. Skye immediately looked to where the IV should have been, but unsurprisingly found nothing. They were giving her the fluids that Coulson from the facility had ordered with the extra dosage of drugs. No no no no no, she repeated to herself. This could not be happening!

The analyst almost jumped when she heard Laredo, almost having forgotten he was there.

"Skye, what just happened?" the therapist immediately asked, having seen the faraway look she had gotten.

The analyst pondered whether she should tell him, a part of her worried that he would report back that she was seeing the facility and needed an even higher dose while a small tiny part had begun to trust him. She shook her head in response before putting her poker face on and replying, "nothing."

She heard the therapist sigh. "You can trust me Skye, but I know its something that I have to earn and I wont push you to it," he whispered in an understanding tone.

The analyst didn't acknowledge his statement. "What about when they give me the shots. Why don't I feel my muscles sore or the pain?" Skye asked, becoming desperate to find something that stood out and affirmed this wasn't real as her emotions and panic were becoming harder to control, especially with the vision of the lab.

"You are perceptive to suggestions, including pain. A person hears the back firing of a car and thinks they have been shot. They feel the pain of a bullet that is nonexistent. The mind is a very powerful tool," Laredo explained. "I tell you that there is nothing that is causing you pain and your mind ignores the pain receptors."

The silence ensued before Skye came up with another question. "You said they were the ones who 'suggested' that Ward went on a mission?" Skye waited till the therapist gave her an affirming answer. "That means that they could simply suggest that he doesn't come back or that he died out there," the doctor heard the desperation, and yet she was missing the point.

"Skye, its not real," he leaned forward as he patiently explained again. "The Ward that you are imagining, I'm so sorry, but he isn't real. Them telling you that he died, it would mean nothing in the real world," the therapist tried to be as gentle as he could in the explanation, and yet he needed her to understand what he was trying to convey.

Skye's mind couldn't wrap around the idea of her team not being real; couldn't wrap around the idea that they might suggest that Ward had died out there on his mission and that would be that. He wouldn't come back because of a mere suggestion; a suggestion that her weak mind wouldn't be able to fight or control. He would simply be gone and there would be nothing simple about it. Even in her own illusion, he wouldn't be there to encourage her to eat before he began asking her if he was starting to look fat due to the large amount of food he would stick in his mouth whenever she took a bite just to distract her. Real or not, she just couldn't wrap her mind around it.

Even in her illusion, they controlled it all. She had nothing that was her own. This Coulson had been wrong; someone did own her.

Skye bit the inside of her cheek when the room started to spin again. _You can't waste this time!_ She reminded herself, pushing past the despair and turmoil that had become her life.

They remained in silence, Skye trying to understand the words that came out of this mans mouth. If not for the images that would randomly pop up, she wouldn't have believed any of this. But the images did pop up and none of them consisted of any memories. They were all new…

"Why?" she finally asked again, her voice no longer carrying the tremble it had the day before, instead it sounded like someone who was on the verge of admitting defeat. "What's the main purpose?" She asked quietly as desperation began to seep into her words. How could she be so important that anyone would plan all of this, this elaborate, sick, screwed up plan.

"From the files that I found, they weren't playing the part of your team well enough, as you yourself said that they would make mistakes that would tip you off to it not being real," the therapist began before leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "The final goal is to break the ties that you had formed with your team. By allowing your brain to handle the small details, they create the ultimate real team that you begin to trust; a team that they can take away with a simple suggestion." The therapist waited, giving the analyst a second to let her catch up. "I'm sorry, but I don't know why severing those ties is so important," he admitted.

Skye's mind was still stuck on his statement, _a team that they can take away._

They could take the idea of her team away from her. That thought alone left her feeling hollow. The team was all she had, her identity embedded in them. Its not like she had anything else left but her memories of them, and this man was telling her that even those weren't really hers. The questions came back, why? Why all of this?

The one question that had haunted her since the first week that she had been kidnapped, he didn't have a complete answer to. The question that in the past and present had made her review her life, trying to find a moment in which she had wronged someone so much that caused the universe to pay retribution in the form of this torture. That question, he didn't have an answer to.

Skye shook the thoughts away. "If this is all made up in my mind, why can't I tell the team?"

"The reason that you can't tell them Skye is if you acknowledge that its not real to them, the little break that you are getting right now, the illusion you are living in will end," he sadly stated. "Skye," Laredo paused, trying to figure out the best way to deliver the news to the young agent, "I'm not the only one who comes and talks to you," he stated very quietly.

The analysts head shot up. _I think I'm going to be sick, _she thought to herself. The conversations that she had with her team on the Bus, could it really have been someone from the facility and she had just provided the details? Did that mean that if she told the team about any of this, she could be spilling the secrets to someone in the facility as they intruded on her reality? Would they then know that the method was no longer working and bring her back to complete consciousness, where she would wake up in the fake med lab with the restraints on her wrists? Where they could possibly use their old forms of torture?

God, she couldn't go back! Not again. Not back to them.

"Hey hey. Skye, look at me," the therapist cajoled. "Look at me," he stated again till the analyst complied. "I need you to breath," he instructed.

Skye gasped for the air once she became aware that she had stopped breathing completely, her thoughts coming out in a jumble as one fear filled thought fed the next.

"We'll figure something out," the therapist reassured her, "but for now you have to lay low, keep acting as if everything is normal." Just as the therapist opened his mouth again, the alarm on his wrist began to beep. Laredo reached down silencing the thing.

"Skye, the only version of me that you are really talking to is the one in these one hour sessions, the other version is made by your subconscious based on how you think I should act," he quickly explained, not wanting her to divulge information to anyone else on accident. "I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Her head was pounding, tears running down her face as her hands began to tremble. She couldn't go back. She just couldn't.

She wiped the tears away as she saw Coulson walk right into the room, his smile immediately disappearing upon seeing the analyst's state. Before the leader could ask, "I'm fine," she reassured quietly.

Coulson nodded unconvinced as he looked between the therapist who looked like he was on his way out and the resident rookie. "Ward's mission finished earlier than we thought. He's coming home," Coulson allowed a small smile back on his lips, thinking that maybe the specialist could help get rid of that haunted look in Skye's eyes that she was trying so hard to hide.

**AN: **I felt bad for you guys, so here you go. Please take a second to review and let me know what you thought.


	25. Chapter 25 Homecoming

**AN:** Thank you for all of the reviews and taking your time to let me know what you guys thought! Sorry about the deep, depressing, and a dash of confusing in the last few chapters, but we are not out of the woods yet folks.

Also, I am running on 3 hours of sleep, so apologies for any mistakes. Hope you like it and it stays real.

**Chapter 25 Homecoming**

The group assembled at the cargo hold, waiting to greet the specialist and ever so thankful that he had finished his mission 2 days early. They didn't have to stand for too long as an SUV came up and Ward got out grabbing his gear before a large smile broke out at the sight of the people waiting for him. _It's good to be home, _he acknowledged as he made his way up the ramp.

His smile faltered when he saw his rookie's stance, gaze focused on the ground, arms crossed in a defensive position, shoulders tense. Even with all of that, what hit him the most is how exhausted she looked.

The specialist shared a concerned look with Coulson who simply shrugged, looking as lost as everyone else. "Welcome back," Coulson finally greeted the specialist before leaving him and his rookie, hoping that he would be able to bring her out of the depression that had begun to seem so evident. The rest of the team followed the Commanding Officer's lead, May only giving Ward an encouraging nod.

Once they were out of sight, the specialist focused his attention on the girl standing before him. He let his duffel bag drop to the ground before allowing a slightly diminished version of his smile to return.

Honestly, he was just happy to see her. With no contact from the team, he had practically gone mad with anxiety over how she was holding up. Standing before her now, part of him wondered if she maybe was just having a bad day or if there was something larger at play; Coulson and the specialist had expected Skye to possibly take a few steps back when he had gone on his mission so Ward hadn't known what to anticipate when he made it back.

Taking a step closer, Ward reached out his hand to her shoulder only to be met by a visible flinch. He slowly pulled his hand back before slightly leaning down to try and catch her eyes. There was no way he was going to back down. "Hey rooks," he said in a gentle voice when she finally gazed his way.

Skye resisted the small smile when she saw how ridiculous he looked, tilting his head with his height and trying to get to her eye level. _He's not real you idiot. Quit getting attached! _Her mind reminded her and the urge to smile disappeared as her feelings sank along with it.

Anytime that she felt even the slightest hopeful thoughts about the team, her logic would shut them down before her emotions could get too invested.

But now, now she felt exhausted and drained. With Ward standing right in front of her, she let her heart lead as she finally allowed herself to take a small step towards his beckoning presence. Real or not, she was desperate for the feelings that accompanied him; desperate for something to ground her as the one hour therapy sessions did nothing but increase her turmoil.

Ward didn't waste any time pulling her gently towards him and into a hug. "I missed you," he admitted as he tucked her head under his chin, wrapping his arms securely around her. She didn't reply, but to Ward she didn't need to. He was home now and had time to investigate what was bothering her and to fix it.

The specialist acknowledged the success that at least she was still allowing him to hold her, something he had thought about continuously for the last few days. _I missed you,_ was the understatement of the century.

How can he not be real? Skye desperately questioned, ready to beg the universe just to give her this one thing. She could feel his heart beating below her open palm placed on his chest; she felt the movement with each breath; she sensed the warmth that radiated off of him in the cold cargo bay.

And yet, Skye didn't clutch to his shirt although the desperation in her was tempted to hold on and not let go. She didn't reply to his comment even though she had felt the anguish at his absent presence. She didn't fully lean into his warm embrace, even as it beckoned her in. Instead, she found a median between her logic's reprimands and her hearts ache for security, her logic constantly reminding her that she couldn't get too attached.

How could she when she had been told that it was all an illusion that she's created. When she looks at him and sees the attention that he gives her as he patiently waits for her to feel comfortable, it makes just a little more sense because how could he care about her after knowing everything that she'd been through. How could he hold her, knowing that she had been tainted and no matter how hard she scrubbed, she just couldn't get rid of their touches or claims to her. Just the thought made Skye nauseated.

Unaware of his rookie's thoughts, Ward distracted her when he pulled back slightly. "How about I go and get cleaned up and then we can have a lazy day and watch a movie or something?" He asked, a small smile playing on his face.

Skye allowed her gaze to travel back up to him and her eyes saddened as she studied his face, memorizing all of the details.

"Skye, what's wrong?" he quietly asked, smile dropped as he quickly picked up on the change in her demeanor, the depth of her eyes conveying what he could only title as hopelessness and loss.

She wanted to tell him. Tell him that she can't hold on to him. Tell him that she can't spend anymore time with him. Tell him that she is so scared. Scared to get any more attached. Scared that they will take him away simply by suggesting it to her weak mind that can't fight off their ideas. Scared to wake up from this dream only to face the other Ward. Scared that if she fights and makes it back to her real team, she can see them rejecting her. Scared that she doesn't only fear their rejection, but the fact that she can't trust them; can't trust herself to discern if they are real, not again; because after all of this, how can she ever trust her own judgment.

She knows it would be best if she pulled away from the team now rather than waited till she got any closer to them, knowing that she wouldn't be able to let go of the illusion then.

She wasn't completely stupid. If what Laredo had told her was all accurate and the people at the facility had the ability to take away her team, than they also had the ability of turning them against her. Logic told her that they wouldn't do this, not when they were trying to convince her that they were real. Her believing that the team was real was crucial to their plan so that when they tore them away from her, she would finally be completely broken. The idiots obviously didn't realize what was right in front of them.

She was already broken, shattered into tiny pieces with some pieces completely gone.

Skye knew that she couldn't wake up from this drugged state while still having attachments to Ward or any of them, for that matter. The analyst didn't think that she could handle it; she couldn't go back to the facility and watch them wear the faces of her team. She reluctantly stepped out of his embrace before stating that she was fine and declining his offer with the excuse of getting some rest.

Ward had watched the whole turmoil flit across her face, even though she desperately tried to hide it. Partly undeterred by her response and partly determined to spend some time with his favorite rookie and get that look off of her face, Ward grabbed his bag before following the analyst up the stairs and walking her to her bunk. "Tell you what, I'll let you get a nap in and will be by later nagging you to eat dinner with me," the specialist stated, determined to get her to open up.

_Why was he making this so difficult_? The analyst thought to herself, wanting to be left alone. She simply nodded and walked into her bunk, her gaze looking anywhere but at him.

"Ok then, I'll see you in a few hours," Ward replied, masking the anxiety he was beginning to feel at her responses.

Skye heard his footsteps walking towards his bunk, anxiousness increasing as she became aware of his presence getting farther and farther away. How could she go back to the facility and face the other Ward when just the sight of this one had her feeling at ease. She shuddered at the thoughts of the facility before allowing herself to curl up underneath her blanket, her mind feeling numb from the overload of information while her heart felt like it was breaking all over again.

She felt so powerless, betrayed by her own subconscious and unable to do anything about it.

The analyst pulled the watch out from behind the dresser and focused all of her thoughts on the ticking noise, anything to keep them away from the current situation. When she heard light footsteps outside her door, she had immediately pretended to be asleep. It must have worked, because they had walked away leaving her alone.

It was hours before she heard the louder footsteps that she had come to memorize as Ward's. He had only stopped by her bunk door for a few seconds before she heard him walk off again, only to return in less than five minutes. She heard Simmons stop him as he got closer to the door. "Ward, she's sleeping. What are you doing?"

"No she's not," Ward stated before making his way into her bunk. "You have to deepen and slow down your breathing to resemble an actual sleeping person," he gently explained to his rookie who still had her eyes closed, as he slid down the wall and sat by her feet.

Skye knew she was busted and so gave up, sitting up slowly. The analyst didn't even acknowledge him as she saw a plate pushed in front of her.

She felt her heart aching at the gesture, hating herself for having allowed him and them to get so close only for her to helplessly wait for the dark day where they would be ripped away from her and turned into the monsters that she had come to associate them with.

She felt the nausea come again. Game or no game, she had no appetite and so pushed the plate away while Ward had sat still, burger in his hand, waiting for his rookie to lead.

Would these be the memories that she would come to regret and see them as nightmares when they threw her back into the facility? Would the monster Ward taunt her of these times?

"Skye, the team tells me you haven't eaten much for the last few days. I'm getting a little worried rookie. What's wrong?" he asked desperately.

At hearing his tone, part of the analyst wanted to tell him everything, and yet if she did, this illusion would end and she would be back there. The young girl couldn't help the shudder that escaped as she held back a gag.

Ward desperately watched her for any sign of a reply, but he had gotten nothing. She wouldn't even look at him.

The specialist resisted a frustrated sigh wondering what the hell had gone on since he had left. He knew that she had had a flashback or two, according to FitzSimmons, but wondered if that would really set her this far back. Could it be the therapy? But she had had at least four sessions, once a day, before he had left and not one of them had affected her. Although, Coulson had told him that Laredo reported that she was opening up and talking. His mind went back to the time that she had told him about the shower and how she had avoided him the next two days after, even flinching at his proximity till she came to him in her own time. Was this something that he just had to wait out? He just didn't know, and to be honest, he was exhausted from three days of almost no sleep.

"Are you still tired?" He asked, to which she finally responded with a short nod. Seeing her answer, Ward only replied with an "ok," before getting up and walking out of her bunk, taking both plates of the untouched food with him.

Skye knew that this was a good thing. That she couldn't get anymore attached, but then she wondered if it was all futile as she felt the disappointment when he got up and walked away. She started to feel the pain in her chest as it tightened with each step that he got farther, the footsteps becoming lighter in sound. The analyst felt the verge of a panic attack setting in, but was helpless to do anything about it. It's not like she could turn to Ward after she had practically pushed him away.

The young girl sensed the tears wanting to come out as she closed her eyes, trying to fight them and the choking emotions that were fighting for dominance. Leaning against the wall, she focused on her breathing again as she reminded herself how weak and pathetic she was if she allowed another breakdown.

Her thoughts were so consumed with staying strong, she jumped when she heard the knock on the outside of her bunk wall only to be greeted by the specialist who had returned with his comforter and pillow from his own bunk, pajamas already dawned.

Ward placed the pillow down on the ground closer to Skye's bed so that he wasn't crowding her room before he lay down on his back next to the surprised analyst. "To be honest, I'm a little tired to and sleep sounds amazing," he managed to explain before a yawn took over. "You don't mind do you?" He asked straightforward, turning his attention to the young girl.

Skye finally composed herself from the shock but decided not to answer. Slowly fixing her pillow, she lay down on her side and stared at the man that was making things so much more difficult. She wondered if someone had suggested to her compromised subconscious for Ward to be extra persistent today or maybe her subconscious had done it on its own, desperate for some form of comfort.

Having him lay down so close to her caused her body to shift towards anxiety and yet Ward being out of sight was basis for anxiety as well. There was just no winning for her, no matter what happened. So she decided to take comfort in the distance that he had purposefully placed between them before forcing her body to relax a little.

She didn't sleep. She couldn't. Not with him being so close; not with the idea that they might decide to turn him into the monster that they created at the facility. But soon after, she watched as his breathing deepened and his respirations decreased. Its then that she saw the exhaustion written all over him; the dark eyes, the tiny swaying he couldn't fully cover up when he was walking, the hidden yawns. Observing this, she began to wonder what he had done on his mission only for her logic to kick in and remind her that there had been no mission. That it wasn't real.

As her emotions retaliated, her mind screamed at her not to do it, but her hand had it's own thoughts as she reached out slowly till her fingers barely grazed his shoulder. She froze when his eyes opened and he caught her gaze before he focused his attention on her hand that he barely could even register. Turning on his side to face her, Ward gently wrapped his hand around hers, placing them down in the gap that separated the two agents.

Skye couldn't remember when she had last breathed as her heart rate picked up its pace. Her attention was caught on her traitorous hand before she looked up and caught the gaze of her SO again.

"This ok?" He asked quietly, partially feeling stupid for pushing her and partially feeling selfish for wanting the contact to put his mind at ease from the nightmares that his rookie had begun to play the lead role as they haunted him; like his subconscious had known that there was no way he could have checked up on her in the last three days.

Her logic told her to answer no and pull her hand back as it fought to preserve and ready her for what was to come, but the part of her that felt like a scared little girl who was drifting out in the dark and stormy sea begged her to hold on, to enjoy the moment before the monsters came back and took it away.

With Skye finally admitting that she was back at the facility, the scared little girl won out as she gave him a nod that earned her a small smile from the man that had become to good to be real; his eyes drifting shut again.

She couldn't help it when she began to count his respirations; an even 15 every minute with little variation. She couldn't help but to admit that it felt nice having him around. She couldn't help but to try and focus on the feeling of his hand wrapped securely around hers, studying it desperately as if it was the last time. She couldn't help it when her eyes drifted shut and she allowed herself to fall asleep, the exhaustion of the past few days catching up with her.

She couldn't help it when her last thoughts focused on the fact that she was beyond compromised and wouldn't be able to trust her own judgment and actions when it came to her team, but for now, she didn't care.

**AN: **reviews make the world go round…JK that would be chocolate, although your thoughts and reviews are appreciated!


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